Death. Many times it puts things in perspective. Sometimes we wait too long. When death arrives, it has been too long. I just found out that a friend of mines' father died. He did not attend the funeral. He was wrong, and he knew it. They were not getting along so he held on to the anger he had and didn't attend.
Time is so precious. We all have many things that we'd like to do. We have families to care for, friends, work, etc. There are only so many hours in a day. Last year I was living in Lansing, working 2 jobs. About 70 hours/week. My father was sick. My sisters called me and said he'd be okay. No big deal... He was having 'minor' surgery (if there's such a thing). I was so nervous the day he had surgery and felt terrible because I was working and not there by his side.Well a few weeks later, he was sick again. I had to work both jobs that day, but I decided I was driving to Detroit.
How many fathers do we have in our lifetime? How many moms? How many close friends? In the movie "Tombstone," there's a scene where Doc Holiday (Val Kilmer) is extremely sick, but he's out willing to fight for/with his friend. So a guy asks him, "Doc what are you doing out here?" Doc replies, "Wyatt Earp is my friend." To that the man replies, "Hell, I got plenty of friends." To which Doc replies, "I don't." By far my favorite line in the entire movie.
I was so caught up in work, that I felt guilty for not showing up for work. That's why I go to work everyday. I don't want to let anyone down...but I'd be letting myself down if I don't spend time with my loved ones. Cherish your relationships. Don't take them for granted, because one day they'll be gone.
Bax,
ReplyDeleteYou make a very valid point. We should cherish and value the connections we make in life...but its never been easy from me. I have always been somehow isolated from everyone else because of what's going on inside me. When we were growing up I wanted to fight all the time cause I was so angry at everything because I was diffrent and didn't know how to be. Before i moved with my dad i lived with my nana in isolated ass northern michigan.
She was cruel and abusive and by the time i moved to the ship I had alot of hate built up for a world that i felt at the time was unfair. My dad was great he helped me alot but he didn't know how to handle every aspect of what was wrong inside me so I was forced to find another way. I tried so very hard to fit in with everyone, but by high school I wanted to dissappear forever so i made it my mission to be invisible as possible. I never really communicated well with my father and stepmom or anyone else for that matter. I thoguht for the longest time that I was alone and noone cared so that's how it was and I went to the army and came back a man...(Or so i thought.) I lived a fast life and did alot of drugs to bury my problems and chased alot of skirts.
When i returned i thought everything was everything but it wasnt't. I won't go into the details of it all but my former stepmom had control over my father in a way I still don't quite get but I guess love will do that to you, as I found out later she helped to create a rift between my father and I and noone thought I would takle off but I did never to return or so i believed.
Long story short My dad and I Never had a fair shot at it if it wasn't one thing it was another...my dad was loved by the entire ship and then some I hated him so much for that because I was only good at making people hate me. It took me forever to understand the truth about myself and my family...there's still shit surfacing.
I know I can tell you this because you were my friend even when I was losing it and we've always been on that level of communication where we had an understanding. i make no excuses but I know I'm not alone now and that people actually care. So...I've changed alot as I'm sure we all have. Peace and god speed my friend...