Shut Up and Listen - A Sports Take by Deon Carson and Baxter Hall

For Who? For What?

Why do we want our athletes to act differently than we’d advise our friends to?

                Ah, I remember it like it was yesterday. Blake Griffin, an NBA star, was drafted by the Los Angeles Clippers in 2009 and was approaching his first real opportunity at free agency in the summer of 2017. He was in his athletic prime and had plenty of suitors ready to open up their checkbooks for a talent like Blake's. On the first day of free agency, Blake gave the only team he had ever played for, the first attempt to pitch their vision. Oh, and they made a pitch of all pitches! The Clippers brass brought Blake into the Staples Center, pumped in crowd noise, lowered the lights, and forecasted the future as his  jersey was being hung from the rafters.  The PA announcer said: "Tonight, we’re honoring a lifelong Clipper". Amazing, right? How cool. Blake decided shortly thereafter that Los Angeles was the place for him to retire. Let's stop it there for a moment. We’ll get back to that shortly.

I cannot say it loud enough; loyalty in business is almost non-existent and like it or not, sports are a business. For some reason fans only submit to that premise when the owners make the decisions, but when the players are deciding it becomes personal. Fans: You sound crazy!!! Let’s go through a few examples.

Leading up to the 2018 NBA draft Villanova’s Mikal Bridges was projected to be drafted by the Philadelphia 76ers. The same organization that his mother works for in the Human Resources department. As expected, they draft the hometown kid and he and his mother have a very public emotional moment. She keeps her son in their hometown (What mother wouldn’t want that?!) and he gets an opportunity to play for the team he rooted for as a kid. And while Mikal is doing press, donning his new Sixers hat, it is reported on Twitter that he’s just been traded across the country to Phoenix. Across the country (Chris Rock’s voice)! The reporters in the press room knew before he was even notified!  Anger from the fans? Nope not a peep just chalked up to the cost of doing business.

Deon currently resides in Louisiana. Home of the New Orleans Saints, an organization that was so bad their fans showed up to the games wearing paper bags on their heads. Sean Payton and Drew Brees arrive and all that changes with several playoff appearances and a Super Bowl win. A few years ago, they begin to struggle a bit and the fans here commence to call for the coaches’ head and recommend they move on from their quarterback. Loyalty you say? Those same fans would have been up in arms had Drew said he didn’t want to play here anymore.

When Ricky Waters said “For who? For what?” is this what he meant?

Most recently Demar Derozan was traded from Toronto to San Antonio after he was assured by Toronto that the team was moving forward with him at the helm. Now the same media and fans harping on Kawhi Leonard for being a so-called diva for wanting out of San Antonio have been largely silent or on the side of Toronto for acquiring an upgrade. So, you are approving a team making a clear upgrade because it makes sense, but you’re upset at Demarcus Cousins for making a clear upgrade to a better team? Again, you sound crazy!

Back to Blake Griffin and last summer’s free agency. At this time Blake could have left the team and signed elsewhere, taking control of his destiny. Instead he bought into this vision and re-signs with the Clippers… who then traded him six months later! Where are the snake emojis, where are the trader chants, where’s the vitriol?

There was none from you so-called fans there was not a wave; not a dang on ripple. Save that crap when we’re talking about the players choosing to play where they want to play. What about the less heralded players getting traded in the middle of a road trip being denied entry onto the team plane or players on minimum contracts being cut the day before their salary is guaranteed? Then again, you probably do hear but just don’t care.

We, as a society, talk about being anti-establishment, but we actually are the opposite. That's no knock to anyone, it's the only way our society works. If we all were fighting the system, there would be no system. We talk trash about our bosses about being underappreciated and the moment that we can leave and (seemingly) improve our situation, we do. Most of us will just complain with no action, but a great number will take action; like ask for a raise, go after a promotion, or change employers completely. Then we celebrate these moves.

We toast to taking our life into our own hands and seeking a happier and overall more fulfilling situation. We should do these things, but why are we so against our favorite athletes doing the same thing? We should celebrate all employees empowering themselves and doing what makes them happy. Because if given the chance, many of you would do the exact same things that you complain about.

The Big Money Bob Theory

#BaxtersBuzz

There are only 4 selling days left in the month. The leader board  is sparse to say the least. There are a couple of folks who have hit their quota, but most of us are still just trying to close the business that we've forecast. Management is nervous, per usual, and because they're only one-trick-ponies, they call everyone into the conference room for a "come to Jesus" meeting. I have a little anxiety just writing this.

"What are you 100% certain will close this month?" They ask as everyone's name is being written on the white board. Each name being more crisp than the last, as management attempts to maintain its manufactured enthusiasm. 100% certain? The honest answer is, "absolutely nothing," but those responses don't go over well in meetings like this. So management encourages you to lie, so they can feel better about the numbers they give upper management (then they can blame YOU when those projected numbers fall flat). So as we all try to tell the least ridiculous lie, pushing just a few chips into the center, here come Big Money Bob. He talks about this huge deal (that's over half of his entire monthly quota) and how he's certain that it will close before month's end (for the record, this is the sixth month in a row that he's made some variation of the same promise, yielding very few results). He's just doing what we all should be doing....in a way.

Staff Meeting Monotony - "Hello, let me tell you how great I am". Whenever certain people interject themselves into a conversation, that's typically all I would hear. Or you have these other people who think that talking, even when you don't have something beneficial to say is the way to go. And even though I think it looks silly, not everyone feels that way. Actually, I'm the silly one. Rolling my eyes at these "clowns" while the VP of our company learns their names and not mine. Damn, was I dumb! 

Self Advocate -  It is important to advocate for yourself. It's important to remind the group (and leadership) of the projects that you are working on and what you bring to the table. The part that I struggle with is how to do it organically. Sometimes there isn't a natural way to make people aware of how awesome you are. I'm often very self conscious about talking about myself too much. I'm wondering if that's a lack of confidence or just being too aware? What if the reason that I don't want to talk is to not make others self conscious (another topic for another day)?  This is something that I have been working on, because you either speak up for yourself or allow others to control your narrative. I've been on THAT side of the aisle too many times, thinking that my hard work would speak for itself, as it fell on deaf ears.

What You Can Control - Maybe it is a weekly meeting with your manager. You ask for feedback, but also give your thoughts on things. This would also be the appropriate time to share some of your ideas or projects that she may not be aware of. We all have so many things to balance during the course of a day, getting on your boss's schedule for 15-30 minutes can make all the difference. 

Preparation Is Key - Be prepared to talk about company, how you can add value, and what you are already doing to add value. 

If you can't get time on their calendar, be prepared with 1-3 items to mention during those dreaded team meetings. Find a way to weave them into the discussion to remind folks that you're still around and engaged. And if you feel that there's no way to smoothly insert a comment into the discussion, do it anyway! It probably won't be as bad as you think.

Self Made - Big Money Bob was a guy I worked with in the past. He was always talking about the deals that he was working on. Sharing these with anyone who'd listen. Very few of them ever came to fruition, but we gave him the name of Big Money Bob, because of the deals that he would talk about. That's like getting the name Speedy because you talk about how fast you are, but you have never won a race! It worked in many ways for Bob though. At least he was being talked about. 

The great poet Shawn Jay-Z Carter asks, "Would you rather be underpaid or overrated?" Sure, too much attention can backfire. There is no fool-proof plan, but the presentation can be more persuasive than the substance IF DONE CORRECTLY.

Hard work doesn't speak for itself. It works! If you want your deeds to be recognized, you better hire an agent or look for opportunities to inform leadership of what you are doing. Odds are that you will be overlooked otherwise.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

Shut Up and Listen - A Sports Take by Deon Carson

When Did We Start Caring?
How our current NBA media and fan base is making more excuses than ever for its players

Since when did you care? At what point did you begin to care about athletes being tired?

At what point did “Super Teams” become bad? Since when did injuries count against the team

that won? I can assure you that historically you never cared about any of these things, not one

time in the history of sports.

Oh, you don’t believe me? The Showtime Lakers were a super team. Bird's Celtics were a Super Team. Zeke and the Pistons tried to build a super team when he asked management to acquire Adrian Dantley after he led the NBA in scoring. When Boston traded for Ray Allen and KG the media called them the Big 3, but they were, however short lived, a super team. The thing is they were never called a super team even though they pretty much had the odds in their favor to make it to the finals every year. The term "super team" did not exist and furthermore it never mattered until the players took the reins in assembling them. It’s a made up term by a weak media and it’s re-echoed by weak fans.

So now injuries “taint” championships? When did this become part of the narrative? In the 1983 NBA playoffs James Worthy injures his leg and misses the finals against the Sixers. Have we taken that into consideration when talking about that Philly team? No, we simply call it one of the best playoff runs in history. No caveat no excuses just credit for winning. In the 1988 NBA Finals Isiah Thomas hurts his ankle against the Lakers then proceeded to put on a historic performance before being rendered useless in the closeout game. Do we say yeah Magic has five but that fifth ring is tainted because Zeke got hurt? No, we simply call Magic a five-time NBA champ. No caveat or excuse just credit for winning. Championship 1989 Magic Johnson injures his hamstring vs the Pistons. Do we say Zeke has 1.5 rings because that one is tainted? No, we say Bad Boys Back to Back champs. No caveat or excuse just credit for winning.

During the 1991 NBA finals both Worthy and Scott were injured vs the Bulls. Do we say yeah Mike has six rings but he was lucky on that first one? No, we say Mike is 6 for 6 in NBA finals case closed. No caveat or excuse just credit for winning. In the 2003 playoffs the San Antonio Spurs got breaks against two separate teams. Against Dallas Dirk got hurt in game 3 and missed the rest of the series and against Phoenix Joe Johnson misses the series with an eye injury (not to mention the

suspensions). Neither series was a gimme, but do we say yeah Timmy has five rings but in 2003

he got lucky? No, we simply call him a five-time NBA champion. No caveat or excuse just credit for winning.

And let’s not forget this season Boston without Kyrie and Gordon take Cleveland to game 7 of the ECF. Do we say LeBron made it to 8 straight finals but hey he’s lucky on the 8th one? No, we say LeBron James has made it to 8 straight NBA finals that is an amazing feat. No caveats or excuses just credit for the feat.

Injuries have never tainted a championship. That is a new narrative; a weak excuse from weak fans and an even weaker media. These new rules and caveats make the fans look weaker than ever, and I truly believe it makes the athletes weak too. Now the players have the gall to use the same lame excuses that you fans use. They tweet them, they even spew them in interviews and it’s your fault. You’ve made them weak, you are messing up the game. You are disregarding logical debate with your circular reasoning. Thanks zealots have a nice day. No not really.

Not Cool

#BaxtersBuzz

I don't want to spend much time revising and reworking this. I want this to just flow. It is Thursday morning and I feel the best that I've felt all week. The most coherent.

On Sunday, while at tennis, Zara had a meltdown. Something that was very unlike her. She was dejected and confidence was leaking from her pony tails, to the pink Nikes on her feet. Not my boisterous and self assured Zara. This girl had her head down and felt every mistake was the end of life as she knew it.
It was concerning because this was a repeat of last week at tennis. I was disturbed by the situation and unsure of how to resolve it. I immediately called the wife to share my concerns and brainstorm a solution. Bryce, our two year old commands a lot of attention. A LOT. Is this diminishing our focus? Has Zara been neglected in some way as we work on getting Brycie to use more words and to stop destroying our house? Have we been too hard on her and not allowed her to be a child? Is our tolerance too low for her (newly five!) five year old behavior? Are we expecting her to give us a break because we feel that our bandwidth has reached its limit? Do we have a realistic set of expectations when it comes to raising two small children? Are we making enough sacrifices?

When wifey is talking to me and I'm laughing at a thread on Twitter....not cool, right? Maybe she rolls her eyes, but doesn't get upset because she did the same thing to me earlier. Or maybe she has gotten used to getting only part of my attention. But there's a moment where I've chosen to put some strangers and their comments above my wife's words and she can feel it. She can tell that I'm not completely present. How do my children feel when I'm only partially listening to them? How does my extremely observant daughter interpret my absence? If my family is truly the most important thing in my life, why aren't my actions aligning with my feelings? How do I feel when I don't have someone's undivided attention? Not cool.

On Sunday I decided that I'd be taking myself away from social media for the week. I wanted to ensure that I was more mentally present at home and my hope was that my mind would be less full of clutter. I owe it to my family. I've prayed so long for them, so why do I take them for granted at times??

Kanye West has tens of millions of people following his every move and providing feedback. How many people are truly invested in me and my loved ones? What deserves more of my attention? If I only had 24 hours to live, how much of that time would I dedicate to my family versus social media? As I mark off my proverbial checklist after each day, what do I want to see? I can't imagine social media being anywhere towards the top of that list.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

Facts

#BaxtersBuzz

Friends With New Benefits - The strangest thing happened as I wrote and worked through some issues inside my brain last week: I broke up with some of my friends. Well, it's more like we were dating and then I put them in the "friend zone".  Time is valuable and as our children get older, they meet friends at daycare and even more friends once they get to school. Next thing you know, you go from coordinating events with your old friends, to planning things with the parents of your children's friends! This is not a problem specific to you or me. This is happening all over the country. Parents are becoming more selective with who they invite to parties and many "old" friends are getting left out. A few Fridays ago, I was out with a few of my old friends. My one friend was having a birthday party for his child the following day and he hadn't invited any of us who he was hanging out with (potentially very awkward, right?). Indirectly, we found out that night and it got a little awkward (see, I told you). We didn't make the cut. Plain and simple. Things evolve and we need to be honest with ourselves and honest with the people that we care about. Even if they're not on the short list of invitees anymore. There's still memories to make and fun times to share. Just in a different capacity.

April at the Halls - April will be jam packed. Both Zara and Bryce will have birthdays...and somewhere in there I'll quietly celebrate a birthday too. I'm always so focused on wifey's plans for the children, that I forget that none of this would be possible had I not been born first! Facts. LOL

Areas of Improvement - Work is getting busier, which I like. My efficiency will play a huge role in whether I hit the type of sales numbers that I'm striving for. A schedule for each day, setting aside time for administrative tasks as well as more revenue generating activities. I believe God has me in this role in order for me to strengthen my weakness in organization, while helping the entire department run better. The ideas, I have. The execution is the area for improvement.

Bouncing Off The Walls - I'm such a dork. I'm listening to A Cappella versions of Michael Jackson songs. Let me just say this regarding Michael Jackson: Off The Wall is a superior album to Thriller. The songs are stronger (besides Girlfriend, which I can completely do without) and it was his most important album. Michael was now with Epic Records, and the thought was that the former child star's ship had already sailed. His last solo album with Motown Records, released in 1975 called Forever Michael, did not do well to say the least(why else do you think Motown let him go?).
Off The Wall was his first album with Epic when everyone was ready to write his career off. Can you imagine being called a "has been" at 16 years old?
Needless to say, he knocked it out the park and became an adult artist to be reckoned with his 1979 release Off The Wall. His next album, Thriller released in 1982, became the world's largest selling album of all time in just over a year after its release. Thriller was amazing, yes. But there's no Thriller without Off The Wall. And song for song, it's a better project! Facts.

Back to You - What stage are you in now? An up and coming talent, trying to find your way? A star in your own right, enjoying your success in your field? Or are you currently slumping and letting doubt settle in? It's time for you to lock in, concentrate and work on your Off The Wall. Bounce back and prove it to yourself that you belong. Whether you believe that you can be great or that you have no chance at greatness...you're right.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

2031

#BaxtersBuzz
Every day is different with children. Just when you think you've found some sort of rhythm, a new tooth comes and ruins your good night's sleep. Already in the month of March Zara has lost two teeth and Bryce has a new molar pushing through. How do kids look with one or two adult teeth and the rest baby teeth?? I'm guessing pretty ridiculous.

Know the Difference - I've had a very interesting 12 months or when it comes to work. I've witnessed some of the most inspiring leadership and the absolute worse leadership that I've ever been a part of in my entire 20 years of being an employee. Many of us are in positions not because of some of our most glaring flaws, but in spite of them. But when folks are successful, it's difficult for them to accept they have room for improvement. Sometimes major room! Some will say, "This stubbornness is the reason I've owned my company for so many years." But maybe your stubbornness is the reason your company hasn't been more successful. They never consider that though.

Self Evaluation - Know your strengths and don't be afraid of your weaknesses. There's courage in objectivity. It takes a lot to be honest with yourself. Don't beat yourself up, but understand the areas of improvement and work on them. Maybe start with a book on the subject and go from there. And don't limit it to just a particular aspect of your life. I have work to be done at home as a husband AND as a father. I also have holes in my game at work. The key is doing your very best each day. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz has helped me understand this concept: My best today may be different from my best yesterday. I may have a higher ceiling some days, and a lower floor some other days. Just do the best you can on that day and have peace that you gave the day your all.

Back to the Babies - Zara has her first beauty shop (beauty salon?) appointment this week. Where has the time gone? I remember when the nurse handed her to me, her eyes were wide open. She was so attentive. Those big ole eyes locked in on me. I didn't know it then, but my life would never be the same. She'll be starting kindergarten in the fall and another chapter will begin. Class of 2031. That doesn't even sound like a real number! I guess that makes Bryce class of 2034? Okay, this is too much for this daddy to handle for one night.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

Hello, It's Me

#BaxtersBuzz

As I wind down this Sunday evening, I'm listening to The Isley Brothers, wishing I could be a fly on those walls when the songwriters were crafting these classics. I'm such a fan of words. Which is why I'm back sharing a few with you all.

Chatty Patty - This weekend was interesting because Zara was with her granny. The wife dropped her off on Friday and I picked her up Sunday just before her tennis lessons at noon. Poor Bryce is never invited over to Granny's. He's a busy boy and I don't believe she has faith that she can keep up with him. I pray that changes, because mommy and daddy could use a break from them both! 

In Due Time - As we approach Bryce's second birthday, he's adding all sorts of words to his baby vocabulary. Not the chatty Patty that Zara was/is, but he seems to have a lot to say too. He has been more of a doer than a talker so far, but over the past couple of weeks, he seems to be making huge strides in the verbal department. 

While baby girl was gone this weekend, Bryce took advantage of having mom and dad to himself. He behaved himself when we went out to dinner and he seemed to talk a TON more. He added quite a few words this weekend and has participated more when we attempt to coax him into repeating us. He enjoys doing the opposite of what we ask him to do (that's my boy!), but he's coming around. Typically Bryce says a word, we get excited and beg him to say it again. He then looks at us with zero intentions to grant our request. Wifey was worried about his two year checkup and how many words he'd have. His 18 month checkup was great besides him not having but a few words. He seems to like waiting until the last minute to take care of his business. He's a chip off the old block! I think Wifey can rest easy now. Bryce just needed a tad bit more time and maybe some more attention from us both.

Boys Will Be Boys - I feel like Bryce and I have gotten closer. I know it sounds funny when you're talking about your own kid, but the truth is the truth! He has mellowed some, but more importantly, I've spent more time just hanging and playing with him. It's important for him to let off some steam and be an aggressive little boy. He can play a little rougher with me than the kids at daycare. And even though Zara gets rough, I always make sure neither one of them are going overboard. 

Bottom line is -  All of us, big or small all want to be paid attention to. Zara is so demanding of everyone's attention that she doesn't leave much for anyone else. There are a total of four of us in this house. Bryce, Zara, Wifey and I. We ALL require a certain amount of attention and aren't happy when the others don't meet our requirements. Then there's this elephant in the room... These effin phones! Many times the wife and I want to unwind when we get home and the first thing we do is grab our phones, but the kids haven't seen us all day and they miss us and want some attention. The key is putting that damn phone down and devoting that attention to my children. I have been more intentional about it the past couple of weeks, and it has been helpful. Very helpful actually. In the grand scheme of things, there's nothing as important as spending time with those stinkers. Especially nothing on those damn phones.

Shout out to my big homie. His birthday is today. Peace and blessings, Ant.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.