Ongoing Tradegy (Part 1)

Baxter's Buzz

It has been quite some time since I've posted a blog. I felt compelled to ask a few questions aloud (well, at least on paper..). The tragedy in Connecticut on Friday shook me and those around me differently than any recent tragedy that I can remember. Many of my coworkers have children, and with the number of nieces, nephews and young cousins that I have, the cowardly action from Friday made me feel extremely vulnerable. As human beings, we feel an obligation to protect the innocent: Women, children and the elderly. This story is a reminder of not only the issues that we have, but the differences as well.

Whenever there's a violent act that captures the nation's attention, the battle between pro-gun people and anti-gun people grows stronger. I honestly don't feel strongly one way or the other. I believe that guns are definitely a problem, but they don't shoot themselves. I feel like guns is only truly one part of this problem, but I don't necessarily feel that they are the main problem.

It's Bigger Than Hip Hop

I'm 31 years old and I will continue to listen to hip hop when there are artists that I want to hear. But I will not support nor defend anything outside of that. I get so sick of hearing about fights and scuffles between grown ass millionaires and their entourages. I believe that it is irresponsible behavior on a number of levels. These folks won't learn until...you know what? Most of these fools will never learn, I am sad to say.  I like a number of artists when the music feels authentic. When the music is real and the artistry is there. Hip hop was built on saying the most creative rhymes, bragging about how much better you were than everyone else and expressing yourself through fashion. One of the best (if not the best) songs ever is "The Message" by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. It shed light on their community and what people were dealing with. It referred to the struggles that people in urban America were facing. It was never to be glorified though, only to be given a voice. Well what is considered "given a voice," is up for interpretation. There are many rappers (not to be confused with artists) who claim to be exposing the world to what goes in the inner cities, but they are really trying to make a quick buck exploiting themselves and their community. The talk of drug dealing and killing by young people who make tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands and sometimes millions of dollars is ridiculous. Most of these rappers are not leading the life that they're promoting and if there are, they're as dumb as they believe us listeners are for buying that garbage. These record executives have the most important role in all of this. They decide what's "hot" or not and whatever they say the forecast is, that's what it is. I will save the conspiracy theories for another time, but if the executives wanted to make catchy songs that promoted eating your vegetables and finishing school, these kids would be creating records about Masters degrees and asparagus. This is a topic that I am clearly incapable of doing justice, however, the part I have addressed is the easy stuff. The conversation will continue although I'm not sure if we'll make much progress.

Ignorance

One of my family members hurt my feelings earlier this week. Not with words directed at me (I'm way past that), but with his words in general. We all say stupid things. If we're fortunate, we won't say things that are offensive in addition to being stupid...ever. But when you say things using social media, it is like saying it over and over and over again, reminding people of your ignorance. Even if it was just a temporary case of ignorance and not full blown, it all looks the same. We are our own brand and every message we post on Facebook or Twitter or any other social media platform, we contribute to how people view us and our brand. Ignorance doesn't discriminate so I won't talk about a person's upbringing, but when I know someone's history, I look at their ignorance in a different light. Jobs need to be applied for, impressions need to be made and reputations need to be preserved. Listen: I think a lot of stupid things are funny and I have many opinions that may appear controversial, but my secret is that I DON'T POST THEM ON FACEBOOK! Genius, right? Kids grow up and become their own people. When it comes to our family, we just have a certain vision of how we'd like that person to be. Truth is, there are more disappointments than anything else. What are you gonna do? The truly ignorant have no care about who they offend and then there are some who grow up and realize  how foolish they were (that would be me!). How will this particular family member end up viewing themselves from 2012? That is yet to be seen.

Interesting Week

by Baxter E. Hall This should be a very interesting week. My 12 week class starts and I'll find out if I got the promotion I interviewed for last week. One thing that won't change for me is my appreciation for life. I mentioned in my last post that I was looking for links to my family. I have succeeded in some ways and in other ways, not so much. I have realized my accomplishments and I am no longer afraid of them. I have spent so much time and energy on my failures, but haven't given myself enough credit for the goals I have achieved. I also realized that nobody owes me anything. I thank God for guiding me to this point along with some close friends and some family members. There are others who could have made things easier for me, but that isn't the way my life goes. That is why I am so grateful because nothing has been taken for granted. Everyone is trying to live their life and life is hard, so I am holding no grudges. I am simply trying to be the best person that I can be. I am free from guilt and trying to free myself from regrets. My focus is on today and tomorrow. It is pretty difficult to move forward while looking behind you. Many times we allow our demons to creep up and prevent us from progressing. We get so hung up on what we've been through, but life doesn't care. Life will chew you up and think nothing of it. You don't get extra credit in school because you were born to a crack addict. You don't get a bonus check at work because you overcame obstacles that others didn't overcome. You have objectives to complete and that is what you're judged by (along with inner office politics, occasional schmoozing and petty beefs). Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery. But if you dwell on yesterday, history will repeat itself.

Family (un)Ties

by Baxter E. Hall

I've been trying to locate many of my family members for the past few weeks and have started to make some headway. I've always focused on what was in front of me and not worried too much about the past and things that were already done. So as I get older, I realize that there are many holes in my story and as question was answered, two others were asked (It's like carrying laundry and socks keep falling out of your hands). Being of African-American descent, it already limits the amount of information that you can acquire (Because of that whole slavery thing).

That sucks, but couple that with the fact that there are family members in the same metro area that I don't know, there's a bit of sadness that starts to creep in. It has effected my sleep, my mood and view of many family members (Not to mention the fact that my wife and I could use more money and we are still waiting to get pregnant for the first time). So I've been somewhat depressed, to say the least.

Ok, Good News: I re-connected with one of my cousins from my mother's side of the family. We both lost our moms at a young age (Although she lost her mom even younger than I did) and we've always felt a disconnect between ourselves and the rest of our family. Our families didn't do a good job of keeping us in contact with one another and we just went along with our separate lives. And although we couldn't bring our moms back, maybe we could have help comfort one another.

I realized that my cousin enjoys writing just like I do (She's already written her first book so I have some catching up to do), has a blog (I have 2 blogs, but big deal, she's already written a book!) and she's also done some rapping and singing. It was crazy to realize that not only do we share some of the same pains, we also have similar interests.

We both know there are many questions we have, but we now have each other to accompany us on our journey. There will be some more sad times, but I am looking forward to coming up on the other end smelling like a rose. Hey, you don't make it this far by letting a little sadness deter you from your journey. I'm ready to tie up some of these loose ends.

Shut Up And Listen!

by Deon Carson

The world of boxing is coming to a change of the guard not only in the ring with stars like Floyd, Manny, Hopkins, and Marquez set to hang of their gloves soon; but also in the world of promotion. With the old kings of the sport like Bob Arum, and Don King being at the end of their run a boxing is about to get a major shot in the arm. Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson have officially started their own promotional company called TMT Promotions, and they have hit the ground running. TMT promotions have already signed Yourikis Gamboa, Andre Berto, Billy Dibbs, Zab Judah, Callestino Callerbo and Andre Dirrell. And with up and coming star Adrienne “The Problem” Bronner showing indications that when his contract is up he may jump on this ship as well; Fifty and Floyd have strong armed their way right in the mix of things.


This new blood is a wonderful thing with the old promoters holding up fights the public wants to see due to old grudges it’s time for some new life in the game. I am a “real” boxing fan and I know that fights like Donaire vs. Mares or Rigenaux, Rios vs. Bronner, Brook vs. Guererro and yes Mayweather vs. Pacquiao along with many many other fights are being held up by old men (Arum, King) who should have been out of the sport long ago. Another thing is I’m glad that former and current fighters

Oscar De La Hoya and Floyd Mayweather Jr. are setting a new standard for boxers to follow once they hang their gloves up. Paving the way for people who have actually shed blood sweat and tears to actually lead the sport they sacrificed so much for. Boxing is a true gladiator sport, and I feel the gladiators who survived should lead the way in guiding the next generation.

Shut Up and Listen!

by Deon Carson      

   I’m going to answer some questions that have been asked of me, and also respond to some comments.

Will Tom Brady’s legacy be tainted if he doesn’t win another Super bowl? Brady has 3 rings; that’s 2 more than Favre, 2 more than Young, 3 more than Marino, 1 more than Elway, 1 less than Montana, I think Tom’s legacy is safe.

What’s wrong with U.S. Olympic boxing? If you’re a really good amateur boxer in the U.S. these days you turn pro instead of waiting for the Olympics (see Adrienne Bronner, and Gary Russell Jr.). And who wants to train all of that time miss out on that money and possibly get robbed like Roy Jones (1988 Olympics), and Floyd Mayweather Jr. (1996 Olympics)?

Could the 2012 Olympic basketball team compete with the 1992 team? Unless you can tell me who Magic, Stockton, Mullins, Bird, and Barkley could guard from this team I would have to say yes. In a 7 game series it would be crazy to bet against Jordan, but to say the 2012 would not be able to hang with the 1992 team probably shows a little biased.

Does the acquisition of Dwight Howard make the Lakers the favorites out west? If that were the only new addition I’d say no, but with Jamison, Nash, Meeks, the re-signing of Jordan Hill, and Devin Ebanks I would have to say yes depending on Howard’s health, of course.

Final thought for all of my boxing fans, I am very excited about the Andre Ward Chad Dawson fight. Two gifted athletes in their prime fighting it out for the belt, whoever wins this bout will vault themselves into my top 3 pound for pound list.

Dreaming is Breathing

 Poems by Bax

I am what I dream. Plus the actions that follow.
There's a fine line between enjoying today and planning tomorrow.
Wars and terrorists, home-grown and abroad. Why Lord?
What am I to do? I want to have kids with my wife
But this world is so trife. I strive. What will it be like when they arrive?

I close my eyes and wonder if things are worse than any other time.
As I view newspaper clippings and watch the history channel
The bible shows there have always been humans with animal
Instincts. I sink. Into the sofa.
Whiskey on the rocks.
I'm lost.

Pull a piece of paper to write my cousin.
He says "Keep your head up. I'm counting on you"
"The walls of failure I expect you to break through"
Well that's that. I'm back not only dreaming but believing
I'm living for so many, no time for defeating feelings
I will become what I'm dreaming
And this is life's meaning

Shut Up and Listen!

by Deon Carson
 

                Is Isaiah Thomas crazy? Yep. Was he a losing coach? Yep. Was he a terrible president of basketball operations? Yep. As a player was he a fierce competitor, a winner, and the best little guard to ever lace em up? Absolutely yes. This is why I do not understand the blatant disrespect that Zeke receives for his on the court game.  Please do not compare any of these players to Zeke (sorry CP3 that includes you).  Isaiah could score and if he were stupid he could have avg. 30, but as we have seen when your PG avg. 30 you do not win championships, go ask Iverson how that worked out. Instead of averaging a ton of points Isaiah chose to win he saved his fireworks for the biggest moments.

          Isaiah Thomas had some great great moments, like the 1990 NBA finals when In game one, Isaiah scored 16 points in the 4th quarter bringing the Pistons all the way back from ten points down with seven minutes remaining. He scored 22 points in a quarter later in those Finals. He averaged 27.6 points, 7.0 assists, and 5.2 rebounds against Portland that series. In the 1989 playoffs Isaiah and the Pistons would lose only 2 games in route to their championship. The legendary ankle sprain game when Isaiah scored 25 points in the 3^rd quarter of game 6 against the Lakers on a badly hurt ankle. I won't even bring up the 16 points in 94 seconds in game five against the Knicks in the playoffs (oops too late).  I could go on all day about Zeke and his feats the point is there was no little guard ever better than Isaiah; he elbowed his way into history. While the league was celebrating Magic and Bird, and elevating Jordan the smallest man of them all managed to leave a huge footprint on the league. You may not like it but he did it his way and succeeded, 1 National Championship, 2 NBA Championships I'd say his accomplishments speak for themselves. My last note is that a man like Karl Malone who could never get it done should not be allowed to say any disparaging words about Isaiah remember Karl the mailman doesn't deliver on Sundays.

Shut Up and Listen!

by Deon Carson

I have a problem with some of the criticism toward Carmelo Anthony, they say he doesn’t make his team better they also say he can’t win well I beg to differ. From the 1995-1996 season through the 2002-2003 season Denver DID NOT make the playoffs as a matter of fact the season prior to drafting Carmelo they won a grand total of 17 games. Melo's rookie year they make the playoffs and made it every year after that. Some will point out that he lost in the 1^st round 7 of eight years while in Denver. During that time Carmelo lost to the Spurs and the Lakers 5 times, once to Minnesota, once to Utah, and once to the Clippers. Out of all of those series he may have had the better team once. Since coming to NY he lost to Boston, and Miami I’m no genius but I doubt he was favored in either of those series. Not to mention NY had not won one a playoff game in ten years prior to him dropping 40 on the Heat this year.

Now the media is saying the pressure is on him to “win now” unless I’ve been asleep and the Knicks have Chris Paul, or Dwight or Bynum there is no pressure on him to “win now” because he is not on a championship team. Duuuh. The Knicks are a middle of the road team, and if I blame Carmelo for anything (other than playing no D) it’s forcing a trade to a team that has 2 rings in its’ history with no real young talent, and no cap space.

Love and Marriage

I love my wife and today, (like every single day, several times a day) I told her as much. She gave me a strange look. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked her. She replied, "You'll be telling me how crazy I drive you before today is over". That is true. She does drive me crazy sometimes. As I'm sure I drive her crazy. I made a vow to take the good with the bad. The bitter with the sweet. And if even given the choice, I'd stay where I am. Both of those statements can be true...even at the same time.

I was  hanging out with a couple of friends of mine and one of them happens to be single. Through out this blog I'll refer to him as "My single friend" or a similar distinction. We just hung out and talked like we often do. We laugh and joke, reminisce about old times and vent about jobs and significant others. As we went through our typical routine, my single friend said, "I never hear anything good about marriage". I was actually disappointed. I feel like my outlook on marriage is pretty good. And I feel like I communicated the positives more often than the latter, but apparently I don't communicate well enough to encourage my single friend to consider getting married. I have some friends that are super negative when it comes to their outlook on marriage and I started to think, "Maybe my single friend is not discouraged by me, per se, and maybe it's those other guys". And maybe just a little because of me.

I try to be honest with everyone. Nothing is great all the time and I don't waste time lying to my friends trying to convince them that my life is perfect and I don't waste time telling acquaintances about any problems I may be having. Most acquaintances don't care if you're having a bad day or not so there's no need going into detail with them, and your friends don't deserved to be lied to (One of the problems that you run into is friends who want to know your dirt to make them feel better about themselves, but we'll get to that at a later time).

Many would say I got married late. But at the age of 27, many more people would say that I got married too soon. In my wife I have my best friend. And like any best friends, we laugh more than argue, we smile more than we frown, and we chit-chat more than we give each other the silent treatment.

Between all of the television shows and stand-up comedians, bad-mouthing marriage, it has become commonplace to joke about how much your wife or husband sucks. In a way, we could be shaping unmarried people's views in a negative manner (Along with the near 50% divorce rate). Fact: Marriage is work. There are definitely days where I question my decision to get married, but for every 1 day I question marriage, there are 25 days where I am so thankful that God blessed me with my wonderful wife and can't imagine not being with her. I guess I need to be more mindful and communicate those things more and focus less on making Al Bundy type of jokes.

This is dedicated to one of my newest friends who was just engaged recently.

Shut Up and Listen!

by Deon Carson

People still don’t get it PED’s are a problem in Boxing. When Floyd Mayweather Jr first implemented his “anyone who fights me has to test” system people ostracized him calling him afraid. But after Andre Berto, Lamont Peterson, Antonio Tarver, and Ali Adams to name a few have all tested positive for PED’s he looks like a boxing prophet. Allow me to reiterate that boxing is a life and death sport; someone will die in the ring this year (boxing averages 11 deaths per year). Yet and still people continue to ignore PED’s in the sport, 21 July 2012 boxer Adrian Bronner came in 3.5 pounds overweight for his fight and he has been dogged in the media more than Antonio Tarver who just failed his drug test. Bronner was fined $ 60,000 while Tarver was fined only $2,500 doesn’t anyone see the insanity in this?  When a man is hitting a baseball, or swimming, or dunking a basketball I am not as concerned about PED’s but when a man is hitting another man’s skull potentially hundreds of times in a fight I have a huge issue with it.

By the way if a guy turns down 40 million to make 20 million then I want a test for crack more than PED’s  but hey that’s just my opinion sorry, Manny.

Clean Living

I've been doing laundry since Friday (off and on anyway). As I sat in the basement on Sunday morning I asked myself, "Where did all of these clothes come from?" I can remember a time not too long ago where I was completely done with laundry (except the clothes on my body. Every now and again I debate on doing laundry naked in order to have EVERYTHING clean at once but never have). In my mind it felt like just a few weeks ago when all the clothes were clean and folded, but as I looked at the mountain of clothes (clean and dirty) I doubted my time-frame. I started to smile and realized that laundry was like life. Keep it clean!

Conservative Views

There's a time to vent. There is a time to throw yourself a small pity-party. And there's a time when you need to dust yourself off and start moving forward again. Failure and disappointment is tough to get over. I used to be extremely stubborn now I'm only just a little stubborn. I've become more mature, more lazy (not wanting to expend extra effort proving a point or being confrontational), and I feel like I've lost some of my edge. The proper edge is a beautiful thing, believe it or not. You have know "when to hold em' and when to fold em".  It's a crazy balancing act. I was watching an interview on Kobe Bryant the other night and he talked about his stubbornness and how that helped him get to the NBA. He also talked about the early 2000's when he was facing the sexual assault case and how people said he couldn't go to trial and continue to play in games afterwards. He attributed his stubbornness as the biggest reason he was able to literally leave trial in Colorado, fly to LA (or wherever the game happened to be), arrive just before game-time or shortly thereafter and play exceptionally well.  There are times when you are the only person that believes in you and you're faced with a decision: Push forward with no support or let others dictate the outcome of your life. Of course, there are a zillion exceptions to my last statement. You have to be rational but contain just enough stubbornness to strive for things that may seem out of reach to many...or most. Success will dull your edge. As you achieve certain goals there's a tendency to "fight" for less, as to not make waves and potentially upset your lifestyle. I believe that mindset has kept me from achieving much more. When you have nothing to lose, you tend to take more chances, it's natural. Having things to lose makes most of us much more conservative in our views, our actions, and our goals. If/or when I become a multi-millionaire, I will revisit my conservative and less edgy ways, but for now I plan to crank it up. I have too much to achieve and being afraid to push the envelope will NOT help me get there.

Never Forgotten

Poems by Bax

Never forgotten
You're part of my fabric
Part of the humor
Part of the tragic
Your disappearing act was like magic: Copperfield
While I ran the streets trying to cop a feel
The white boys were copping pills
The dope boys were copping wheels
Fire hydrant cooled the summer days while the old folks chilled
Free lunches; don't forget the milk
At the rec pool
Couldn't wait to get out of summer school
All these memories are a part of me
Will I forget those days? Hardly
The experience has been Godly

10 Year Plan

I go through these spells where I have a ton of things on my mind, but cannot organize my thoughts. Sundays are when I start to think about the upcoming week, but I seem to always look further (much further) and start examining my entire life. These are the times that I become super frustrated. I'm not sure where I'm "supposed" to be in my life at this particular time. All I know is: I ain't there. I met a young man last week who found out about our nonprofit through an article he had read. I met with him to see if there was an opportunity for us to help one another. He's 21 years old, has some different passions, but not entirely sure the direction he wants to go. In other words: He's in the same boat of about 85% off 21 year olds in the world. And I'd imagine about 80% of everyone else. At 21 you have been out of school for more than 2 years and things are starting to change.  I told him about having a plan, avoiding excuses, and utilizing all of his resources. As I spoke with the young man, I realized that I was 10 years older than him and there are times when I lose my way. As a matter of fact: I struggled last week with wanting more money and trying to decide if it was time for me to move on from my current situation. We all would like more money, less stress, and more recognition at our job. I wonder what percentage of people feel like they're getting paid "what they deserve" at their job. Most of us spend half our lives at our jobs and the other half complaining about our jobs. As I spoke with this fresh faced kid, looking for his first real opportunity, I wondered if I could follow some of the advice that I passed along to him. Later in the week I spoke with a friend of mine who's going through a crossroads of sorts in his own life. As he spoke to me about how bad his situation was, I realized that he had no plan, always had an excuse for why something didn't go his way, and didn't take advantage of the resources at his disposal. He is almost the exact same person he was at 21 (He's now 31). I have no idea what the 21 year old will do with his next 10 years on earth. I'm not sure if he'll be in the same state of mind, just trying to find his way, but I pray the he'll exceed the limited success that I've experienced in 31 years and can pass along some knowledge to someone aspiring to being like him.

The Celebration of Second Chances

It's always awesome when great things not only happen for you, but for your loved ones. This past weekend I celebrated with a friend of mine who is getting a second chance in many ways. He's been living in Detroit and barely able to pay his bills. He hasn't been able to save enough money to pay off all of the tickets he has in order to get his license. And with no license, you're options of employment are limited...when there are actually people hiring. He wanted more and was considering an array of avenues to get more money with many of them (okay all of them) being illegal.

I do my best not to judge people. I have been around all types of addicts, including my mother and father. There are people who most people would be terrified of who'd give me the shirt off their backs. They are judged by people because they haven't been able to manage their demons and result to their choice of drug, be it cocaine, pills, or alcohol. I think it is very interesting how judgmental folks can be just because they can afford their addiction or their demons cannot be detected by the naked eye...But I digress.

My friend was considering selling crack/cocaine; A drug that has destroyed millions of lives. Selling drugs (I'm not including marijuana. I don't smoke, but I don't see much wrong with it) is kinda like shooting a gun into a house; You know it is causing damage, but you don't really know how much damage. My friend and I have had the displeasure of living in THAT house, and seeing first hand how destructive and deadly it can be. We are two of the fortunate ones who have survived being exposed to that lifestyle, but how could we be the cause of other children facing the challenging odds of surviving that life and being a productive member of society?

A friend of his offered to get him out of the state. He drove from down south and will allow him to live with him. He's also giving him 2 months rent free until he can get on his feet. This was just what the doctor ordered! There are many times that we're faced with what feels like the lesser of two evils. Life can be so difficult and simply surviving can take the place of a rational and ethical alternative.

This is a celebration of second chances. The second chances that many of us don't get. I wish him all the best and I'm ecstatic of what the future holds for him.

Work Friends

Baxter's Buzz

This past week has been awesome. It was my wife's birthday on Monday and I believe (fingers crossed) that she was happy with the way things turned out. We did a few things leading up to her actual day, and I'm proud of the way I handled things. I never feel like I've done enough for her; if it's a birthday or we're celebrating anything. I put a limit on the amount we could spend for Christmas this past year. I did it so we wouldn't spend too much and pay for it, but especially because I didn't want to be the cause of us going broke. I think most of us work so hard to make our partners happy that it can be exhausting at times. Then you throw children in that mix and 90% of your time is dedicated to making other people happy, with remaining 10% split between sleep and American Idol.

Later in the week my nonprofit was able to get away our first scholarship. It was an awesome feeling to see a light bulb turn on upstairs and then years later seeing your vision coming to fruition. My group, although small, is fantastic. We have a core group that is consistent in attending meetings and providing some great ideas with equal follow-through. We have some folks that have come and gone, but that is to be expected. Life happens and it isn't always easy to stick to your commitments. When the pressure comes, people have been known to leave mates, jobs, and even children behind. When you think of it that way, nobody feels much guilt in leaving commitments like softball leagues and a book clubs.

I am so noncommittal because I hate giving my word and then not following through. So when I give my word, you can count on it. If I have no intentions of attending an event I'll just say that. People aren't always thrilled, but I believe most of them respect the honesty. There are some who'd rather you lie to them about attending, because that is the way they handle things. They're the type to make plans and then not answer the phone on the day the plans are suppose to occur. 

The turnout for the event was great and the recipient of our first annual scholarship was extremely gracious, as was her family. The people that I work with were more supportive than my friends or family. These folks must like me because I've only been there for a little over 7 months and many of the people I talk to daily were as excited as anyone because they knew how important it was for me. I was used to coworkers only talking to you during the hours the office was open. Don't get caught in the middle of a story when 5 o'clock hits or you'd have to finish up the next day. I made a great decision by joining this company and I'm hopeful that I'll have some good friends when I leave.

I plan to blog a couple times this week to share some other things that have been on my mind. As always, I appreciate you guys reading. And as long as you keep reading, I'll keep blogging.

God Bless,
Baxter E.

Your Computer May Be at Risk

It appears to be always something. You take two steps forward and then one step back. Life is tricky like that. The news is scary, cancer can be caused by almost everything it seems. I read last week that exercise may be bad for you! Are you kidding me?? What is one to do? You're encouraged to do shopping online because there are deals there that you can't get in the stores. Then, they tell you how bad internet security is and it's not a matter of if, but when your identity will be stolen. Sheesh. I work everyday at a job where most of the people, even the higher ups are respectful. There is one rude s.o.b., but I don't have to see much of them so not a big deal. So even though my job is great, there are other opportunities to make more money, work closer to home, or some other opportunity/risk. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Money will NOT run my life. I understand its importance, but I won't become a slave to it. Will I listen to offers? For sure. I won't however, insert myself into a situation that I know will be awful for the sake of making a few extra dollars.

Week in Review
The Old College Try - There was a story of a man eating his roommate's heart and brains after killing him. I've had some roommates that have gotten on my last nerve, and although I may have thought of hurting them, never considered killing them and eating their organs. Seriously, was it the dirty dishes or the loud John Mayer music?

Riding Dirty - Nick Fairley, the knuckle head player for the Detroit Lions was arrested again this summer. This time for driving 100 miles per hour while being intoxicated. This is why it is difficult to be a fan these days. These guys make so much money that it is hard for us regular folks to understand whey they behave so stupidly. I don't go out of my way to watch sports like I used to, although I still watch my fair share. These guys are out there living their dreams so I need to take time for myself to pursue my own.


Ernie - The wife and I went to see "Ernie" downtown Detroit at the City Theatre on Saturday. Hockeytown Cafe was very average regarding their food, but the show was fantastic. It was about Ernie Harwell, the voice of the Detroit Tigers and his story. Learning about his story and how humble he was. That is someone that I can get behind, not these idiot athletes who contribute to the negative stereotypes. The show nearly brought me to tears. A God-fearing man who never felt like he deserved the spotlight for doing something he felt privileged to do.

For Us Regular Folks (Hall of Fame)

Baxter's Buzz

The last time I posted, I gave you my case for Ben Wallace being a hall of famer. I want to talk about us regular folks today. What is our "hall of fame"? Many will say it is heaven, and although I agree, I want to talk about our time on earth.

I was talking with a friend of mine who has been struggling with finances. Student loans has been kicking her butt and she barely has enough money for her other bills. I think it is an absolute shame that people are working (and many people still can't find work) to pay their student loans. According to an analysis from the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, student loan debt had reached 867 billion by the end of 2011, more than credit card debt or auto loans.

There's this illusion of the "American Dream" where people are supposed to work hard in school, go to college, get a job, buy a house, and after marriage and kids, you live happily ever after. They fail to mention that student loans are suffocating families and folks are working primarily to pay back their loans. And stress levels are at an all-time high. My wife still owes a significant amount of money and as I contemplate finishing up my degree, I am concerned that the money I'll earn with a degree won't be enough of bump in my salary to justify incurring $50,000 or more of debt.

I refuse to worry about money and spend the best part of my life stressed out. I understand that money is a necessary evil. That's why I work hard and show up everyday, but I believe that there's more to life than chasing the mighty dollar. The legacy you leave is pretty much the hall of fame for us regular folks. The lives you help improve and the smiles that you leave on people's faces when they think of you. That's how I want to be remembered. You can keep the money...well not all the money, but...you know what I mean.

Big Ben - Hall of Famer

Sports Buzz

Career averages of 10 rebounds, 6 points, and 2 blocks per game doesn't tell the whole story of this soon-to-be Hall of Famer. That's right, I said it. As I watched the Pistons vs. Wizards game on Monday night (March 26th) and Greg Monroe, the Pistons big man of the future received his fifth foul in the third quarter, Ben Wallace entered the game. And Mr. Wallace did what he's always done when his number is called: He went to work. He was talking on defense, being physical with the bigs from Washington and his presence alone helped the Pistons stay within striking distance. He barked at the refs, blocked shots, and played his stinking heart out. As I watched him defend Nene Hilario, who to the untrained eye, appears to have a clear advantage of any person who is about 6 inches and 25-35 pounds lighter than he is, I realized that this is what Big Ben has been faced with since his rookie year in the 96-97 season. Sheer dermination and good old fashioned hard work. Once he arrived in Detroit after bouncing from Washington to Orlando, he found his niche. He came to a city that not only embodies grit and an honest days work, but that also made folk heroes of players like Bill Laimbeer, John Salley, and hall of famer Dennis Rodman.

Ben Wallace and Chucky Atkins were "traded" to Detroit when Grant Hill decided he was going to Orlando as a free agent. To make salaries fit, and as some sort of consolation prize, Joe Dumars asked for Chucky Atkins and John Amechi. Luckily for Joe, the Magic were too high on Amechi and decidedd to offer Ben Wallace instead. Deal!

We all know what happens next so let's look at some things people may not remember or have taken for granted. Wallace was the silent leader of a team that went to six Eastern Conference Finals. In 2004, the year the Pistons won the title, they held teams to third lowest total since the shot clock era at 84 points per game. They were a Robert Horry 3 pointer (damn it, Rasheed) from winning the title again in '05. This was a team that didn't do it by clearing it out for a superstar to go one on five, they played hard nose defense and grinded it out on offense.

They reminded us Detroiters of the original "Bad Boys" by intimidating teams and truly turning the chip on their shoulders into a "chip" on the mantle. With Ben's help-side defense, he even made Chauncey Billups a mainstay on the All NBA defensive teams (no small feat). Ben is 6'7" and led the league in blocks (Okay not really but he was at 3.1 and Theo Ratliff was at 3.2), rebounds (twice), and was the Defensive Player of the Year four times in 5 years (I love Ron Artest but come on). Sadly on most nights he appears to be the best defensive player on the Pistons roster. As he finishes up his hall of fame career in a Pistons jersey, where his hall of fame argument began, I hope that the young guys learn that regardless of what your measurements are, effort is something that everyone give...every single night.

Old Man Buzz

Baxter's Buzz

Fact: I am getting old. I struggle between watching ESPN and MSNBC in the morning. On the weekends, I'm watching 60 Minutes instead of NBA basketball. I still enjoy my sports, don't get me wrong, but I struggle with the decision, and many times choose to take a walk with my wife instead of sitting on the couch.

This is just part of my evolution. There are so many hours in a day and so much to be done. Studying, planning, and quality time with your loved ones. I am now adding even more to my plate that I'll share at a later time. My idle time is dwindling, but I'm more excited about where my time is going than ever before.

6 Things Thursday

Baxter's Buzz

These are six of the random thoughts that have filled my brain this week. Enjoy

1. I logged into my Gmail account this week and Google asked for my phone number. You know, just in case I forgot my password. Pretty sure they know everything about me.

2. I'm celebrating my birthday very early this year. I always approach April 16th like New Years. I have great feeling about what the next 12 months will bring.

3. Just because you're realty, really good at your job doesn't mean you can manager others. Two separate skillsets. You want to reward these overachievers but if they are not built for that type of job, it is going to be tough. Very few can truly learn to lead without having the trait to begin with.

4. I'm working really hard on growing a beard. I always give up too soon but this time is going to be different.

5. Sometimes I'm very naïve about how racist and mean spirited people are in this world. When I saw some of the tweets directed toward Spike Lee, I cringed. I asked myself who'd even be friends with someone that posted such hateful words. I mean who would hire these people?

6. Will Trayvon Martin's death be in vain? Will we ever be able to have the conversation of race/racism on a national level? There are so many levels to pull away once the convo starts that people would rather leave the entire subject alone. It really is a shame.

Spring Buzz Part 2

Baxter's Buzz

I continue to reflect on my life, on a daily basis as of late, and I believe I'm slowly turning the corner. My complacency gets the best of me at times and simultaneously, I'm hating myself for not cranking it up a notch.

I wore my Underdog t-shirt to work last week and I started to seriously think if I considered myself a "favorite" or an underdog. That is a very interesting question. Quite honestly, I'm not sure of my conclusion. I believe that because of my circumstances at birth, I was considered by many, an underdog. Black male, born out of wedlock, mother dying before I completed third grade. I was screwed, right? But through God's grace and some caring people being placed in my life, I defied the odds. I am now a productive member of society, with a mortgage, and no breaks in work since the age of 19. At 30 years old, I've managed to do pretty well for myself.

Now I'll be 31 in April with no college degree(yet). I'm a black male who's options are limited because I have put myself in not the greatest of positions. I am smart, thoughtful, and hard working, but I don't have any papers backing up how great of an asset I can be so I am overlooked for roles that I know I'd kick ass in.

I said ALL OF THAT to say this: I am an underdog that's been living like a favorite. I have the skills of a champ and the credentials of a chump. When my effort is in line with my know-how, I have been able to achieve some pretty cool things.

But many times my effort reflects someone who is expecting a handout. And although I've never been given a handout, I get pissed when some great opportunity doesn't just fall into my lap. I have to remind myself that regardless of what I believe I deserve, I have to go out and earn it.

God has blessed me with so much, it would be a shame to not squeeze every ounce of potential out and hopefully inspire others of what can be done, even if you're the only one expecting great things from you.

Spring Buzz Part 1

Baxter's Buzz


I want to apologize to my three followers for being absent from my blog. Sorry I left you. Haha. I'm not sure where to begin. I've written about 25 drafts that haven't made it to this site. I'm not sure why.

Job Stuff - My new job is better than I could imagine. I left my last job and after being there a while and somewhat successful, it had been time to move on. I knew it was time to go, but I wouldn't leave without finding an opportunity I felt 100% comfortable with. This new job has been a real blessing. My comfort level is top notch so far and I couldn't be happier.
Because we have some younger salespeople, its interesting to see them start their sales career. I remember thinking I wanted to be in sales forever. The company has done a great job hiring and it shows. There are some really cool and interesting folks there. As always, I want to out perform everyone, but I wish them all the best too.
I see the politicking that goes on at all jobs and all ages, but I just want to come to work, bust my butt, crack a few jokes and go home. I am hopeful that my numbers/work ethic will speak enough for me.

Home Life - Speaking of home, there is no baby to report of. Just me and Wifey...and my homework. As I continue to take these classes, I'm reminded of why I have a love/hate relationship with school. I love to learn. I love the interaction with the people in class. I hate the cost and the classes that I have no interest in taking, but are part of my program. Oh well, I'll continue to catch you up tomorrow.

Pleasure vs. Pain and the Price of Happiness

Baxter's Buzz

What is the price of happiness? That is the question that has to be answered individually. They say that pleasure is the absence of pain. What is your definition of pain? Once you determine that, you have a better idea of what you'd like to be removed from your life.

When I was young and single, I had an idea of the type of woman I wanted to be with. As I dated different women something strange happened: I developed a long list of what I DIDN'T want. And as the list of dislikes grew, I realized that my likes became more defined. The same can be said for jobs.

My wife and I got married at the beginning of the worst economic time in our lifetimes, so the fact that we both found jobs and have been working is a great blessing. My wife has faced a great deal of unprofessionalism at her current job and it has helped shape her idea of what she'd like in her next role. How do you know the type of person you want or don't want to be with, without having some experience dealing with that "type" of person. Some things seem ideal when you think about your work environment, but you truly don't know until...you know.

When I started my new role in November, it was definitely a lateral move. I gave up the comfort of going to a place that I was familiar with, where people knew me (Some even liked me), and where I REALLY had a grasp of the gig. When you think about those things, my move may seem like a step down in some ways. But the absence of pain in my current role has made it all worth it. I'd go as far as to say this role has been a step UP. My wife has decided it is time for her to move on from this role and I pray that in her next role, she'll experience a similar feeling. But hopefully with a little more money! Haha