How Will You Be Remembered

Baxter's Buzz

Life is tough. Its full of ups and downs. Regrets and awesome memories. Most of the time, the memories are attached to relationships. Friends, family, boyfriends, girlfriends, and random people that we've connected with temporarily (open for interpretation). When it is all said and done, and folks get the news that you have died and passed away, what will they remember about you?

Those memories will be based on their relationship with you. Sometimes we are chasing these tangible things, disregarding the bonds that we have with people close to us. A simple gesture by us could mean the world to someone else.


On Friday, I was able to get my first student signed up for a program at my job (great news!), while my granny-in-law was being rushed to the hospital (awful news). Bittersweet is not the appropriate word. Bitter is the word. Granny, is one of the sweetest people in the world. I give my mother-in-law all of the credit for why my wife is so sweet, but Granny deserves much of the credit also.


So the following day, I went with the Mrs. to visit Granny. She was not looking good at all. She's weak and not eating much. She's been diagnosed with cancer.

While on the way home from the hospital, my twin nephews called to invite me to their birthday party, which happened to be less than a mile from where I was. We decided to stop by, sing happy birthday, and shoot the breeze with my sister and the rest of the adults that were in attendance. I was able to spend a little time with one of nephews, Blake. He calls me quite often and does his best to let me know what's going on in his world.

Their mom, my sister Lynne, is who I lived with as a young teen, until I went away to school. We've never been terribly close, but even her and I got a chance to kick it Saturday for a few minutes. I stood in the kitchen while she finished up dinner. As she talked to me, I realized something...Lynne misses me! It dawned on my because every time we talk, she shares her thoughts. Rarely do we have small talk. It is typically some heavy stuff that's on her mind, and I am always blown away. Blown away because we speak so rarely, not due to anything else. I think about how I'd like to be in my nephews' lives more than I am and maybe my sister needs my support as well. This is going on minutes after we left Granny in the hospital. It was two extremes: Someone who has lived such a long life, winding down; and two 11 year old kids, full of energy, just learning about this world and themselves.



I sat in the kitchen while my mother-in-law shared news with my wife and I. All three of us were shaken up. It had always been my wife, Shayla, her mom...and Granny. They've done everything together and the thought of losing her was too much to contemplate.

Relationships are what we're on earth for. I want to have more meaningful relationships with my loved ones before its my time to go. Relationships similar to what my wife and mother-in-law share. So as I live in this moment, closer in age to my 11 year old nephews than Granny, who's been on this earth over 86 years, I want to have the energy of the kids, and the wisdom of the elders. I want to be building meaningful relationships the entire way, so people will have something to remember me by.

Note: This post was mostly written over a week ago. Granny is still with us and we thank God that she is in very little pain. The sadness that we feel as we think about life without her is important because of what she has meant to us (especially my wife and mother-in-law). Even though we are sad, the fond memories allows us to smile through our tears.

I've Got to be Me (Part 2)

Buzz of the Day

I thought I knew a little about Sammy Davis Jr., but I knew very little. He came up in the 1940's and 50's. Years before the Civil Rights Movement. He headlined in places where he couldn't even walk in the front door at. I've started to read more about him online and I am very impressed with his courage. The man was talented! He sang and danced. He was an actor and musician. But I'm more impressed with his courage. The things he had to endure during those times...He paved the way for African American entertainers.


I am also very impressed with Frank Sinatra. He helped Davis Jr. break some of those barriers, by putting himself on the line because he knew the discrimination was wrong. Sinatra had a great deal of influence and he used it for good and bad. I think influence is a wonderful thing. And if we have just a little, or Chairman of the Board type of influence, we should do our best to help others.

I've Got to be Me (Part 1)

This is a post from about 1 year ago. Happy Holidays and Enjoy

Buzz of the Day

A couple of months ago, I watched the 'Rat Pack' movie. It was released in 1998 and Ray Liotta played Frank Sinatra and Don Cheadle played Sammy Davis Jr. As some of you may know, I love biographies. I love stories. Especially true ones. All of these movie stars and entertainers are people, like you and I. Most of them have a talent or skill that most of us "regular" folks don't. But most of them also have a tremendous amount of self confidence and a tremendous amount of drive.

Don't forget discipline. We see the wonderful performances on the football field or basketball court, but we don't see the hours with a personal trainer in the off season, the practices and the film study. We attend the outstanding concert, but we don't see the months of rehearsal.

We may not have the talent, but what keeps us from being as successful as we could be, is the lack of drive and discipline. It's the classic argument of nature vs. nurture. Now I don't think I could be the next American Idol if I had more drive, but maybe I'd be in a better position in my chosen profession.

I think experts say that geniuses use about 15% of their brain. What percentage of effort do we use daily in our lives? How much more do you have to give?