Baxter's Buzz
So this is a Thursday night post that may or may not make the cut. My plan is to publish this tonight, but this isn't the first time I've attempted to blog about this topic. I unsuccessfully attempted this earlier this week. Here goes nothing:
Tomorrow, my baby turns 17 months. I sent pictures to some of my family members (only the ones who always ask me for pictures. I added them all to a group on my phone) recently and one of my sisters made the comment that my baby girl reminded her of my mom (I say "my mom" because we have different mothers). Last Friday was my mother's birthday. She would've been 66 years old. March of 2015 will be the 25th year that she's been gone. She died in 1990 and after 24+ years, I have NO CLUE how I've made it this far. I am truly blessed. I haven't had a ton of people in my corner, per se, just a potent group of people. Those who don't know your struggle don't understand why you hold your head up high. Why you don't let petty things affect your mood (most of the time).
We live in this world where most of what we see isn't real. Corporate America is made up mostly of puppets and unhappy people. Every now and then, I'll look around at work and wonder if there's anyone else looking at the world from my uncommon perspective. There are a few people that I know personally, and I have a good idea of how they see things. I wonder about many others. Sometimes I want to pull certain people aside and ask them if they are part of the flock or just pretending to be.
I don't belong. I don't fit. I try (at times), but I feel like everyone knows the truth. Sometimes I'm wearing my disappointment on my sleeve. I don't intentionally go against the grain. I am not outwardly antagonistic. I mostly keep my mouth shut when I hear regurgitated jargon and ridiculous claims that insult my intelligence. Sometimes I get REALLY antsy though. I discreetly peak around the conference room to see if anyone will take a stand. And nobody blows holes into this weak sauce that's being served! And I keep my mouth shut as well, afraid that I'll ruin the end of the movie for everyone. That maybe nobody has seen this movie and I'll be letting the proverbial "cat out of the bag," or EVERYONE knows the ending but playing along And those who suspected that I didn't belong in the first place will point and say, "See! He is not one of us!"
My baby girl is a constant reminder of how obvious us adults can be. She can be playing with one of our smart phones and we'll attempt to "trick" her and sneak a toy phone in her hand as we snatch our much more expensive phone from her. How does she react? The same way I want to react when I get a lame response from leadership when I ask a question. The same way I want to react when I feel like nobody actually understands my perspective, but they nod their head in an attempt to pacify me. My wife and I are not fooling my baby no more than some coward in your corporate office is fooling you. But what do you do with that information? More than likely, you won't do anything. Just like I haven't done anything.
My mom passed in March of 1990. My dad passed in March of 2014. I think she'd be proud of what I've done so far. I know my dad was proud. Imperfect, for sure. A lot of great ideas, but not enough of them have grown legs. I've followed my heart at times when I should've thought things through more. Other times, I've hesitated when I should've just reacted. With all that being said, I have progressed. I still have a ways to go. But what's next for me?
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Who's Your Competition?
Who's your competition? - Competition is a good thing. It is the element that makes champions. It's also the element that makes enemies. Success cannot be attained without competition. Sometimes we're competing with others unknowingly. Sometimes they know and you don't, and vice versa.
There are people who are in my office who I indirectly compete with. Our sales numbers are close and I'm always curious about how they're doing from month to month. Maybe they look at my numbers the same way.
"Cleanup in aisle nine" - My 16 month old baby has a special talent. She can make any food (or drink) messy. And us adults seem to do the same thing regarding life. We are imperfect, emotional, impulsive beings. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so human. So messy.
Being Flynn - So I watched a movie this weekend call, "Being Flynn," starring Robert DeNiro. Interesting movie. Writers see the world differently and because of that, "creatives" have a higher chance to suffer from depression or other mental illnesses like bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. My defense mechanism is to dismiss things immediately. I don't feel like I have the time to worry about things that I cannot control. But the things that I think about, I REALLY think about, many times, to my own detriment. Replaying moments in my head and seeing details that others miss, gives me a unique perspective. I understand how depression can set in. Replaying items over and over in your brain can seem obsessive (It seems this way because....it is!), but it allows you to articulate from a different place. Great for writing, but can be bad for regular ole' life.
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Sunday, August 31, 2014
Labor Day Rant
Baxter's Buzz
I've worked really hard to have a FAMILY. The type of family I didn't see growing up. This perfectly stitched image. something that says, "We made it."
Life is so imperfect and we need to just roll with the punches. We don't need to let everyone know all of our problems, but appreciate the imperfections as opportunities for improvement. Appreciate the imperfections as a reminder that nobody is at 100%. Every household, every person, every family, every business, every relationship has areas for improvement. BUT. But it will never be perfect. We get mad at the company we work for because things aren't "perfect," but we go home to all sorts of issues and seem to just accept them. Why is that?
Folks expend so much energy attempting to appear perfect. Why don't you take some of that time and work on improving your situation instead of maintaining your facade? Then it'd allow others to relax as well, because they'd realize that they weren't the only ones facing a situation. That'll never happen though.
My imperfections. My struggles. My insecurities. All of these things have made me. My failures have pushed me towards new endeavors. My failures taught me that I could bounce back from these things and do great things and replace some previous failures with successes. I'm a winner, but ONLY because of my failures. Winning isn't always being on top. Winning is scraping from the bottom and finding that crack of light in the midst of darkness. And following that light with the optimism that more is coming. That you'll see more light eventually. And if not for the dark, what is light? How can one truly appreciate the light, if they haven't experienced dark times?
We're all incomplete. Unfinished canvases looking for a particular brush or color to make it a masterpiece. Don't ever stop looking but also take time to appreciate your canvas. It IS a masterpiece in the making and the imperfect areas provides character and depth. Embrace the good and bad as part of YOUR canvas and don't ever give up.
I've worked really hard to have a FAMILY. The type of family I didn't see growing up. This perfectly stitched image. something that says, "We made it."
Life is so imperfect and we need to just roll with the punches. We don't need to let everyone know all of our problems, but appreciate the imperfections as opportunities for improvement. Appreciate the imperfections as a reminder that nobody is at 100%. Every household, every person, every family, every business, every relationship has areas for improvement. BUT. But it will never be perfect. We get mad at the company we work for because things aren't "perfect," but we go home to all sorts of issues and seem to just accept them. Why is that?
Folks expend so much energy attempting to appear perfect. Why don't you take some of that time and work on improving your situation instead of maintaining your facade? Then it'd allow others to relax as well, because they'd realize that they weren't the only ones facing a situation. That'll never happen though.
My imperfections. My struggles. My insecurities. All of these things have made me. My failures have pushed me towards new endeavors. My failures taught me that I could bounce back from these things and do great things and replace some previous failures with successes. I'm a winner, but ONLY because of my failures. Winning isn't always being on top. Winning is scraping from the bottom and finding that crack of light in the midst of darkness. And following that light with the optimism that more is coming. That you'll see more light eventually. And if not for the dark, what is light? How can one truly appreciate the light, if they haven't experienced dark times?
We're all incomplete. Unfinished canvases looking for a particular brush or color to make it a masterpiece. Don't ever stop looking but also take time to appreciate your canvas. It IS a masterpiece in the making and the imperfect areas provides character and depth. Embrace the good and bad as part of YOUR canvas and don't ever give up.
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Welcome To The Club
Baxter's Buzz
So there's a Coney Island that I'll go to from time to time to buy breakfast. Every now and then, I'll have enough time to call my order in, pick it up and still get to work on time. It feels like every time I go inside the restaurant, there's a new cook working. One day while I waited (waay too long) for a simple order of eggs, hash browns, and sausage, the server apologize profously and even went as far to say, "He won't be here long," in reference to the latest cook. He had this look on face: Annoyed. Confused. The staff of servers seem to remain consistent, but the only thing consistent about the revolving door of cooks was the look on their faces.
Why is that? Why do some people last at a job and some are sent packing?
A friend of mine left my current employer because, quite frankly, they were made an offer they could not refuse. The other issue was the lack of support they received at their former employer. They weren't the favorite of some of the more influential people at work because those folks did not know how to handle a genuine person who happened to be comfortable in their own skin. Yes, my friend is loud, but never malicious. By the time people realized that, in fact, this person was truly awesome, the narrative was already written. They lost a good worker and an even better person when my friend took another job.
Why do certain people hang on at a job? Is it because they get the blessings of the "cool kids"?
The other thing is leadership. Bad managers will run off good people. Sometimes you hire a bad manager and before you realize that they're awful, you've lost a handful of quality employees. Sometimes the managers have been there so long, it sort of becomes a situation where folks just accept it and throw their hands up. Poor management/leadership kills an organization from so many angles. You lose good personnel, your team is underdeveloped and you kill morale because everyone can see this proverbial train is headed nowhere fast!
Companies have these surveys, wanting to know if employees are happy, but many times they're missing the obvious. Leadership is weak and won't get rid of the cancers in the organization, or the leaderership is, in fact, the cancers and nobody above them (if there is someone above them) recognize this or have the guts to make a change.
Do all of the cooks at the Coney Island I frequent suck? Let's peel the onion back slightly. Who's hiring these guys? Are they doing something wrong? Are they being picked on by these spiteful servers, and are the servers the real issue? Has anyone talked to them? How many "bad hires" can there be until they look at some other issues?
FYI, I started this blog weeks ago and since then I have decided that I'm NEVER going back to that Coney. The servers are careless and indifferent at best, and rude at worst.
But what do I know?
So there's a Coney Island that I'll go to from time to time to buy breakfast. Every now and then, I'll have enough time to call my order in, pick it up and still get to work on time. It feels like every time I go inside the restaurant, there's a new cook working. One day while I waited (waay too long) for a simple order of eggs, hash browns, and sausage, the server apologize profously and even went as far to say, "He won't be here long," in reference to the latest cook. He had this look on face: Annoyed. Confused. The staff of servers seem to remain consistent, but the only thing consistent about the revolving door of cooks was the look on their faces.
Why is that? Why do some people last at a job and some are sent packing?
A friend of mine left my current employer because, quite frankly, they were made an offer they could not refuse. The other issue was the lack of support they received at their former employer. They weren't the favorite of some of the more influential people at work because those folks did not know how to handle a genuine person who happened to be comfortable in their own skin. Yes, my friend is loud, but never malicious. By the time people realized that, in fact, this person was truly awesome, the narrative was already written. They lost a good worker and an even better person when my friend took another job.
Why do certain people hang on at a job? Is it because they get the blessings of the "cool kids"?
The other thing is leadership. Bad managers will run off good people. Sometimes you hire a bad manager and before you realize that they're awful, you've lost a handful of quality employees. Sometimes the managers have been there so long, it sort of becomes a situation where folks just accept it and throw their hands up. Poor management/leadership kills an organization from so many angles. You lose good personnel, your team is underdeveloped and you kill morale because everyone can see this proverbial train is headed nowhere fast!
Companies have these surveys, wanting to know if employees are happy, but many times they're missing the obvious. Leadership is weak and won't get rid of the cancers in the organization, or the leaderership is, in fact, the cancers and nobody above them (if there is someone above them) recognize this or have the guts to make a change.
Do all of the cooks at the Coney Island I frequent suck? Let's peel the onion back slightly. Who's hiring these guys? Are they doing something wrong? Are they being picked on by these spiteful servers, and are the servers the real issue? Has anyone talked to them? How many "bad hires" can there be until they look at some other issues?
FYI, I started this blog weeks ago and since then I have decided that I'm NEVER going back to that Coney. The servers are careless and indifferent at best, and rude at worst.
But what do I know?
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
David and Goliath
Baxter's Buzz
I just finished reading the book David and Goliath by Malcom Gladwell. It takes a look at underdogs versus (perceived) favorites and emphasizes that things are not always what they seem. It examines the "misfits and the art of battling giants."
We must be willing to challenge what's considered
"common knowledge" and use our downfalls as strength, giving us
courage in our next endeavor. It's funny how I can listen to music or read a
book or have a convo with someone and the themes feel similar. I believe that God will continue to enter themes in your life in order for you to receive a particular message. I know
sometimes people don't want to think, and I'm like that....sometimes. But
there's so much to think about ! How long should we be "not
thinking"? LOL.
The powerful aren't as powerful as it seems and the same goes for the weak. there's no substitute for experience. Experience, when used correctly, gives us courage. At our best, we're able to turn fear into a strength. Confidence knows no competition. But how do we acquire confidence?
The powerful aren't as powerful as it seems and the same goes for the weak. there's no substitute for experience. Experience, when used correctly, gives us courage. At our best, we're able to turn fear into a strength. Confidence knows no competition. But how do we acquire confidence?
I'm tired of being
afraid. I. WANT. MORE. I don't want to let fear or laziness keep me from all
the cool shit that I wanna do!
Tragedy effects us all differently. It has made
me a persistent SOB! It has made me dismiss failure because I was so used to it. I would pick myself up so quickly from a fall, if you blinked you may have missed it. Failure doesn't devastate me, it allows me to hone in on my goal even more. Persistence is probably the best trait I have, and it is directly related to things I faced as a young man. Being able to bounce back from pitfalls has given me confidence to continue on.
But as I've acquired some things and attained some success,
I've gotten lazy at times. Combine that with accumulating things: Wife, house,
children and you tend to be a bit more conservative, afraid of losing what you
actually have. Even though THERE'S SO MUCH MORE to accumulate. And so much to
teach and share with others.
We must not forget who or what "brought us to the dance," meaning we must continue to utilize our strengths as we strive for goals. When you get that promotion at work, you must now work even harder for the next one. When you buy that home, you have to crank it up a notch to maintain it. When you get married, you must give 10 times the effort in order to keep that union thriving.
I believe that I've lost some of my edge over time. And if you become too polished, you tend to blend in and become a piece of the furniture. You become another sheep in the herd. YOUR particular edge will allow you to separate yourself from others in your field. And just remember, you can go from favorite to loser in a short series of moments. But if you are the underdog, play to your strengths and utilize your resources to put the odds of succeeding in your favor.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
January 14, 2014
Baxter's Buzz
My baby girl is down for the night. That's the only time of the day that squirming baby is still. After I fed her I put her on my shoulder and just laid there. I was waiting for her to burp but I didn't want to put her down. She's getting big so fast.She's crawling and I'm sure she waved and said "hi" to a picture of herself today.
On most days I feel like she's the only thing I have in this world. To see the world through a child's eyes, it must be a quite the treat. No limits or prejudices. And a true appreciation for the world around them. Not some "I can't wait until Friday," or "Just trying to maintain." These children are learning something new everyday and soaking up the world as it comes.
Genuine energy and enthusiasm for life, every single day. Enthusiasm on a random Sunday afternoon (Even if the Lions lose) or Wednesday evening is something that we can all learn from. Every day is truly a gift.
A gift that is unopened by many and only half opened by most.
I want to wake up like it is Christmas each day. And get the most of my potential for those who didn't make it this far. For friends and family that are no longer with us, lets' live for them! Those who inspired us and helped us along on our journey, let's strive for the best in their honor.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Peace on the Court
Baxter's Buzz
Sports is my reality TV. It helps me get through whatever I'm going through and takes my mind off of real things going on in my life. Those millionaires playing a game is pretty silly, don't you think? As I've gotten older, I haven't taken sports as seriously. I still love my local teams but perspective is a beautiful thing. Like today for instance, the Detroit "Stinkin".Lions loss another winnable game. Do you know how many times I've seen that shit? But I was able to spend the rest of my evening with my lovely wife and my baby girl. How can I be mad about millionaires playing a game when I'm watching my first born be the cutest baby on the planet? Slightly annoyed? Oh, for sure, but nothing more....well, most of the time.
Basketball has been so therapeutic for me over the years. When I was a teenager, thinking the world was going to end because of a girl, I was able to go to the park and let off some steam. I've been playing basketball again recently and it has helped me through some pretty tough times. There's nothing like playing a game you love. I had been away from the game for too long and I didn't always have the proper outlet for my competitive juices. Sometimes you have that pent up aggression with nowhere to direct it. I now feel more balanced.
There's enough seriousness in the world, and we're all big kids so sports brings our attention to something that isn't work or family. Just a little trash talking and an opportunity to enjoy teamwork at its finest (when you're winning).
As my friend and I walked out of the gym today, we asked another guy that we've been playing with if there was something wrong. He didn't seem like himself and he finally admitted that he had just attended his cousin's funeral yesterday. Then he said, "I came to the gym to get away from it and my mind off of things." It feels good to know that it isn't just me who can find peace, if only temporary, on the basketball court.
Sports is my reality TV. It helps me get through whatever I'm going through and takes my mind off of real things going on in my life. Those millionaires playing a game is pretty silly, don't you think? As I've gotten older, I haven't taken sports as seriously. I still love my local teams but perspective is a beautiful thing. Like today for instance, the Detroit "Stinkin".Lions loss another winnable game. Do you know how many times I've seen that shit? But I was able to spend the rest of my evening with my lovely wife and my baby girl. How can I be mad about millionaires playing a game when I'm watching my first born be the cutest baby on the planet? Slightly annoyed? Oh, for sure, but nothing more....well, most of the time.
Basketball has been so therapeutic for me over the years. When I was a teenager, thinking the world was going to end because of a girl, I was able to go to the park and let off some steam. I've been playing basketball again recently and it has helped me through some pretty tough times. There's nothing like playing a game you love. I had been away from the game for too long and I didn't always have the proper outlet for my competitive juices. Sometimes you have that pent up aggression with nowhere to direct it. I now feel more balanced.
There's enough seriousness in the world, and we're all big kids so sports brings our attention to something that isn't work or family. Just a little trash talking and an opportunity to enjoy teamwork at its finest (when you're winning).
As my friend and I walked out of the gym today, we asked another guy that we've been playing with if there was something wrong. He didn't seem like himself and he finally admitted that he had just attended his cousin's funeral yesterday. Then he said, "I came to the gym to get away from it and my mind off of things." It feels good to know that it isn't just me who can find peace, if only temporary, on the basketball court.
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