A Change Is Gonna Come

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Song of the day  - A Change Is Gonna Come by Sam Cooke.

The story goes that Cooke was inspired to write this song because of the racism that he experienced back in 1963. Cooke made reservations at a hotel for him and his wife, and band members. When he got there to check in,  they were told that there were no vacancies. He was livid and had some words for the staff there. When he was finally talked into leaving the establishment, they were arrested for disturbing the peace. The city was Shreveport, Louisiana. 

In 2019 (not a typo), the mayor of Shreveport formally apologized to Sam Cooke's family and posthumously gave him the key to the city.

It took them 56 years just to apologize (Chris Rock's voice)!

The amount of hateful acts and racism that has been captured on camera since this pandemic is maddening, only adding to the anxiety and depression that many are feeling since covid-19 has hit the scene and changed the way most of us live.

Some of my friends and I have started to do something. We are recording our conversations to hopefully provide a perspective that isn't unique necessarily, but one that the people who will watch it have yet to hear. I pray that people have their own conversations around it and come up with a plan for how to positively impact this society. 

We all have people on our social media, with a lot of opinions. Poking holes in what others are doing, but don't seem to be doing a damn thing themselves. Don't seem to be interested in any action. Just criticism. If we have the same goal in mind, we can get there in different ways, but you have to be moving towards something for me to engage in a conversation. Folks regurgitating some old, stale, talking points that they've heard, but haven't researched are not my type of folks.

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Don't You Worry About A Thing

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Song of the day - Don't You Worry About A Thing by Stevie

 

As the morning of January 1, 2020 was ending, I was ready to make myself a new year Playlist and start the year off right. There were a number of songs that I felt were appropriate. I was listening to a lot of Wale lately, Maze is never too far away. Rick James. A little Bobby Brown. And the greatest of all time, Mr. Stevie Wonder. Now, what is the first song that I'll play for the first day of the new decade? As my eyes surveyed the choices in my newly formed list, Stevie jumped out of the cell phone. Don't You Worry About A Thing felt like words to begin each day of your life. On October 12, of 2020, who would have guessed what this year would bring and the new "worries" that have surfaced?

We decided to send Bryce back to the pre-k program at his old daycare. The same one that had Zara reading and writing before starting kindergarten. With him missing out on seven months of socialization and any formal curriculum, we made the tough decision to send him back. We know how privileged we are to be allowed to make that call on our own. Condolences to all of the folks who've lost loved ones from covid. 

Raising children isn't easy. There's so many mistakes. So many things to worry about. One of the things that I am very sensitive to is raising black children in this world. And I am especially sensitive to what my son will face as a black man. God willing, we all survive this pandemic and things get back to normal. Let's say Bryce enters kindergarten not fully prepared. Socially or academically. Do I believe he'll get the benefit of the doubt. Absolutely not. I will do my best to ensure that he's prepared and putting his best foot forward. 

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5.12.20 Song of the Day

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Song of the Day - "All I Do" by Stevie Wonder. Pound for pound, Stevie may be the greatest artist of all time. Songwriter and performer who introduced new sounds to our world. Stevie has an appropriate song for every mood imaginable. This has nothing to do with him being born in Michigan either!  As I was playing some music the other day, Zara asked me to add this to her playlist. Realizing that she technically didn't have her own playlist, I went to work and started to create one. Growing up, we had an 8-Track cassette player. We had Michael Jackson's Off The Wall and Songs in the Key of Life by Stevie Wonder. That was it! The closest thing we had to a playlist was the radio LOL.  My daughter asked me to put the blue-tooth speaker in the bathroom while she took a bath the other day. I had to listen to Stevie in the living room! Regardless of the way the music is played, good music still remains. Wishing everyone a wonderful day.

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Untitled 5.11.2020

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We should have known that after our Mother's Day miracle, that the rest of the day would be a challenge. Bryce woke up around 5am and in his mind, he was up for the day. He pointed out that the sun was coming out and he wasn't sleepy anymore. I tried to explain to my 4 year that it was Mother's Day and it was very important that he got his rest and let mommy get hers. He (eventually) went back to sleep and stayed asleep until close to 10am. I'm not sure what happens in your house, but we're excited to have kids sleep until 8. Bryce proceeded to give us hell the rest of the day...but he did allow us to sleep in. Thanks Bryce LOL

Song of the Day - Untitled 05|09.21.2014 by Kendrick Lamar. The frustration that Kendrick does such a great job tapping into has been one of his calling cards. Kendrick seems to be working through a lot of things and shares with us his unfinished thoughts. "See I'm living with anxiety, ducking the sobriety" is a simple line, but is very telling. There have been many days during this quarantine that I am looking forward to turning on my music once my work day was over, and pouring myself a drink. If I'm being honest, it didn't start since I've been stuck in the house though. There are times that the only solution that I can think of is to temporarily separate from whatever monkey is on my back.  This is why I write. So that I can feel connected to the thoughts that I attempt to suppress. It can be difficult to face, but it is healthy. After that drink, smoke, or whatever you do to duck your sobriety, you still have to look in the mirror and deal with you. Don't let your extracurricular activities become a crutch.

Crucial Conversations - There are times when we allow someone's words or actions to ruin our mood. This may extend for a day or even longer. Why don't we express our feelings to those people in a manner that inspires them to change? Why does it have to be confrontational, passive aggressive, or withdrawal so often? I have an important meeting today with my boss and I have been dreading it! I've been conflicted about how to address a problem that I have. As I write this, I realize what I must do. And it should be applied to anyone that you have a relationship with. Explain to them how their actions make you feel. Start there and allow them an opportunity to respond. The hope is that a respectful and productive conversation can come from it. This won't always be the case, but acting  solely out of  emotion is typically not going to produce the best results. I don't have an issue with displaying composure, but when I feel like my respectful and composed approach isn't be heard that's when my frustration sets in.

Talking VS. Communicating - Communication isn't how composed you are though. It isn't how well you articulate your thoughts. It isn't even the words that you use. It is how you convey your messages to your audience at the time. Always start with composure and try to remain there, but don't be afraid to show emotion. As long as you're be respectful and getting across the message that you want to communicate. Or what good is it? There's an argument to be made that that occasionally (that doesn't mean ALL the time) you need to step outside of yourself to let folks know you're not to be abused. You're nobody's punching bag or doormat. How well you're able to communicate will play a large part in what your future looks like.

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Mama's Gun (Time's A Wastin)

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As I sit here deciding what to write. My brain tells me, "Just go!" This is the morning of Mother's Day and we are still under quarantine. I'm thinking back to last night and the Erykah Badu and Jill Scott battle.... as I battle allergy season, a newfound (not really new) anxiety, and the weight of this work/home balance. The more confident I become in my role at work, the less comfortable it seems to make others. We're all technically in the same boat, but definitely rowing in different directions. I am not above criticism though. My ego starts to flare up and I believe in my direction and doubt others and their plans for the company's future. Then I realize that I have some important decisions to make about my future.

Song of the Day - "Time's A Wasting" by Erykah Badu. On Mother's Day, it makes sense to select a song from Badu's second studio project, Mama's Gun. She warns that, "time's wasting. Don't you take your time young man. Keep on drifting ain't no telling where you'll land." If my mother was alive when I reached my twenties, I imagine her sharing similar sentiments with me. This album was released at the end of 2000 while I was on the heels of 21 and wondering what was next for me. I tried to convince some of my friends to move out of the country. They looked at me like I was crazy! LOL. I was unsettled and I felt like nothing was really keeping me near home. Part of me wishes that I would have taken my chance out on my own and went to Paris (not sure why that was my choice but that would've been dope!). I settled on a few hours west, to Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Wifey - As I think about foundations, nobody has provided a stronger one for me than my wife. Some of the un-calculated risks that I surely would have taken if she wasn't in the picture, I avoided (whew!). Although I still feel a bit unsettled on occasion, I am so thankful for her and our kids for keeping me grounded in reality. We're figuring out this shit on the fly, and I can't think of anyone I'd rather be experiencing this crazy life with. Love you Mae!

Queens - A special shout out to the women who have played motherly roles in my life at one time or another: All of my older sisters have always provided me with a place to lay my head, a home-cooked meal, and a safe place to vent about things. We share a father so there were private gripes of mine that nobody else knew about. My mother-in-law has always been in my corner and supportive as well. I love her dearly. There are others who have given me a piece of advice here or there, offered perspective, and instilled confidence when my well seemed dry. You never know who God has called to subtly redirect you. The last angel that I can think of (I'm sure there have been more) was a cashier from TJ Maxx back in 2017. I was at a real crossroads in my life and our 5 minute conversation while I was checking out helped me immensely! She was going through a tough time herself and as I offered words of advice, I realized that my issues weren't so bad.

Back to Wifey - Let me just say this: It wasn't a slam dunk that I would do anything very well when she met me. I had the potential, but so do many others. She loved me for me, because I didn't have much else to offer LOL. I think about that often and work to provide a lifestyle and environment that feels secure and settled for us all. Many of our new neighbors are where we aspire to be: They've already raised their children and now their grandchildren are the ages that our kids are now! Since this is our second financial crisis of our adult life, I'm not certain about the future. What I am certain of is that I will do my very best and with God's help we'll be alright.

Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers in the world. And all of the women who are helping to shape the lives of those around them. Whether they know it or not.

#QuarantinedChaos

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The stress that comes with this quarantine is a lot. I am blessed to still have a job and I am grateful to not have more immediate needs at the moment. That doesn't take away from the fact that we have our own issues over here! I have hit another wall. The pressures of being a leader at home and at work, where someone needs something pretty much all day is exhausting. I know my wife is feeling a lot of the same pressure. It's just difficult to take a step back and regroup, in large part because we can't physically leave our homes. I relished my drive home from work each day. Those were my few minutes to let go of the work day, attempting to scrape my plate of anything that didn't deserve to make the trip home with me. Although difficult, I'm forcing myself to get up in the morning to have time for myself before "starting" my day. Time to organize my thoughts before we jump on this fire-spitting dragon called #QuarantinedChaos

Song of the Day - The Rain by The Dramatics. As I review the lyrics of this song, I realize that there aren't many. Three short verses, but they are heavy. The best way to describe this song is: The writer has some things weighing heavily on their mind. They are heartbroken. So much so, they'd rather go outside in the rain to cry than to talk to someone about how they are feeling. How well do you deal with your emotions? What do you do to cope?

Isn't She Lovely? - My baby girl just turned 7. In April of 2013, I started to change. I genuinely believe that my chemical makeup is different and it all started after seeing that little girl's face. When I think about Zara and Bryce, I think about keeping them safe at all costs. I think about not only providing advice that sounds like the right thing to do, but being an example. That means putting that advice into practice personally. Win, lose, or draw, I want to be able to say, "Well it did/didn't work out for me that particular time, but what is most important is the attempt that I made."

Vulnerability...A Superpower - I did not cry before my baby arrived. Period. And then Zara was born...boy, did I make up for lost time! My wife even makes fun of me about it because I've truly changed. My heart is more exposed and I'm more vulnerable. But this new vulnerability has actually made me stronger. I can be more transparent and not hide behind this laissez-fare facade all of the time. I am a much more well rounded person, and I'm not sure when/if that happens without the arrival of my children.

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Who's World Is This?

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I'm starting this week with an edge. Fussing at kids...I mean holding them accountable. They skate by at times, but wifey and I are getting better. More consistent. They absolutely need more attention from us, but that doesn't mean just more tickle monster chases (I'll admit, I enjoy that too). Many times it means doing what you say you're going to do. Whether it's following through, dealing with the negative consequences of their behavior, or taking them for that walk that you promised once you finished that 11am conference call. They need our consistent presence. No getting around it.

Song of the Day - "The World Is Yours" by Nas. It was one of the of his perfectly composed contributions to his classic album, Illmatic, released, on April 19, 1994. The production on this track was dark and airy, creating a juxtaposition between the title, and quite frankly, almost everything else about the song. The World Is Yours wasn't so much trying to communicate despair though. It was just taking you through the number of thoughts that a young black male may have on a given day.

He starts the song with, "I sip the Dom P, watchin' Gandhi 'til I'm charged, then writin' in my book of rhymes, all the words past the margin". Imagine an 18 year old sipping champagne and watching Gandhi. That provides quite the visual, right? But it inspires him to write. So much so that he writes, "all the words past the margin". As a creative thinker, you never know what will inspire a thought. Nas talks about being "caught in the devil's lasso" and how a black cloud over him is making it too dark for him to see tomorrow. If people took the time to pay attention, they would realize that there are many people who feel a sense of hopelessness in their present circumstances. That was prior to this coronavirus outbreak...but even more so now.

But I Called You Last Time - We all FEEL, but maybe have a tough time trying to articulate those feelings. The stress of what's happening in our world doesn't always inspire us to create. Most of time, it weighs on us, telling us to stop whatever we're doing and not push ahead. It tells us to isolate. To lash out at our loved ones. It may even tell us to harm others and even ourselves.
Check on your folks that you haven't heard from. Even if you were the last one to reach out (I know, it gets annoying but now isn't the time to keep score). The world can be cold, but life is amazing! If you're reading this right now, YOU have the opportunity to change someone's day for the better. You have an opportunity to be the friend that you've always wanted to have. You have the opportunity to put your ego aside and collaborate with a group in order to achieve results that you wouldn't be able to achieve alone. What would you like to see more of in the world? Great, now go and contribute those things!

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Another Trip Around the Sun

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So today is my birthday and shit. I made another trip around the sun!

Today was a day of reflection. I wanted to post around mid-morning, but I wasn't done processing this thought. And as I try to enjoy the day, I can't help but reflect on my past. Today I turned 39 years old. I feel pretty good, especially considering that I haven't had the best week of sleep. As a matter of fact, this has gone on for 3-4 weeks if we’re being honest.

Song of the Day - FEEL by Kendrick Lamar. Almost three years ago to the day, Kendrick Lamar dropped his last studio project. One of the songs that always stirred up so many emotions for me was this one. He raps, " I feel like friends been overrated. I feel like the family been fakin. I feel like the feelings are changing." He's clearly trying to process these feelings of resentment, betrayal, and abandonment. Or maybe that's me projecting how I feel? Hmmm…

Looking For Inspiration - I was honored to have three different people who I admire, tell me they wanted to do some type of creative project with me. These were completely unrelated and unsolicited. It was super flattering! I think there's an energy… a momentum that is building. I can almost taste it! I've tossed and turned for months, trying to shake off fears and avoiding any thoughts of what happens the day AFTER tomorrow. “Tomorrow I have a, b, and c to do.” I can put my head down and lock in. “Sorry! Too busy to think about anything past today and tomorrow.” It’s easier that way. If we continue like that, we’ll be on our death bed, regretting that we didn’t do more with the time we had. I think we're all itching to be great and waiting for an excuse to pursue it. Do we have something that we're passionate enough about to push through the monotonous, unexciting part of the journey? That is the million-dollar question! What if I can help move the needle for someone and help spark that inspiration for them? What if they can do the same for me?

Realigning Your Tribe - One of the books that I'm reading is called "Relational Intelligence" by Dr. Dharius Daniels. He talks about the different types of relationships that we have. Friends, associates, or advisers to name a few. He argues that many times when we're disappointed with someone it is because we have them in the wrong category, and therefore, have expectations that are unfair to you and to that other person. As I began reading the book, I kept thinking about different people from MY past and present. Focusing on what roles these people are playing in my life versus what I may be expecting. All real and legitimate things. But as I made my way through the book, I started to think about what role I was playing in other people’s lives. Some, who seemed to remove me from certain positions and changed their expectations of me. It started to become clear: What I was learning about having the right people in the right positions in my life, some of my people had already learned that lesson. It's (typically) not personal. It’s just shedding your old skin before starting your new journey. If we're picking teams in basketball, everyone can't make it. I imagine that if it went from a basketball game to say, a debating competition, the order of selection may have changed and others may not make the cut

Know Your Role - We're not chosen to run every leg of someone else's race. We may be there to pop things off and then pass the baton. Hell, we may only be there to nurse someone back to health when they're injured and not be part of the actual "race" at all. Every skinned knee, broken heart, and tear drop has a story. When you think about it, it’s humbling to be even a small part of someone’s journey. I'm blessed that many of my friends and I still stay in touch. We talk about the old times, cracking jokes and teasing one another. But other times we're talking about our children, spouses, and offering encouragement. It all depends on the particular friend and what they bring to your life currently. That will determine whether you talk about that summer of 2001 or plan for 2021.

Thanks for reading. Please comment and share with others who may appreciate it.

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Easter Weekend and Coronavirus

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Happy Easter! All the days seem to be running together with birthdays and the Easter holiday. Wifey has done such a great job of tying things together. She made sure there were gifts for Bryce's special day. Things are already ordered for Zara's birthday (later this month) and these spoiled little things actually had Easter baskets! Oh yeah, my birthday is in April too, just to add to the dynamic.

Song of the Day -  'I Wonder' by Kanye West. The wife and I were engaged, sharing one car, and living in Lansing, Michigan at this time. Kanye's Graduation album was the soundtrack to my life that year. I "wonder" a lot in general. I ponder. Mostly looking ahead though (suppression of memories is my thing) and rarely backward. Back in 2007-2008, I wondered what would be next for my soon to be wife and I. Wondered how the f I got to Lansing. And I always, and still do wonder what is next for me and the way I provide for the family. Not exactly sure what the future holds, but I know that this blog needs to be a part of my life! Selfishly, I need to document these thoughts to help me process all of the emotions, thoughts, and ideas. The journaling is therapeutic. The hope is to sleep better! I'm  also choosing to share these things, with the hope of inspiring some of you.

You Gon Hurt Your Back - I'm a decent person with a large number (huge number!) of blind spots. Blind spots, meaning, things that I'm not interested in/or aware that others are interested in. Or just flat out ignorant to.  I am so thankful that my wife keeps an eye on things that are hardly ever on my radar. She adds so much "regular people" shit to my life. Most things don't seem like a big deal to me because I didn't experience them. And if there was any disappointment from the past, I tucked it away and kept it moving.

Defense Mechanisms - That's how I've handled most of the things in my life. It helped me growing up. The suppression. The compartmentalization. I'm sure it kept me from losing my mind as a young person, asking questions that either couldn't be answered or answered with harsh truths that I probably wasn't prepared for. I think about many of my friends and the baggage that we carry. God bless the partners and spouses who love us for us. Baggage and all. If you don't think you have baggage, think again. It's not about who has the most, it's about being empathetic and accepting of your partner's weaknesses. If someone is putting up with your crap, try to be more accepting of theirs.

No Bad Energy - As Wifey talks to her father on the phone, I find myself being torn about how to deal with him. Have you ever found out that someone has a problem with you through... someone else!? Last time I spoke with him, I was thanking him for allowing the kids and I to take the hour trip and visit him. I was killing two birds: Giving my wife a break from us and letting the kids see their PaPa (and vice versa). The rest of the story isn't important, but I thought we had a decent day. Come to find out, he did not see it that way after I left. I'm not in the business of forcing people to share with me. I used to be in that business, but with a few folks that I deeply care for. I learned (the hard way) that either people will care enough about you to share any problems they have with you or they won't. I have plenty of things to be thankful for and plenty of relationships to develop. I can't give much energy to bullshit. I'm ALWAYS open to a conversation, but I'm not playing mind reader.

Grateful - During this pandemic, I have been a little embarrassed by our privilege. We're in such a better position than most, that I feel bad for complaining about certain things right now. That's not to say that we don't have issues, but in the grand scheme of things, life is pretty good. Wifey and I are still working and it looks like we both are in decent shape with our employers. But these kids....they are running us into the ground! Our children spend a lot of time with us generally, but this is different. They need what they need and there's nobody to blame, but I know there's more that I can be doing. Many times, it points to more organization from me. A better plan of attack for each day. But as Mike Tyson once said, "Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face." and that's how most days feel LOL.

Health is Wealth - This covid-19 is the scariest shit imaginable. I'm praying for the entire world's healing and I hope folks are staying home and taking this seriously. To the essential workers, thank you! This is like a bad, scariest ass movie. My heart goes out to all of those who have lost loved ones to this.

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Shut Up and Listen - A Sports Take by Deon Carson and Baxter Hall

For Who? For What?

Why do we want our athletes to act differently than we’d advise our friends to?

                Ah, I remember it like it was yesterday. Blake Griffin, an NBA star, was drafted by the Los Angeles Clippers in 2009 and was approaching his first real opportunity at free agency in the summer of 2017. He was in his athletic prime and had plenty of suitors ready to open up their checkbooks for a talent like Blake's. On the first day of free agency, Blake gave the only team he had ever played for, the first attempt to pitch their vision. Oh, and they made a pitch of all pitches! The Clippers brass brought Blake into the Staples Center, pumped in crowd noise, lowered the lights, and forecasted the future as his  jersey was being hung from the rafters.  The PA announcer said: "Tonight, we’re honoring a lifelong Clipper". Amazing, right? How cool. Blake decided shortly thereafter that Los Angeles was the place for him to retire. Let's stop it there for a moment. We’ll get back to that shortly.

I cannot say it loud enough; loyalty in business is almost non-existent and like it or not, sports are a business. For some reason fans only submit to that premise when the owners make the decisions, but when the players are deciding it becomes personal. Fans: You sound crazy!!! Let’s go through a few examples.

Leading up to the 2018 NBA draft Villanova’s Mikal Bridges was projected to be drafted by the Philadelphia 76ers. The same organization that his mother works for in the Human Resources department. As expected, they draft the hometown kid and he and his mother have a very public emotional moment. She keeps her son in their hometown (What mother wouldn’t want that?!) and he gets an opportunity to play for the team he rooted for as a kid. And while Mikal is doing press, donning his new Sixers hat, it is reported on Twitter that he’s just been traded across the country to Phoenix. Across the country (Chris Rock’s voice)! The reporters in the press room knew before he was even notified!  Anger from the fans? Nope not a peep just chalked up to the cost of doing business.

Deon currently resides in Louisiana. Home of the New Orleans Saints, an organization that was so bad their fans showed up to the games wearing paper bags on their heads. Sean Payton and Drew Brees arrive and all that changes with several playoff appearances and a Super Bowl win. A few years ago, they begin to struggle a bit and the fans here commence to call for the coaches’ head and recommend they move on from their quarterback. Loyalty you say? Those same fans would have been up in arms had Drew said he didn’t want to play here anymore.

When Ricky Waters said “For who? For what?” is this what he meant?

Most recently Demar Derozan was traded from Toronto to San Antonio after he was assured by Toronto that the team was moving forward with him at the helm. Now the same media and fans harping on Kawhi Leonard for being a so-called diva for wanting out of San Antonio have been largely silent or on the side of Toronto for acquiring an upgrade. So, you are approving a team making a clear upgrade because it makes sense, but you’re upset at Demarcus Cousins for making a clear upgrade to a better team? Again, you sound crazy!

Back to Blake Griffin and last summer’s free agency. At this time Blake could have left the team and signed elsewhere, taking control of his destiny. Instead he bought into this vision and re-signs with the Clippers… who then traded him six months later! Where are the snake emojis, where are the trader chants, where’s the vitriol?

There was none from you so-called fans there was not a wave; not a dang on ripple. Save that crap when we’re talking about the players choosing to play where they want to play. What about the less heralded players getting traded in the middle of a road trip being denied entry onto the team plane or players on minimum contracts being cut the day before their salary is guaranteed? Then again, you probably do hear but just don’t care.

We, as a society, talk about being anti-establishment, but we actually are the opposite. That's no knock to anyone, it's the only way our society works. If we all were fighting the system, there would be no system. We talk trash about our bosses about being underappreciated and the moment that we can leave and (seemingly) improve our situation, we do. Most of us will just complain with no action, but a great number will take action; like ask for a raise, go after a promotion, or change employers completely. Then we celebrate these moves.

We toast to taking our life into our own hands and seeking a happier and overall more fulfilling situation. We should do these things, but why are we so against our favorite athletes doing the same thing? We should celebrate all employees empowering themselves and doing what makes them happy. Because if given the chance, many of you would do the exact same things that you complain about.

The Big Money Bob Theory

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There are only 4 selling days left in the month. The leader board  is sparse to say the least. There are a couple of folks who have hit their quota, but most of us are still just trying to close the business that we've forecast. Management is nervous, per usual, and because they're only one-trick-ponies, they call everyone into the conference room for a "come to Jesus" meeting. I have a little anxiety just writing this.

"What are you 100% certain will close this month?" They ask as everyone's name is being written on the white board. Each name being more crisp than the last, as management attempts to maintain its manufactured enthusiasm. 100% certain? The honest answer is, "absolutely nothing," but those responses don't go over well in meetings like this. So management encourages you to lie, so they can feel better about the numbers they give upper management (then they can blame YOU when those projected numbers fall flat). So as we all try to tell the least ridiculous lie, pushing just a few chips into the center, here come Big Money Bob. He talks about this huge deal (that's over half of his entire monthly quota) and how he's certain that it will close before month's end (for the record, this is the sixth month in a row that he's made some variation of the same promise, yielding very few results). He's just doing what we all should be doing....in a way.

Staff Meeting Monotony - "Hello, let me tell you how great I am". Whenever certain people interject themselves into a conversation, that's typically all I would hear. Or you have these other people who think that talking, even when you don't have something beneficial to say is the way to go. And even though I think it looks silly, not everyone feels that way. Actually, I'm the silly one. Rolling my eyes at these "clowns" while the VP of our company learns their names and not mine. Damn, was I dumb! 

Self Advocate -  It is important to advocate for yourself. It's important to remind the group (and leadership) of the projects that you are working on and what you bring to the table. The part that I struggle with is how to do it organically. Sometimes there isn't a natural way to make people aware of how awesome you are. I'm often very self conscious about talking about myself too much. I'm wondering if that's a lack of confidence or just being too aware? What if the reason that I don't want to talk is to not make others self conscious (another topic for another day)?  This is something that I have been working on, because you either speak up for yourself or allow others to control your narrative. I've been on THAT side of the aisle too many times, thinking that my hard work would speak for itself, as it fell on deaf ears.

What You Can Control - Maybe it is a weekly meeting with your manager. You ask for feedback, but also give your thoughts on things. This would also be the appropriate time to share some of your ideas or projects that she may not be aware of. We all have so many things to balance during the course of a day, getting on your boss's schedule for 15-30 minutes can make all the difference. 

Preparation Is Key - Be prepared to talk about company, how you can add value, and what you are already doing to add value. 

If you can't get time on their calendar, be prepared with 1-3 items to mention during those dreaded team meetings. Find a way to weave them into the discussion to remind folks that you're still around and engaged. And if you feel that there's no way to smoothly insert a comment into the discussion, do it anyway! It probably won't be as bad as you think.

Self Made - Big Money Bob was a guy I worked with in the past. He was always talking about the deals that he was working on. Sharing these with anyone who'd listen. Very few of them ever came to fruition, but we gave him the name of Big Money Bob, because of the deals that he would talk about. That's like getting the name Speedy because you talk about how fast you are, but you have never won a race! It worked in many ways for Bob though. At least he was being talked about. 

The great poet Shawn Jay-Z Carter asks, "Would you rather be underpaid or overrated?" Sure, too much attention can backfire. There is no fool-proof plan, but the presentation can be more persuasive than the substance IF DONE CORRECTLY.

Hard work doesn't speak for itself. It works! If you want your deeds to be recognized, you better hire an agent or look for opportunities to inform leadership of what you are doing. Odds are that you will be overlooked otherwise.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

Shut Up and Listen - A Sports Take by Deon Carson

When Did We Start Caring?
How our current NBA media and fan base is making more excuses than ever for its players

Since when did you care? At what point did you begin to care about athletes being tired?

At what point did “Super Teams” become bad? Since when did injuries count against the team

that won? I can assure you that historically you never cared about any of these things, not one

time in the history of sports.

Oh, you don’t believe me? The Showtime Lakers were a super team. Bird's Celtics were a Super Team. Zeke and the Pistons tried to build a super team when he asked management to acquire Adrian Dantley after he led the NBA in scoring. When Boston traded for Ray Allen and KG the media called them the Big 3, but they were, however short lived, a super team. The thing is they were never called a super team even though they pretty much had the odds in their favor to make it to the finals every year. The term "super team" did not exist and furthermore it never mattered until the players took the reins in assembling them. It’s a made up term by a weak media and it’s re-echoed by weak fans.

So now injuries “taint” championships? When did this become part of the narrative? In the 1983 NBA playoffs James Worthy injures his leg and misses the finals against the Sixers. Have we taken that into consideration when talking about that Philly team? No, we simply call it one of the best playoff runs in history. No caveat no excuses just credit for winning. In the 1988 NBA Finals Isiah Thomas hurts his ankle against the Lakers then proceeded to put on a historic performance before being rendered useless in the closeout game. Do we say yeah Magic has five but that fifth ring is tainted because Zeke got hurt? No, we simply call Magic a five-time NBA champ. No caveat or excuse just credit for winning. Championship 1989 Magic Johnson injures his hamstring vs the Pistons. Do we say Zeke has 1.5 rings because that one is tainted? No, we say Bad Boys Back to Back champs. No caveat or excuse just credit for winning.

During the 1991 NBA finals both Worthy and Scott were injured vs the Bulls. Do we say yeah Mike has six rings but he was lucky on that first one? No, we say Mike is 6 for 6 in NBA finals case closed. No caveat or excuse just credit for winning. In the 2003 playoffs the San Antonio Spurs got breaks against two separate teams. Against Dallas Dirk got hurt in game 3 and missed the rest of the series and against Phoenix Joe Johnson misses the series with an eye injury (not to mention the

suspensions). Neither series was a gimme, but do we say yeah Timmy has five rings but in 2003

he got lucky? No, we simply call him a five-time NBA champion. No caveat or excuse just credit for winning.

And let’s not forget this season Boston without Kyrie and Gordon take Cleveland to game 7 of the ECF. Do we say LeBron made it to 8 straight finals but hey he’s lucky on the 8th one? No, we say LeBron James has made it to 8 straight NBA finals that is an amazing feat. No caveats or excuses just credit for the feat.

Injuries have never tainted a championship. That is a new narrative; a weak excuse from weak fans and an even weaker media. These new rules and caveats make the fans look weaker than ever, and I truly believe it makes the athletes weak too. Now the players have the gall to use the same lame excuses that you fans use. They tweet them, they even spew them in interviews and it’s your fault. You’ve made them weak, you are messing up the game. You are disregarding logical debate with your circular reasoning. Thanks zealots have a nice day. No not really.

Not Cool

#BaxtersBuzz

I don't want to spend much time revising and reworking this. I want this to just flow. It is Thursday morning and I feel the best that I've felt all week. The most coherent.

On Sunday, while at tennis, Zara had a meltdown. Something that was very unlike her. She was dejected and confidence was leaking from her pony tails, to the pink Nikes on her feet. Not my boisterous and self assured Zara. This girl had her head down and felt every mistake was the end of life as she knew it.
It was concerning because this was a repeat of last week at tennis. I was disturbed by the situation and unsure of how to resolve it. I immediately called the wife to share my concerns and brainstorm a solution. Bryce, our two year old commands a lot of attention. A LOT. Is this diminishing our focus? Has Zara been neglected in some way as we work on getting Brycie to use more words and to stop destroying our house? Have we been too hard on her and not allowed her to be a child? Is our tolerance too low for her (newly five!) five year old behavior? Are we expecting her to give us a break because we feel that our bandwidth has reached its limit? Do we have a realistic set of expectations when it comes to raising two small children? Are we making enough sacrifices?

When wifey is talking to me and I'm laughing at a thread on Twitter....not cool, right? Maybe she rolls her eyes, but doesn't get upset because she did the same thing to me earlier. Or maybe she has gotten used to getting only part of my attention. But there's a moment where I've chosen to put some strangers and their comments above my wife's words and she can feel it. She can tell that I'm not completely present. How do my children feel when I'm only partially listening to them? How does my extremely observant daughter interpret my absence? If my family is truly the most important thing in my life, why aren't my actions aligning with my feelings? How do I feel when I don't have someone's undivided attention? Not cool.

On Sunday I decided that I'd be taking myself away from social media for the week. I wanted to ensure that I was more mentally present at home and my hope was that my mind would be less full of clutter. I owe it to my family. I've prayed so long for them, so why do I take them for granted at times??

Kanye West has tens of millions of people following his every move and providing feedback. How many people are truly invested in me and my loved ones? What deserves more of my attention? If I only had 24 hours to live, how much of that time would I dedicate to my family versus social media? As I mark off my proverbial checklist after each day, what do I want to see? I can't imagine social media being anywhere towards the top of that list.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

Facts

#BaxtersBuzz

Friends With New Benefits - The strangest thing happened as I wrote and worked through some issues inside my brain last week: I broke up with some of my friends. Well, it's more like we were dating and then I put them in the "friend zone".  Time is valuable and as our children get older, they meet friends at daycare and even more friends once they get to school. Next thing you know, you go from coordinating events with your old friends, to planning things with the parents of your children's friends! This is not a problem specific to you or me. This is happening all over the country. Parents are becoming more selective with who they invite to parties and many "old" friends are getting left out. A few Fridays ago, I was out with a few of my old friends. My one friend was having a birthday party for his child the following day and he hadn't invited any of us who he was hanging out with (potentially very awkward, right?). Indirectly, we found out that night and it got a little awkward (see, I told you). We didn't make the cut. Plain and simple. Things evolve and we need to be honest with ourselves and honest with the people that we care about. Even if they're not on the short list of invitees anymore. There's still memories to make and fun times to share. Just in a different capacity.

April at the Halls - April will be jam packed. Both Zara and Bryce will have birthdays...and somewhere in there I'll quietly celebrate a birthday too. I'm always so focused on wifey's plans for the children, that I forget that none of this would be possible had I not been born first! Facts. LOL

Areas of Improvement - Work is getting busier, which I like. My efficiency will play a huge role in whether I hit the type of sales numbers that I'm striving for. A schedule for each day, setting aside time for administrative tasks as well as more revenue generating activities. I believe God has me in this role in order for me to strengthen my weakness in organization, while helping the entire department run better. The ideas, I have. The execution is the area for improvement.

Bouncing Off The Walls - I'm such a dork. I'm listening to A Cappella versions of Michael Jackson songs. Let me just say this regarding Michael Jackson: Off The Wall is a superior album to Thriller. The songs are stronger (besides Girlfriend, which I can completely do without) and it was his most important album. Michael was now with Epic Records, and the thought was that the former child star's ship had already sailed. His last solo album with Motown Records, released in 1975 called Forever Michael, did not do well to say the least(why else do you think Motown let him go?).
Off The Wall was his first album with Epic when everyone was ready to write his career off. Can you imagine being called a "has been" at 16 years old?
Needless to say, he knocked it out the park and became an adult artist to be reckoned with his 1979 release Off The Wall. His next album, Thriller released in 1982, became the world's largest selling album of all time in just over a year after its release. Thriller was amazing, yes. But there's no Thriller without Off The Wall. And song for song, it's a better project! Facts.

Back to You - What stage are you in now? An up and coming talent, trying to find your way? A star in your own right, enjoying your success in your field? Or are you currently slumping and letting doubt settle in? It's time for you to lock in, concentrate and work on your Off The Wall. Bounce back and prove it to yourself that you belong. Whether you believe that you can be great or that you have no chance at greatness...you're right.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

2031

#BaxtersBuzz
Every day is different with children. Just when you think you've found some sort of rhythm, a new tooth comes and ruins your good night's sleep. Already in the month of March Zara has lost two teeth and Bryce has a new molar pushing through. How do kids look with one or two adult teeth and the rest baby teeth?? I'm guessing pretty ridiculous.

Know the Difference - I've had a very interesting 12 months or when it comes to work. I've witnessed some of the most inspiring leadership and the absolute worse leadership that I've ever been a part of in my entire 20 years of being an employee. Many of us are in positions not because of some of our most glaring flaws, but in spite of them. But when folks are successful, it's difficult for them to accept they have room for improvement. Sometimes major room! Some will say, "This stubbornness is the reason I've owned my company for so many years." But maybe your stubbornness is the reason your company hasn't been more successful. They never consider that though.

Self Evaluation - Know your strengths and don't be afraid of your weaknesses. There's courage in objectivity. It takes a lot to be honest with yourself. Don't beat yourself up, but understand the areas of improvement and work on them. Maybe start with a book on the subject and go from there. And don't limit it to just a particular aspect of your life. I have work to be done at home as a husband AND as a father. I also have holes in my game at work. The key is doing your very best each day. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz has helped me understand this concept: My best today may be different from my best yesterday. I may have a higher ceiling some days, and a lower floor some other days. Just do the best you can on that day and have peace that you gave the day your all.

Back to the Babies - Zara has her first beauty shop (beauty salon?) appointment this week. Where has the time gone? I remember when the nurse handed her to me, her eyes were wide open. She was so attentive. Those big ole eyes locked in on me. I didn't know it then, but my life would never be the same. She'll be starting kindergarten in the fall and another chapter will begin. Class of 2031. That doesn't even sound like a real number! I guess that makes Bryce class of 2034? Okay, this is too much for this daddy to handle for one night.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

Hello, It's Me

#BaxtersBuzz

As I wind down this Sunday evening, I'm listening to The Isley Brothers, wishing I could be a fly on those walls when the songwriters were crafting these classics. I'm such a fan of words. Which is why I'm back sharing a few with you all.

Chatty Patty - This weekend was interesting because Zara was with her granny. The wife dropped her off on Friday and I picked her up Sunday just before her tennis lessons at noon. Poor Bryce is never invited over to Granny's. He's a busy boy and I don't believe she has faith that she can keep up with him. I pray that changes, because mommy and daddy could use a break from them both! 

In Due Time - As we approach Bryce's second birthday, he's adding all sorts of words to his baby vocabulary. Not the chatty Patty that Zara was/is, but he seems to have a lot to say too. He has been more of a doer than a talker so far, but over the past couple of weeks, he seems to be making huge strides in the verbal department. 

While baby girl was gone this weekend, Bryce took advantage of having mom and dad to himself. He behaved himself when we went out to dinner and he seemed to talk a TON more. He added quite a few words this weekend and has participated more when we attempt to coax him into repeating us. He enjoys doing the opposite of what we ask him to do (that's my boy!), but he's coming around. Typically Bryce says a word, we get excited and beg him to say it again. He then looks at us with zero intentions to grant our request. Wifey was worried about his two year checkup and how many words he'd have. His 18 month checkup was great besides him not having but a few words. He seems to like waiting until the last minute to take care of his business. He's a chip off the old block! I think Wifey can rest easy now. Bryce just needed a tad bit more time and maybe some more attention from us both.

Boys Will Be Boys - I feel like Bryce and I have gotten closer. I know it sounds funny when you're talking about your own kid, but the truth is the truth! He has mellowed some, but more importantly, I've spent more time just hanging and playing with him. It's important for him to let off some steam and be an aggressive little boy. He can play a little rougher with me than the kids at daycare. And even though Zara gets rough, I always make sure neither one of them are going overboard. 

Bottom line is -  All of us, big or small all want to be paid attention to. Zara is so demanding of everyone's attention that she doesn't leave much for anyone else. There are a total of four of us in this house. Bryce, Zara, Wifey and I. We ALL require a certain amount of attention and aren't happy when the others don't meet our requirements. Then there's this elephant in the room... These effin phones! Many times the wife and I want to unwind when we get home and the first thing we do is grab our phones, but the kids haven't seen us all day and they miss us and want some attention. The key is putting that damn phone down and devoting that attention to my children. I have been more intentional about it the past couple of weeks, and it has been helpful. Very helpful actually. In the grand scheme of things, there's nothing as important as spending time with those stinkers. Especially nothing on those damn phones.

Shout out to my big homie. His birthday is today. Peace and blessings, Ant.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

Dinosaurs

Monday, March 27, 2017 
#BaxtersBuzz

Managers and Leaders - My manager is very different from me and I understand how important communication with leadership is. It's not about agreeing all of the time, but more importantly, about understanding the expectations. Our relationship works not because we watch the same shows, share the same sense of humor, or even share the same political views (more on that another time). We have clear expectations of one another and we both encourage honesty. One might say that it's the manager's responsibility to keep communication lines open, but I've suffered in my career by putting too much responsibility in my boss's hands. It is MY responsibility to make things work. And if you're reading this, it is YOUR responsibility. Once you lose, you lose and nobody cares who's fault it was. Have you ever thrown your boss under the bus because of a lack in your performance? How did it work out for you?

We need leaders to encourage us and hold us accountable. There may be 10 different ways to get from A to B, and leaders should have their preference, but allow you to share explore your ideas. Now, I'm obviously talking about within reason! My point is: It shouldn't be "My way or the highway". That's not effective leadership and very few of us respond well to that type of attitude. We carry the burden of articulating the business case to our managers, so they understand our thinking behind a certain technique.

A Fish Out of Water - My three year old daughter had Miss Rachael as a swim teacher. She was nice, patient and encouraging. My daughter started to really take off during these lessons and make huge strides. Then the bittersweet news came: Zara was ready to move up to the next level of swimming, but Miss Rachael didn't have any room in HER class for that next level. Well, no big deal right? Zara is smart and I was sure that any of the teachers would be sufficient. Boy, was I wrong! Our new coach, Mr. Dipstick was NOT a favorite of Zara's. My wife noticed it right away and Zara was acting as if she'd never been in a pool before. These lessons are expensive and that money could be going towards other things and I was contemplating throwing in the towel until summer. Then my wife made a "boss move" and switched classes because Miss Rachael had an opening! My concern was had Dipstick done too much damage to Zara's confidence after a few weeks? Was she going to continue to regress? Wouldn't you know, being back under Rachael's instruction had my daughter do a 180! It was like night and day.

Tantalizing Potential - There are definitely traits that can help you in your path to leadership. You may be born bossy or loud (Maybe you take after your parents), but that doesn't make you a leader. You may be given the title of manager, but that doesn't make you a leader. Everyone that is argumentative shouldn't be a damn lawyer! There's a lot that goes into any role we have. Being a "natural" at something really just means that you have a head start in that area. That doesn't mean that hard work isn't necessary. Would you rather be talented to skilled? The big ball of clay can be tantalizing when you consider all of the things that it could turn into. But it'll never be able to compete with that defined sculpture. Potentially, it could but eventually "potential" needs to be realized. We need to work on our "craft" whatever that may be.

Be Agile - Many of the leaders at my last job were always reading something new. Trying to pick up a new way of going about things. They understood that we must continue to sharpen our tools. Just because you were the sharpest knife in the drawer last year, that doesn't guarantee your spot in 12 months. There are so many dinosaurs, talking about how they used to do things. Talking about what worked for them, as if things haven't changed in the past 15 years. As if things haven't changed in the past 15 months! One of the ways maturity is describe is, "The ability to adapt". Maybe when the hammer was all that you had in your tool-belt, it was needed for every situation. As times have changed, maybe you have 100 tools now. Don't tell me just because the hammer worked 20 years ago, that these other tools aren't necessary or couldn't work better in many instances. Dinosaurs are killing companies around the country. It may not always be obvious, but slowly, their lack of innovation is pouring money down the drain.

Being Your Best - Maybe being a boss isn't something that you'd like to explore. No worries, but work towards mastering your role, whatever that may be. Leadership is something that I'll eventually strive for in a corporate setting, but the timing has to be right. I want more than the title. I want a real opportunity to invoke change.  I'm still working on mastering my current role and work towards being a leader by action, and not necessarily by name. I have a long way to go, but I believe that I'm closer than I even know.

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

Knock It Out The Park

February 23, 2017

#BaxtersBuzz

Every day is a new challenge. This week, the kids started a new daycare. The last daycare didn't have enough structure for my pre-schooler and the staff was too inexperienced. This is slightly more expensive, but I believe it will be well worth it. Developing a comfort level with the people who watch your kids can be tough. The wife and I made it seem like our biggest concern was how our daughter would adjust to being at a new place, but we're more anxious than she is! Children are so resilient and much of their insecurities are based on how we as parents respond to things. Some of the kids aren't really playing with her because she's new. She is aware of the shady characters and even pointed one out to my wife and said, "She doesn't want to be my friend." You wouldn't know it by her mood though. She got home and told me she had a  great day.  Maybe Zara knows that the people will act however they want, but that shouldn't change the way we act or the way we feel about ourselves (Us adults can learn a lesson about worrying about what others think). Maybe Zara knows what my wife already know: They'll all eventually fall under her spell of charm and sweetness. THEY just don't know it yet.

January can be feast or famine at my job with regards to generating revenue. Sales numbers really sucked for me. It's like watching a scoreboard and you're getting blown out. Although it is only one game (Or not even an entire game depending how you look at it), it doesn't make you feel any better. Between my terrible sales, my (allegedly) sick kids and our quest to find a new daycare, January was like a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from. It has taken me a few weeks into February to completely remove my head from out of my behind. Momentum is real and can be tough to keep on your side. I realized I had to take a step back, not panic and focus on the things that I can control. Things don't always happen when you want them. Check that. They hardly EVER happen when we think they should. I came back to a job and really wanted to knock it out of the park every single day. That isn't the way this gig works, but admittedly, I've been putting a ton of pressure on myself.

Imagine getting a "do-over". Imagine having the chance to go back to a job. Knowing what you know about the job, coupled with experience from other jobs. What would you do differently? What lessons did you learn? You'll probably be ten times more productive, huh? Exactly my thoughts! LOL. In fairness, I have been doing a very good job, but sales is a "what have you done for me lately," type of position (Now that I think about it, what type of position isn't?!). I have a chance to do some amazing things, but the journey isn't all amazing. The journey will be long and difficult, but that's honestly all that I know. With my struggles in January, God is forcing me to think outside of my comfort zone. Sometimes we can experience TOO MUCH success TOO SOON and forget how we got there. I thank God that I've taken the scenic route to get to this point in my life. But now...it's time to knock it out of the park!

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

A Hint of Spring

February 20, 2017


#BaxtersBuzz


Happy Black History Month. How important is excellence to you? Not "Black" Excellence, but excellence on all accounts? Black History Month is important because excellence achieved by African Americans hasn't always been highlighted. Shout out to everyone striving for excellence.

Rival Watch - Who's your real competition and how do they approach their day? Many of the people we compete with (Whether they know it or not!) should actually be contributors in our mission. The friends that you grew up with aren't taking money out of your pocket because they're making a couple of dollars. There's no law that prevents everyone in your family to make money at the same time. No, they don't (necessarily) think they're better than you because their house/salary is bigger. Your loved ones typically aren't the enemy. We should be collaborating with one another, setting our sights on much higher goals. You'd be surprised who's battling similar problems and the result of you brainstorming together can propel you to levels that seemed too far fetched on your own.


Real Ish - Yes, I'm overwhelmed. I picked an occupation with high turnover and high stress (And high rewards if you're lucky). I have a soon to be 4 year old and a soon to be 1 year old. They put so much pressure on me each day. They don't care, nor should they, about what my work day looks like. They need what they need and they're my priority. Problem is: I'm human and terribly flawed. I don't always have the patience that I should. There are times when I can't hear myself think and I need a moment to myself, and it's not in the cards. My career deserves attention and time. My wife has her needs and deserves my time as well. I have personal interests like my nonprofit or my writing that I'd like more time for. Not to mention my friends and family that helps provide me with guidance to keep going and heading in the right direction. Maintaining those relationships are important to me as well. Sacrifices will have to be made. We just need to make sure that there's balance as to not completely neglect an integral relationship. All great relationships needs cultivation.

 Back to Black History - Black history is empowering. When I was young I thought our history was: Slavery, Harriet Tubman, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr and Jackie Robinson. Black people have been in this country since its inception, and in the face of slavery, oppression and media outlets stories that make us appear like inferior uneducated criminals, we've continued to positively contribute to the beautiful country.


Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.

Face Value

Monday, August 8 2016

#BaxtersBuzz

I have decided to do more writing than reading (at the moment anyway). Trying to organize these thoughts while they allow me. My thoughts can be fleeting, but recently they've allowed me to jot a few down. My hope is that as I work through my latest life transitions, I can help someone else through theirs.

I had an interesting day. I inquired about an internal job posting. It sounds like a potential awesome move for me, but then there's a conversation that you have to have with your direct manager prior to officially applying for something else. I'm sure my boss wasn't surprised that I investigated, but it's also an implication that you're not 100% satisfied with your current role. It's a move that I'll pursue because we all need to do what's best for us. Nobody's going to check to ensure you're taken care of! 

When you're looking for an internal job, you can do some research on the manager if you don't know them personally, and attempt to get a feel for their style. It allows you to choose your manager essentially. Many times, bosses are like family: You can't choose them. You get what you get and don't get upset (sorry, I have a 3 year old in my house) It can be the determining factor in your success in that role. 

I am simple in my expectations (just don't ask my wife). My problem is most people are not. I want someone to speak plainly to me and be direct. Simple, right? Not so fast, my friend! I'd be better off looking for a supervisor who talks in circles, provides canned answers (whether they apply to the situation or not), and shows a complete ignorance and lack of empathy for your personal situation. They throw a 'one size fits all' blanket over all issues and hope their shallow responses aren't questioned. 

The description above isn't exclusive to coworkers. We're all so self-centered, even when we want to be genuinely interested, we're too busy taking someone else's situation and telling them how we're going through the same thing! Waiting our turn to speak instead of truly listening. If more people were honest, there would be less lines to read between and less passive aggressiveness. Maybe a few more hurt feelings early on, but less stress because we could take people at their word instead of trying to figure out what they meant! We spend too many damn hours in meetings to only be more confused than we were prior to the meeting. 

I was at Chase Bank a few weeks ago and there was a woman that had a plaque saying "25 years of service." So she's been working at the same company since I was 10 years old. Crazy when you think of it. Crazier when I think about how many jobs I've had since I turned 18. Companies are laying folks off left and right, employees aren't staying at jobs very long and the economy doesn't feel very stable. What a combination! There are folks making good money in many fields and there's never been more opportunities to go into business for yourself. I believe more collaboration between young and old would do us all some good. Mentors are hard to find. And a good mentor is an endangered species!

Read more. Write more. Love more. Pray more. Live more.