Shut Up and Listen!

by Deon Carson

I have a problem with some of the criticism toward Carmelo Anthony, they say he doesn’t make his team better they also say he can’t win well I beg to differ. From the 1995-1996 season through the 2002-2003 season Denver DID NOT make the playoffs as a matter of fact the season prior to drafting Carmelo they won a grand total of 17 games. Melo's rookie year they make the playoffs and made it every year after that. Some will point out that he lost in the 1^st round 7 of eight years while in Denver. During that time Carmelo lost to the Spurs and the Lakers 5 times, once to Minnesota, once to Utah, and once to the Clippers. Out of all of those series he may have had the better team once. Since coming to NY he lost to Boston, and Miami I’m no genius but I doubt he was favored in either of those series. Not to mention NY had not won one a playoff game in ten years prior to him dropping 40 on the Heat this year.

Now the media is saying the pressure is on him to “win now” unless I’ve been asleep and the Knicks have Chris Paul, or Dwight or Bynum there is no pressure on him to “win now” because he is not on a championship team. Duuuh. The Knicks are a middle of the road team, and if I blame Carmelo for anything (other than playing no D) it’s forcing a trade to a team that has 2 rings in its’ history with no real young talent, and no cap space.

Love and Marriage

I love my wife and today, (like every single day, several times a day) I told her as much. She gave me a strange look. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked her. She replied, "You'll be telling me how crazy I drive you before today is over". That is true. She does drive me crazy sometimes. As I'm sure I drive her crazy. I made a vow to take the good with the bad. The bitter with the sweet. And if even given the choice, I'd stay where I am. Both of those statements can be true...even at the same time.

I was  hanging out with a couple of friends of mine and one of them happens to be single. Through out this blog I'll refer to him as "My single friend" or a similar distinction. We just hung out and talked like we often do. We laugh and joke, reminisce about old times and vent about jobs and significant others. As we went through our typical routine, my single friend said, "I never hear anything good about marriage". I was actually disappointed. I feel like my outlook on marriage is pretty good. And I feel like I communicated the positives more often than the latter, but apparently I don't communicate well enough to encourage my single friend to consider getting married. I have some friends that are super negative when it comes to their outlook on marriage and I started to think, "Maybe my single friend is not discouraged by me, per se, and maybe it's those other guys". And maybe just a little because of me.

I try to be honest with everyone. Nothing is great all the time and I don't waste time lying to my friends trying to convince them that my life is perfect and I don't waste time telling acquaintances about any problems I may be having. Most acquaintances don't care if you're having a bad day or not so there's no need going into detail with them, and your friends don't deserved to be lied to (One of the problems that you run into is friends who want to know your dirt to make them feel better about themselves, but we'll get to that at a later time).

Many would say I got married late. But at the age of 27, many more people would say that I got married too soon. In my wife I have my best friend. And like any best friends, we laugh more than argue, we smile more than we frown, and we chit-chat more than we give each other the silent treatment.

Between all of the television shows and stand-up comedians, bad-mouthing marriage, it has become commonplace to joke about how much your wife or husband sucks. In a way, we could be shaping unmarried people's views in a negative manner (Along with the near 50% divorce rate). Fact: Marriage is work. There are definitely days where I question my decision to get married, but for every 1 day I question marriage, there are 25 days where I am so thankful that God blessed me with my wonderful wife and can't imagine not being with her. I guess I need to be more mindful and communicate those things more and focus less on making Al Bundy type of jokes.

This is dedicated to one of my newest friends who was just engaged recently.

Shut Up and Listen!

by Deon Carson

People still don’t get it PED’s are a problem in Boxing. When Floyd Mayweather Jr first implemented his “anyone who fights me has to test” system people ostracized him calling him afraid. But after Andre Berto, Lamont Peterson, Antonio Tarver, and Ali Adams to name a few have all tested positive for PED’s he looks like a boxing prophet. Allow me to reiterate that boxing is a life and death sport; someone will die in the ring this year (boxing averages 11 deaths per year). Yet and still people continue to ignore PED’s in the sport, 21 July 2012 boxer Adrian Bronner came in 3.5 pounds overweight for his fight and he has been dogged in the media more than Antonio Tarver who just failed his drug test. Bronner was fined $ 60,000 while Tarver was fined only $2,500 doesn’t anyone see the insanity in this?  When a man is hitting a baseball, or swimming, or dunking a basketball I am not as concerned about PED’s but when a man is hitting another man’s skull potentially hundreds of times in a fight I have a huge issue with it.

By the way if a guy turns down 40 million to make 20 million then I want a test for crack more than PED’s  but hey that’s just my opinion sorry, Manny.

Clean Living

I've been doing laundry since Friday (off and on anyway). As I sat in the basement on Sunday morning I asked myself, "Where did all of these clothes come from?" I can remember a time not too long ago where I was completely done with laundry (except the clothes on my body. Every now and again I debate on doing laundry naked in order to have EVERYTHING clean at once but never have). In my mind it felt like just a few weeks ago when all the clothes were clean and folded, but as I looked at the mountain of clothes (clean and dirty) I doubted my time-frame. I started to smile and realized that laundry was like life. Keep it clean!

Conservative Views

There's a time to vent. There is a time to throw yourself a small pity-party. And there's a time when you need to dust yourself off and start moving forward again. Failure and disappointment is tough to get over. I used to be extremely stubborn now I'm only just a little stubborn. I've become more mature, more lazy (not wanting to expend extra effort proving a point or being confrontational), and I feel like I've lost some of my edge. The proper edge is a beautiful thing, believe it or not. You have know "when to hold em' and when to fold em".  It's a crazy balancing act. I was watching an interview on Kobe Bryant the other night and he talked about his stubbornness and how that helped him get to the NBA. He also talked about the early 2000's when he was facing the sexual assault case and how people said he couldn't go to trial and continue to play in games afterwards. He attributed his stubbornness as the biggest reason he was able to literally leave trial in Colorado, fly to LA (or wherever the game happened to be), arrive just before game-time or shortly thereafter and play exceptionally well.  There are times when you are the only person that believes in you and you're faced with a decision: Push forward with no support or let others dictate the outcome of your life. Of course, there are a zillion exceptions to my last statement. You have to be rational but contain just enough stubbornness to strive for things that may seem out of reach to many...or most. Success will dull your edge. As you achieve certain goals there's a tendency to "fight" for less, as to not make waves and potentially upset your lifestyle. I believe that mindset has kept me from achieving much more. When you have nothing to lose, you tend to take more chances, it's natural. Having things to lose makes most of us much more conservative in our views, our actions, and our goals. If/or when I become a multi-millionaire, I will revisit my conservative and less edgy ways, but for now I plan to crank it up. I have too much to achieve and being afraid to push the envelope will NOT help me get there.

Never Forgotten

Poems by Bax

Never forgotten
You're part of my fabric
Part of the humor
Part of the tragic
Your disappearing act was like magic: Copperfield
While I ran the streets trying to cop a feel
The white boys were copping pills
The dope boys were copping wheels
Fire hydrant cooled the summer days while the old folks chilled
Free lunches; don't forget the milk
At the rec pool
Couldn't wait to get out of summer school
All these memories are a part of me
Will I forget those days? Hardly
The experience has been Godly

10 Year Plan

I go through these spells where I have a ton of things on my mind, but cannot organize my thoughts. Sundays are when I start to think about the upcoming week, but I seem to always look further (much further) and start examining my entire life. These are the times that I become super frustrated. I'm not sure where I'm "supposed" to be in my life at this particular time. All I know is: I ain't there. I met a young man last week who found out about our nonprofit through an article he had read. I met with him to see if there was an opportunity for us to help one another. He's 21 years old, has some different passions, but not entirely sure the direction he wants to go. In other words: He's in the same boat of about 85% off 21 year olds in the world. And I'd imagine about 80% of everyone else. At 21 you have been out of school for more than 2 years and things are starting to change.  I told him about having a plan, avoiding excuses, and utilizing all of his resources. As I spoke with the young man, I realized that I was 10 years older than him and there are times when I lose my way. As a matter of fact: I struggled last week with wanting more money and trying to decide if it was time for me to move on from my current situation. We all would like more money, less stress, and more recognition at our job. I wonder what percentage of people feel like they're getting paid "what they deserve" at their job. Most of us spend half our lives at our jobs and the other half complaining about our jobs. As I spoke with this fresh faced kid, looking for his first real opportunity, I wondered if I could follow some of the advice that I passed along to him. Later in the week I spoke with a friend of mine who's going through a crossroads of sorts in his own life. As he spoke to me about how bad his situation was, I realized that he had no plan, always had an excuse for why something didn't go his way, and didn't take advantage of the resources at his disposal. He is almost the exact same person he was at 21 (He's now 31). I have no idea what the 21 year old will do with his next 10 years on earth. I'm not sure if he'll be in the same state of mind, just trying to find his way, but I pray the he'll exceed the limited success that I've experienced in 31 years and can pass along some knowledge to someone aspiring to being like him.

The Celebration of Second Chances

It's always awesome when great things not only happen for you, but for your loved ones. This past weekend I celebrated with a friend of mine who is getting a second chance in many ways. He's been living in Detroit and barely able to pay his bills. He hasn't been able to save enough money to pay off all of the tickets he has in order to get his license. And with no license, you're options of employment are limited...when there are actually people hiring. He wanted more and was considering an array of avenues to get more money with many of them (okay all of them) being illegal.

I do my best not to judge people. I have been around all types of addicts, including my mother and father. There are people who most people would be terrified of who'd give me the shirt off their backs. They are judged by people because they haven't been able to manage their demons and result to their choice of drug, be it cocaine, pills, or alcohol. I think it is very interesting how judgmental folks can be just because they can afford their addiction or their demons cannot be detected by the naked eye...But I digress.

My friend was considering selling crack/cocaine; A drug that has destroyed millions of lives. Selling drugs (I'm not including marijuana. I don't smoke, but I don't see much wrong with it) is kinda like shooting a gun into a house; You know it is causing damage, but you don't really know how much damage. My friend and I have had the displeasure of living in THAT house, and seeing first hand how destructive and deadly it can be. We are two of the fortunate ones who have survived being exposed to that lifestyle, but how could we be the cause of other children facing the challenging odds of surviving that life and being a productive member of society?

A friend of his offered to get him out of the state. He drove from down south and will allow him to live with him. He's also giving him 2 months rent free until he can get on his feet. This was just what the doctor ordered! There are many times that we're faced with what feels like the lesser of two evils. Life can be so difficult and simply surviving can take the place of a rational and ethical alternative.

This is a celebration of second chances. The second chances that many of us don't get. I wish him all the best and I'm ecstatic of what the future holds for him.