What Are You Working For?

#BaxtersBuzz

I have all of these great ideas, but I feel like my time is dwindling. Those who work traditional jobs, give their best hours to their employer. And fools like me who also work in the evening, have shrunk the time I have for my own ventures. Is it appreciated? Does my boss or their boss even care that I work late evenings and weekends? The truth is they care, but not much.

I talked to a friend of mine today and he's in sales. He was telling me that he was having his best January ever and he was setting himself up for the best year of his career. Awesome news, right? The strange thing is he seemed down. Many of his coworkers aren't having his type of start and history tells him that change is coming.....and coming soon. Change can disrupt flow and momentum and if leadership is flying by the seat of their pants and being shortsighted, it puts everyone on edge. You can do everything you've planned to do, hit every target, attained every goal and you can still come up short. Such is life.

The older, successful I talk to tell me about balance. Spending time with the family, knowing when to put down the laptop and enjoying your spouse and children. It always makes sense what they say, but I always think if they'd had it to do over again, they'd still bust their butts because that's why they're in their current position. And although I understand the importance of balance in theory, I also feel an enormous amount of pressure to ensure my family is comfortable. Hell, I'm really working to pay daycare from now until.......sheesh! I don't even want to think about it.

As I work to become more balanced and save some of my prime hours for my OWN endeavors, I understand what pays the (daycare) bills now and that is my focus. Honestly, it's always nice to be recognized for hard work, but that's not my goal. My goal is to one day have something to show for all of this hard work..

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

Practicality vs Preference

#BaxtersBuzz

A friend of mine is taking his son's full size bed out of his room to replace it with a twin. The full doesn't allow him much room to play, and when his cousins are over (he has a lot of cousins), there isn't enough room. The logical solution is to get a smaller bed, albeit, not the most popular. Although it feels like a "downgrade," it's really an upgrade. He can be more comfortable in the place he spends the most time.

What part of your life do you need more space to do other things? What part of your life could use some unclogging? What are you filling your life up with because it appears to be the right thing, but is really a hindrance?

I believe we all should occasionally take inventory of those in our lives and be sure that we're making time for the right things.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

A Small Handful

#BaxtersBuzz

Towards the end of 2015, I realized that there were people who I genuinely liked, but never saw. That's a problem. This life is supposed to be enjoyed with those who you share a love and admiration for. If you're devoting all of your time to inconsequentials at work and then they're STILL on your mind once you get home, that's a huge problem.

I've committed to making contact with a small handful of people each day. A group that I designate "family," whether shared bloodlines or not. Those who have similar interests but not so much that it's like talking to myself. Those who my wife enjoys being around. Those who care about my well-being. I can't talk to every single person I know each day, but I can pick a handful of these people and work on building more with them. That's a start and I'll work from there.

When people are busy and doing life, things don't always happen "organically". There are times when you need to force the issue.  Include reaching out to others into your everyday routine. I always laugh when people say, "I've been meaning to call you, but I've been so busy". Like they haven't touch a phone. It's nobody's fault, we are all creatures of habit. Make room for the shit that matters.....relationships. Not working and worrying so much that you can't find time for anything else! Laugh with, cry with, inspire and challenge those closest to you. I want my loved ones to be better because I played a part in their evolvement, not better despite my lack of enthusiasm or encouragement.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

2016 Is My Year!

#BaxtersBuzz

Here We Go Again - This is my attempt to get some feelings and experiences documented before my second child arrives in early April. There are a number of challenges that I'm facing and I want to share. To my 3-4 folks who read when I post, thank you. It's probably down to 1 person since I haven't blogged since March of 2015! I hope to be more consistent moving forward. I'm selfishly hoping that this will unclutter some of the thoughts in my brain.

My second child is expected to arrive about three weeks before my oldest turns three years old. My birthday will be about 10 days between each, but I am not focused on that. I'm sure I'll fit in a celebratory drink/dinner for myself but my biggest concern is getting this newborn here, safe and sound. And of course, making sure my wife is healthy as well. There are so many things to worry about during a pregnancy, but it's such a waste of energy. And it does no good.

We found out we were expecting as I was trying to find my legs in a new job role. I did not handle the transition well. I lost a lot of sleep, worrying about my new leadership team, how I could make more money, how we'd handle another baby and how would we be able to afford it.

Oh Yeah, Money - Leadership is interesting. I think most of us have an idea of what we'd like to do if given a chance to lead, but once in a role, YOUR leaders typically dictate how you'll lead. I've been in the workforce long enough to know that leadership does matter. Poor leaders can force you to leave a job you really like and great leaders can help you enjoy a job and excel where you never thought you could. Some leaders are so caught up in proving their worth, they're impeding the progress of their team. Removing their proverbial thumb and allowing the team to flourish and grow, (with pertinent and occasional input) is what I respond best to. I'm doing my best to give my leadership what they need while trying to work from a consistent playbook. It's the balance that I need in order to keep my sanity....and sleeping at night. 

Keeping What Real? - What I also realized is that nothing brings more peace than prayer. Allowing God to handle my worries has ALWAYS been the best remedy. It's amazing how quickly we can forget about prayer, being too wrapped up in our own minds. I started this blog back in 2008 as a platform to share and work through some of the issues in my head. I had just moved back to Detroit from the west side of the state and was about to get married. I moved to start a new job and was being introduced to the world of corporate America. The pretentiousness and phony people has always been a struggle for me. Now I just work under the assumption that whatever I share will eventually become public knowledge so if I don't want that outcome, keep it to myself. I watch a lot of sports and I'm always amazed at how a player can go from a promising career to a "bust" all because they changed teams. The people around you make all of the difference in the world. A group of folks who build you up will always see better results from you than a group who just tears you down. Seems like a simple concept, but yet there are folks in leadership positions at the highest levels that can't quite grasp this ideology. I'm learning to deal with it better, but I still REALLY STRUGGLE. Guess I need to continue to pray!

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

Family Matters 2015

#BaxtersBuzz

This weekend, starting on Friday, was much more difficult than I had anticipated. My father is a leap year baby and he would've been celebrating his 79th year on earth on Friday. Actually, we (meaning his family) would've been celebrating it and he'd be downplaying it, like he downplayed most things. I remember in 2004 talking to him on the phone, asking him what his plans were for his birthday. He said, "I don't know. It's just another day." I had to remind him that actually it isn't! This is a day that only comes every four years. He never wanted to make a big fuss about things and I can be the same way. One of my goals is to be more passionate about things and remind myself that it's okay to make waves and challenge the status quo from time to time.

I've done things recently that were very much outside of my comfort zone and I've been rewarded with some outstanding results. Those moments of vulnerability are reminders that things still matter. If we never got butterflies or never felt those beads of sweat on our foreheads while going against OUR grain, what are we doing? Everyone on social media and in our personal lives are always talking about "haters" doing this or that to them. I truly believe that we're our own biggest enemy many times. We make promises to ourselves that we never keep and we talk ourselves out of acting boldy, killing our own ambition.

Family Matters - I went to two birthday parties in February. One on the 14th and the other on the 28th. These were both family members of mine. Oddly, wifey and I were the only that attended both. Our family doesn't talk enough. I don't believe that others declined invites, I truly don't think anyone else knew that their family had a party planned. I have little room to talk. I understand that I could be more of a bridge for much of my family and friends, I just don't always know if I want that responsibility. Not sure if I care enough at times. We want others to join in and "play their part," but we don't always play ours. Someone has to jump out there first and take the plunge. What role do you play for your friends and family? Do YOU want a bigger part? Ain't nothing to it, but to do it.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

Poem by Bax February 25, 2015

#BaxtersBuzz Preoccupation I know where you've been.  Where did we go? Time moves fast. They say wounds don't last. But right now, I'm hurting. I appreciate the time. Hope you feel I was deserving.

Time Flies When You're Having Fun (Or if you're not)

#BaxtersBuzz

2014 - This year has started off much differently than last year, to say the least. This time last year, I spent my days working and my evenings split between my home (my wife and child) and visiting my dad in his last days at the hospital. I ran all over town for months, with (seemingly) every single one of my relationships hanging on by a thread or dissipating right before my eyes. Stress will eat at you from all sorts of angles. And even though you may feel like you're handling it, it's taking a toll.

Silly Geese - There was an opportunity or two at work that didn't go my way during this stretch and there were folks foolish enough to think that I cared about what was going on at my 8-5, when my life really started AFTER 5 at that time. People will give you an entire synopsis on another person without ever talking to that person. Seems easier to just ask....but typically the story isn't as good that way (haha).

2015 - This year my life's much different. I want to test my bandwidth like I did last year, but for projects I'd like to be a part of this time. What advice would you give yourself of 5 years ago? How about 10 years ago? Now, are you taking any of that advice or making the same mistakes your "5 years ago self" was making?

Athletes and their darn opinions - Kevin Durant is making headlines because he actually spoke his mind. We say we want honesty from entertainers and athletes, but when they are TOO HONEST or say something that we don't like, then we have a problem with it. Everyone has a right to their opinion, be it right or wrong. I love my wife to death and I don't agree with EVERY opinion that she has. That's suppose to be the beauty of individuality, right? But we reward assimilation more than anything else. So why can't we disagree with entertainers and still enjoy and appreciate their talent? That's why politicians are always lying (well one of the reasons). It's because if they speak too much of their mind and it goes against how most of their base feels, they could be out of a job! No person is just one thing. If we stuck with some politicians as long as we hung around in bad relationships or bad jobs, the country may be in better shape. Amazing how we have less patience for things that we're not involved in. Nobody is batting 1.000.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.