Baxter's Buzz
Today is the big day for my little sister. She graduated last week and today is her Open House. I am so excited for this day for a couple of reasons. One because this is an exciting day for high school grads and I remember how excited I was. Secondly, I'm excited that this will be over. Too many cooks in the kitchen regarding the planning of this Open House. Too many people involved in this planning process with almost no communication. My wife and I had been put in charge of food, but as recent as yesterday, I realized I had no idea of what was going on. Not even with the food! Nobody wants to hear me complain so I won't go into detail, but when I spoke to my sister yesterday. you could hear the frustration in her voice.
Teachable Moments - I used it as a teachable moment. The great thing about life is, it is full of teachable moments, because mistakes are a BIG part of life. So I told my sister how important communication is, and always will be. Immediately she started to defend herself. I said, "This has nothing to do with what you did or didn't do. This is a lesson you can take with you for the rest of your life." I explained that lack of communication creates dysfunction. It's tried and true. Communication isn't just about talking. It's about listening as well.
Is This Thing On? - I have a new boss at work and it remains to be seen how good of a communicator he is. He understands selling and he'll bring a lot of experience to the team, but that is only part of the equation. I don't care how many people you're working with, if everyone doesn't have the same agenda, trouble is near. Even if you're working by yourself, you need to write things out to make sure you have a direction.
Now Here Come the Hard Part - Part of communication is learning how to articulate your feelings and understanding other's perspective. Sounds easy right? Not so fast my friend. Most of us assume that people should know how WE feel. And because it makes sense to us, it should make sense to everyone. I had a sales meeting this past week and a colleague brought a problem to the table to get some advice. He didn't get what he expected and there were some uncomfortable moments in there because of lack of communication. I could give you tens of examples each day, just as you could from your job and home life.
Can I Be Honest? - The question is always: What will I do with this information? The honesty that it takes in order to communicate effectively discourages most people from going that route. We'd rather go home and complain to our family about how someone at work or your significant other "just doesn't get it" instead of helping them to "get it".
It's all a process, but if we can attempt to make small steps towards communicating more effectively, maybe we'd be more happy and less anxious. Just a thought..
I enjoy education and learning immensely; “Teachable Moments”, that must be what they mean when they say, you are never too old to learn. I have had several teachable moments recently and it reminded me that as different as we are so are our needs and expectations.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, teachable moments do not always feel good, but the key is to learn the lesson. So often we reflect on communication and provide bias feedback without sharing the thoughts, improvements, hurts and joys which were involved in our receiving and analysis. When we are receiving feedback, which is also part of the process, we must know what our part is in participating, improving and believing in the communication process.
Although the process may have been dysfunctional, I am sure your sister enjoyed her day when it was all said and done and the communicators at the job shared their perspective and got the process started and/or were enlightened.
Understanding is KEY and that is why it is important for us to keep learning, growing and communicating.
My final thoughts, “If I can affect one positively, than I have done my job.” Keep blogging “B” and embracing the communication process.