Forget and Forget?

Baxter's Buzz of the Week

I always joke around about how I have ADD because I am so easily distracted. A few months ago I was watching a segment on 60 minutes and they were talking to these folks who've never forgotten anything in their life! They could pick a particular date in a particular month (Like February 22 in 1997) and remember exactly what happened. Amazing! It must be pretty hard to let go of things too. For example, does your heart ever heal from a breakup? Not sure.

I get so frustrated sometimes because I have so much on my mind and I'll lose my train of thought from time to time. When I think about my wife, it seems like she remembers everything. No, not just the things I do wrong (haha), but she just remembers pretty much everything that someone has said or done to her. Sometimes she gets so focused on the past, it begins to make her upset. She is such a sweetie, that she's also very naive.

I read the paper and see these critics talking about the people they cover on a daily basis. How would I react if I were a politician or an athlete that just got torn apart by a person from the media on t.v. or on some talk show? Would I grant this person an interview the next time they requested? What about a friend or family member who said some things about you that hurt? Should you pick up the phone the next time they call?

People always claim to want to know the truth, but can we really handle it? I believe that wounds can heal, but you truly have to forgive. You need to almost forget, but not totally forget. You should store it in a folder on a flash drive. We shouldn't save it to the desktop, getting fired up every other day because of something that reminds you of the moment is mentioned.

My wife had a falling out with one of her best friends about 3 years ago and they haven't spoken since. They've shared a few facebook messages (3 to be exact). Something like, "I saw this in an old folder and you're the only one who'd appreciate it." These messages were initiated by my wife's friend. Although my wife misses her like crazy, she keeps replaying this falling out in her head and can't bring herself to reach out. Well this past week, my wife's friend reached out again, basically saying that she's been through so much over the past years, she can't even remember why they stopped speaking. She was reaching out this time to let my wife know she missed her and wanted to talk.

Last week, my post talked about communication. I think this problem could have been resolved much sooner if they'd continue to talk. I guess the bottom line is they are taking steps to repair their relationship.

Because of my ahem, lack of concentration at times, coupled with the fact I don't care about certain things, I very rarely remember exactly what someone said to did to me. I always remember how I felt, but if I choose to continue dealing with this person, I try to remove any animosity. Now if I feel the situation is irreconcilable, I'll cut them off and not think twice about. And with my mind in so many places, something will soon take this person's place.

The trick is knowing what's worth working on and what needs to be dismissed. My answer: It's a case by case thing, no equation to plug in to simplify things.