Facts

#BaxtersBuzz

Friends With New Benefits - The strangest thing happened as I wrote and worked through some issues inside my brain last week: I broke up with some of my friends. Well, it's more like we were dating and then I put them in the "friend zone".  Time is valuable and as our children get older, they meet friends at daycare and even more friends once they get to school. Next thing you know, you go from coordinating events with your old friends, to planning things with the parents of your children's friends! This is not a problem specific to you or me. This is happening all over the country. Parents are becoming more selective with who they invite to parties and many "old" friends are getting left out. A few Fridays ago, I was out with a few of my old friends. My one friend was having a birthday party for his child the following day and he hadn't invited any of us who he was hanging out with (potentially very awkward, right?). Indirectly, we found out that night and it got a little awkward (see, I told you). We didn't make the cut. Plain and simple. Things evolve and we need to be honest with ourselves and honest with the people that we care about. Even if they're not on the short list of invitees anymore. There's still memories to make and fun times to share. Just in a different capacity.

April at the Halls - April will be jam packed. Both Zara and Bryce will have birthdays...and somewhere in there I'll quietly celebrate a birthday too. I'm always so focused on wifey's plans for the children, that I forget that none of this would be possible had I not been born first! Facts. LOL

Areas of Improvement - Work is getting busier, which I like. My efficiency will play a huge role in whether I hit the type of sales numbers that I'm striving for. A schedule for each day, setting aside time for administrative tasks as well as more revenue generating activities. I believe God has me in this role in order for me to strengthen my weakness in organization, while helping the entire department run better. The ideas, I have. The execution is the area for improvement.

Bouncing Off The Walls - I'm such a dork. I'm listening to A Cappella versions of Michael Jackson songs. Let me just say this regarding Michael Jackson: Off The Wall is a superior album to Thriller. The songs are stronger (besides Girlfriend, which I can completely do without) and it was his most important album. Michael was now with Epic Records, and the thought was that the former child star's ship had already sailed. His last solo album with Motown Records, released in 1975 called Forever Michael, did not do well to say the least(why else do you think Motown let him go?).
Off The Wall was his first album with Epic when everyone was ready to write his career off. Can you imagine being called a "has been" at 16 years old?
Needless to say, he knocked it out the park and became an adult artist to be reckoned with his 1979 release Off The Wall. His next album, Thriller released in 1982, became the world's largest selling album of all time in just over a year after its release. Thriller was amazing, yes. But there's no Thriller without Off The Wall. And song for song, it's a better project! Facts.

Back to You - What stage are you in now? An up and coming talent, trying to find your way? A star in your own right, enjoying your success in your field? Or are you currently slumping and letting doubt settle in? It's time for you to lock in, concentrate and work on your Off The Wall. Bounce back and prove it to yourself that you belong. Whether you believe that you can be great or that you have no chance at greatness...you're right.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

2031

#BaxtersBuzz
Every day is different with children. Just when you think you've found some sort of rhythm, a new tooth comes and ruins your good night's sleep. Already in the month of March Zara has lost two teeth and Bryce has a new molar pushing through. How do kids look with one or two adult teeth and the rest baby teeth?? I'm guessing pretty ridiculous.

Know the Difference - I've had a very interesting 12 months or when it comes to work. I've witnessed some of the most inspiring leadership and the absolute worse leadership that I've ever been a part of in my entire 20 years of being an employee. Many of us are in positions not because of some of our most glaring flaws, but in spite of them. But when folks are successful, it's difficult for them to accept they have room for improvement. Sometimes major room! Some will say, "This stubbornness is the reason I've owned my company for so many years." But maybe your stubbornness is the reason your company hasn't been more successful. They never consider that though.

Self Evaluation - Know your strengths and don't be afraid of your weaknesses. There's courage in objectivity. It takes a lot to be honest with yourself. Don't beat yourself up, but understand the areas of improvement and work on them. Maybe start with a book on the subject and go from there. And don't limit it to just a particular aspect of your life. I have work to be done at home as a husband AND as a father. I also have holes in my game at work. The key is doing your very best each day. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz has helped me understand this concept: My best today may be different from my best yesterday. I may have a higher ceiling some days, and a lower floor some other days. Just do the best you can on that day and have peace that you gave the day your all.

Back to the Babies - Zara has her first beauty shop (beauty salon?) appointment this week. Where has the time gone? I remember when the nurse handed her to me, her eyes were wide open. She was so attentive. Those big ole eyes locked in on me. I didn't know it then, but my life would never be the same. She'll be starting kindergarten in the fall and another chapter will begin. Class of 2031. That doesn't even sound like a real number! I guess that makes Bryce class of 2034? Okay, this is too much for this daddy to handle for one night.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

Hello, It's Me

#BaxtersBuzz

As I wind down this Sunday evening, I'm listening to The Isley Brothers, wishing I could be a fly on those walls when the songwriters were crafting these classics. I'm such a fan of words. Which is why I'm back sharing a few with you all.

Chatty Patty - This weekend was interesting because Zara was with her granny. The wife dropped her off on Friday and I picked her up Sunday just before her tennis lessons at noon. Poor Bryce is never invited over to Granny's. He's a busy boy and I don't believe she has faith that she can keep up with him. I pray that changes, because mommy and daddy could use a break from them both! 

In Due Time - As we approach Bryce's second birthday, he's adding all sorts of words to his baby vocabulary. Not the chatty Patty that Zara was/is, but he seems to have a lot to say too. He has been more of a doer than a talker so far, but over the past couple of weeks, he seems to be making huge strides in the verbal department. 

While baby girl was gone this weekend, Bryce took advantage of having mom and dad to himself. He behaved himself when we went out to dinner and he seemed to talk a TON more. He added quite a few words this weekend and has participated more when we attempt to coax him into repeating us. He enjoys doing the opposite of what we ask him to do (that's my boy!), but he's coming around. Typically Bryce says a word, we get excited and beg him to say it again. He then looks at us with zero intentions to grant our request. Wifey was worried about his two year checkup and how many words he'd have. His 18 month checkup was great besides him not having but a few words. He seems to like waiting until the last minute to take care of his business. He's a chip off the old block! I think Wifey can rest easy now. Bryce just needed a tad bit more time and maybe some more attention from us both.

Boys Will Be Boys - I feel like Bryce and I have gotten closer. I know it sounds funny when you're talking about your own kid, but the truth is the truth! He has mellowed some, but more importantly, I've spent more time just hanging and playing with him. It's important for him to let off some steam and be an aggressive little boy. He can play a little rougher with me than the kids at daycare. And even though Zara gets rough, I always make sure neither one of them are going overboard. 

Bottom line is -  All of us, big or small all want to be paid attention to. Zara is so demanding of everyone's attention that she doesn't leave much for anyone else. There are a total of four of us in this house. Bryce, Zara, Wifey and I. We ALL require a certain amount of attention and aren't happy when the others don't meet our requirements. Then there's this elephant in the room... These effin phones! Many times the wife and I want to unwind when we get home and the first thing we do is grab our phones, but the kids haven't seen us all day and they miss us and want some attention. The key is putting that damn phone down and devoting that attention to my children. I have been more intentional about it the past couple of weeks, and it has been helpful. Very helpful actually. In the grand scheme of things, there's nothing as important as spending time with those stinkers. Especially nothing on those damn phones.

Shout out to my big homie. His birthday is today. Peace and blessings, Ant.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

Dinosaurs

Monday, March 27, 2017 
#BaxtersBuzz

Managers and Leaders - My manager is very different from me and I understand how important communication with leadership is. It's not about agreeing all of the time, but more importantly, about understanding the expectations. Our relationship works not because we watch the same shows, share the same sense of humor, or even share the same political views (more on that another time). We have clear expectations of one another and we both encourage honesty. One might say that it's the manager's responsibility to keep communication lines open, but I've suffered in my career by putting too much responsibility in my boss's hands. It is MY responsibility to make things work. And if you're reading this, it is YOUR responsibility. Once you lose, you lose and nobody cares who's fault it was. Have you ever thrown your boss under the bus because of a lack in your performance? How did it work out for you?

We need leaders to encourage us and hold us accountable. There may be 10 different ways to get from A to B, and leaders should have their preference, but allow you to share explore your ideas. Now, I'm obviously talking about within reason! My point is: It shouldn't be "My way or the highway". That's not effective leadership and very few of us respond well to that type of attitude. We carry the burden of articulating the business case to our managers, so they understand our thinking behind a certain technique.

A Fish Out of Water - My three year old daughter had Miss Rachael as a swim teacher. She was nice, patient and encouraging. My daughter started to really take off during these lessons and make huge strides. Then the bittersweet news came: Zara was ready to move up to the next level of swimming, but Miss Rachael didn't have any room in HER class for that next level. Well, no big deal right? Zara is smart and I was sure that any of the teachers would be sufficient. Boy, was I wrong! Our new coach, Mr. Dipstick was NOT a favorite of Zara's. My wife noticed it right away and Zara was acting as if she'd never been in a pool before. These lessons are expensive and that money could be going towards other things and I was contemplating throwing in the towel until summer. Then my wife made a "boss move" and switched classes because Miss Rachael had an opening! My concern was had Dipstick done too much damage to Zara's confidence after a few weeks? Was she going to continue to regress? Wouldn't you know, being back under Rachael's instruction had my daughter do a 180! It was like night and day.

Tantalizing Potential - There are definitely traits that can help you in your path to leadership. You may be born bossy or loud (Maybe you take after your parents), but that doesn't make you a leader. You may be given the title of manager, but that doesn't make you a leader. Everyone that is argumentative shouldn't be a damn lawyer! There's a lot that goes into any role we have. Being a "natural" at something really just means that you have a head start in that area. That doesn't mean that hard work isn't necessary. Would you rather be talented to skilled? The big ball of clay can be tantalizing when you consider all of the things that it could turn into. But it'll never be able to compete with that defined sculpture. Potentially, it could but eventually "potential" needs to be realized. We need to work on our "craft" whatever that may be.

Be Agile - Many of the leaders at my last job were always reading something new. Trying to pick up a new way of going about things. They understood that we must continue to sharpen our tools. Just because you were the sharpest knife in the drawer last year, that doesn't guarantee your spot in 12 months. There are so many dinosaurs, talking about how they used to do things. Talking about what worked for them, as if things haven't changed in the past 15 years. As if things haven't changed in the past 15 months! One of the ways maturity is describe is, "The ability to adapt". Maybe when the hammer was all that you had in your tool-belt, it was needed for every situation. As times have changed, maybe you have 100 tools now. Don't tell me just because the hammer worked 20 years ago, that these other tools aren't necessary or couldn't work better in many instances. Dinosaurs are killing companies around the country. It may not always be obvious, but slowly, their lack of innovation is pouring money down the drain.

Being Your Best - Maybe being a boss isn't something that you'd like to explore. No worries, but work towards mastering your role, whatever that may be. Leadership is something that I'll eventually strive for in a corporate setting, but the timing has to be right. I want more than the title. I want a real opportunity to invoke change.  I'm still working on mastering my current role and work towards being a leader by action, and not necessarily by name. I have a long way to go, but I believe that I'm closer than I even know.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

Knock It Out The Park

February 23, 2017

#BaxtersBuzz

Every day is a new challenge. This week, the kids started a new daycare. The last daycare didn't have enough structure for my pre-schooler and the staff was too inexperienced. This is slightly more expensive, but I believe it will be well worth it. Developing a comfort level with the people who watch your kids can be tough. The wife and I made it seem like our biggest concern was how our daughter would adjust to being at a new place, but we're more anxious than she is! Children are so resilient and much of their insecurities are based on how we as parents respond to things. Some of the kids aren't really playing with her because she's new. She is aware of the shady characters and even pointed one out to my wife and said, "She doesn't want to be my friend." You wouldn't know it by her mood though. She got home and told me she had a  great day.  Maybe Zara knows that the people will act however they want, but that shouldn't change the way we act or the way we feel about ourselves (Us adults can learn a lesson about worrying about what others think). Maybe Zara knows what my wife already know: They'll all eventually fall under her spell of charm and sweetness. THEY just don't know it yet.

January can be feast or famine at my job with regards to generating revenue. Sales numbers really sucked for me. It's like watching a scoreboard and you're getting blown out. Although it is only one game (Or not even an entire game depending how you look at it), it doesn't make you feel any better. Between my terrible sales, my (allegedly) sick kids and our quest to find a new daycare, January was like a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from. It has taken me a few weeks into February to completely remove my head from out of my behind. Momentum is real and can be tough to keep on your side. I realized I had to take a step back, not panic and focus on the things that I can control. Things don't always happen when you want them. Check that. They hardly EVER happen when we think they should. I came back to a job and really wanted to knock it out of the park every single day. That isn't the way this gig works, but admittedly, I've been putting a ton of pressure on myself.

Imagine getting a "do-over". Imagine having the chance to go back to a job. Knowing what you know about the job, coupled with experience from other jobs. What would you do differently? What lessons did you learn? You'll probably be ten times more productive, huh? Exactly my thoughts! LOL. In fairness, I have been doing a very good job, but sales is a "what have you done for me lately," type of position (Now that I think about it, what type of position isn't?!). I have a chance to do some amazing things, but the journey isn't all amazing. The journey will be long and difficult, but that's honestly all that I know. With my struggles in January, God is forcing me to think outside of my comfort zone. Sometimes we can experience TOO MUCH success TOO SOON and forget how we got there. I thank God that I've taken the scenic route to get to this point in my life. But now...it's time to knock it out of the park!

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

A Hint of Spring

February 20, 2017


#BaxtersBuzz


Happy Black History Month. How important is excellence to you? Not "Black" Excellence, but excellence on all accounts? Black History Month is important because excellence achieved by African Americans hasn't always been highlighted. Shout out to everyone striving for excellence.

Rival Watch - Who's your real competition and how do they approach their day? Many of the people we compete with (Whether they know it or not!) should actually be contributors in our mission. The friends that you grew up with aren't taking money out of your pocket because they're making a couple of dollars. There's no law that prevents everyone in your family to make money at the same time. No, they don't (necessarily) think they're better than you because their house/salary is bigger. Your loved ones typically aren't the enemy. We should be collaborating with one another, setting our sights on much higher goals. You'd be surprised who's battling similar problems and the result of you brainstorming together can propel you to levels that seemed too far fetched on your own.


Real Ish - Yes, I'm overwhelmed. I picked an occupation with high turnover and high stress (And high rewards if you're lucky). I have a soon to be 4 year old and a soon to be 1 year old. They put so much pressure on me each day. They don't care, nor should they, about what my work day looks like. They need what they need and they're my priority. Problem is: I'm human and terribly flawed. I don't always have the patience that I should. There are times when I can't hear myself think and I need a moment to myself, and it's not in the cards. My career deserves attention and time. My wife has her needs and deserves my time as well. I have personal interests like my nonprofit or my writing that I'd like more time for. Not to mention my friends and family that helps provide me with guidance to keep going and heading in the right direction. Maintaining those relationships are important to me as well. Sacrifices will have to be made. We just need to make sure that there's balance as to not completely neglect an integral relationship. All great relationships needs cultivation.

 Back to Black History - Black history is empowering. When I was young I thought our history was: Slavery, Harriet Tubman, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr and Jackie Robinson. Black people have been in this country since its inception, and in the face of slavery, oppression and media outlets stories that make us appear like inferior uneducated criminals, we've continued to positively contribute to the beautiful country.


Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

Face Value

Monday, August 8 2016

#BaxtersBuzz

I have decided to do more writing than reading (at the moment anyway). Trying to organize these thoughts while they allow me. My thoughts can be fleeting, but recently they've allowed me to jot a few down. My hope is that as I work through my latest life transitions, I can help someone else through theirs.

I had an interesting day. I inquired about an internal job posting. It sounds like a potential awesome move for me, but then there's a conversation that you have to have with your direct manager prior to officially applying for something else. I'm sure my boss wasn't surprised that I investigated, but it's also an implication that you're not 100% satisfied with your current role. It's a move that I'll pursue because we all need to do what's best for us. Nobody's going to check to ensure you're taken care of! 

When you're looking for an internal job, you can do some research on the manager if you don't know them personally, and attempt to get a feel for their style. It allows you to choose your manager essentially. Many times, bosses are like family: You can't choose them. You get what you get and don't get upset (sorry, I have a 3 year old in my house) It can be the determining factor in your success in that role. 

I am simple in my expectations (just don't ask my wife). My problem is most people are not. I want someone to speak plainly to me and be direct. Simple, right? Not so fast, my friend! I'd be better off looking for a supervisor who talks in circles, provides canned answers (whether they apply to the situation or not), and shows a complete ignorance and lack of empathy for your personal situation. They throw a 'one size fits all' blanket over all issues and hope their shallow responses aren't questioned. 

The description above isn't exclusive to coworkers. We're all so self-centered, even when we want to be genuinely interested, we're too busy taking someone else's situation and telling them how we're going through the same thing! Waiting our turn to speak instead of truly listening. If more people were honest, there would be less lines to read between and less passive aggressiveness. Maybe a few more hurt feelings early on, but less stress because we could take people at their word instead of trying to figure out what they meant! We spend too many damn hours in meetings to only be more confused than we were prior to the meeting. 

I was at Chase Bank a few weeks ago and there was a woman that had a plaque saying "25 years of service." So she's been working at the same company since I was 10 years old. Crazy when you think of it. Crazier when I think about how many jobs I've had since I turned 18. Companies are laying folks off left and right, employees aren't staying at jobs very long and the economy doesn't feel very stable. What a combination! There are folks making good money in many fields and there's never been more opportunities to go into business for yourself. I believe more collaboration between young and old would do us all some good. Mentors are hard to find. And a good mentor is an endangered species!

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.