Tuesday, January 14, 2014
January 14, 2014
Baxter's Buzz
My baby girl is down for the night. That's the only time of the day that squirming baby is still. After I fed her I put her on my shoulder and just laid there. I was waiting for her to burp but I didn't want to put her down. She's getting big so fast.She's crawling and I'm sure she waved and said "hi" to a picture of herself today.
On most days I feel like she's the only thing I have in this world. To see the world through a child's eyes, it must be a quite the treat. No limits or prejudices. And a true appreciation for the world around them. Not some "I can't wait until Friday," or "Just trying to maintain." These children are learning something new everyday and soaking up the world as it comes.
Genuine energy and enthusiasm for life, every single day. Enthusiasm on a random Sunday afternoon (Even if the Lions lose) or Wednesday evening is something that we can all learn from. Every day is truly a gift.
A gift that is unopened by many and only half opened by most.
I want to wake up like it is Christmas each day. And get the most of my potential for those who didn't make it this far. For friends and family that are no longer with us, lets' live for them! Those who inspired us and helped us along on our journey, let's strive for the best in their honor.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Peace on the Court
Baxter's Buzz
Sports is my reality TV. It helps me get through whatever I'm going through and takes my mind off of real things going on in my life. Those millionaires playing a game is pretty silly, don't you think? As I've gotten older, I haven't taken sports as seriously. I still love my local teams but perspective is a beautiful thing. Like today for instance, the Detroit "Stinkin".Lions loss another winnable game. Do you know how many times I've seen that shit? But I was able to spend the rest of my evening with my lovely wife and my baby girl. How can I be mad about millionaires playing a game when I'm watching my first born be the cutest baby on the planet? Slightly annoyed? Oh, for sure, but nothing more....well, most of the time.
Basketball has been so therapeutic for me over the years. When I was a teenager, thinking the world was going to end because of a girl, I was able to go to the park and let off some steam. I've been playing basketball again recently and it has helped me through some pretty tough times. There's nothing like playing a game you love. I had been away from the game for too long and I didn't always have the proper outlet for my competitive juices. Sometimes you have that pent up aggression with nowhere to direct it. I now feel more balanced.
There's enough seriousness in the world, and we're all big kids so sports brings our attention to something that isn't work or family. Just a little trash talking and an opportunity to enjoy teamwork at its finest (when you're winning).
As my friend and I walked out of the gym today, we asked another guy that we've been playing with if there was something wrong. He didn't seem like himself and he finally admitted that he had just attended his cousin's funeral yesterday. Then he said, "I came to the gym to get away from it and my mind off of things." It feels good to know that it isn't just me who can find peace, if only temporary, on the basketball court.
Sports is my reality TV. It helps me get through whatever I'm going through and takes my mind off of real things going on in my life. Those millionaires playing a game is pretty silly, don't you think? As I've gotten older, I haven't taken sports as seriously. I still love my local teams but perspective is a beautiful thing. Like today for instance, the Detroit "Stinkin".Lions loss another winnable game. Do you know how many times I've seen that shit? But I was able to spend the rest of my evening with my lovely wife and my baby girl. How can I be mad about millionaires playing a game when I'm watching my first born be the cutest baby on the planet? Slightly annoyed? Oh, for sure, but nothing more....well, most of the time.
Basketball has been so therapeutic for me over the years. When I was a teenager, thinking the world was going to end because of a girl, I was able to go to the park and let off some steam. I've been playing basketball again recently and it has helped me through some pretty tough times. There's nothing like playing a game you love. I had been away from the game for too long and I didn't always have the proper outlet for my competitive juices. Sometimes you have that pent up aggression with nowhere to direct it. I now feel more balanced.
There's enough seriousness in the world, and we're all big kids so sports brings our attention to something that isn't work or family. Just a little trash talking and an opportunity to enjoy teamwork at its finest (when you're winning).
As my friend and I walked out of the gym today, we asked another guy that we've been playing with if there was something wrong. He didn't seem like himself and he finally admitted that he had just attended his cousin's funeral yesterday. Then he said, "I came to the gym to get away from it and my mind off of things." It feels good to know that it isn't just me who can find peace, if only temporary, on the basketball court.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
If I Could Go Back In Time
Baxter's Buzz
"Are you going to invite him to the party?" My wife asked me today. My reply was simply, "No."
She asked me was I done with him, but he's been done with me for quite some time. I try to put myself in the shoes of others and attempt to see things how they may be seeing them. Sometimes I am so rational, that it is difficult for me to get upset at others because I understand that we are all imperfect. I want to be mad and blame people for things that have happened to me, but most of the time I can't. And honestly, sometimes, it bugs the hell out of me!
I want to be mad because I've been a loyal friend to anyone I've ever called a friend and that hasn't always been reciprocated. I want to be mad because I've always been accessible and I can't even get certain people to answer their phone when I call. I want to be mad because some folks get amnesia when it comes to those who were there for them when they were going through issues. The have a selective memory and remember your shortcomings but they are afraid of a mirror.
I've gone through all sorts of ups and downs over the past couple of years and I would've liked to share those things with the people I've always shared moments with. I'm not afraid of a mirror. I don't always like what I see, but I never fool myself into thinking the truth is anything other than just that.
I wish I could go back in time and talk to my family, on my mother's and father's side and explain to them how important it is for me to stay connected once my mother passed. I wish I could tell them to share stories with me about her so that her memory would live on. I wish I could tell them to not be so effin selfish and to make time for me. Come and get me during the holidays to visit my mom's side of the family. I'd tell them that not talking about issues doesn't make them go away. Maybe they should've taken me to therapy. Maybe they could've just been present in my life.
But everyone had their own lives to deal with, right? Maybe they didn't know what to say to an eight year old whose life was turning upside down. And maybe instead of trying to work through those challenges, they decided to not even try. So as I look at my 6 month old daughter and think about the stories that I'll share with her, there will be many questions that she'll ask that I won't be able to answer. I hope that I'll be able to fill in some of those blanks between now and then. I want to rid myself of any resentment and continue to seek out family members to not only get some answers, but to reconnect. I cannot repeat their lack of effort on my behalf. I am now doing this for my family so my daughter will have a sense of her history.
If I could go back in time and talk to my family, I'd share my disappointment with their lack of a plan. I'd explain that taking someone's history is one of the worst things you can do to them. I'd then tell them that I'll become a winner and productive member of society, with or without their support, but I'd choose the former ten out of ten times. God has blessed me with strength, determination and a drive to succeed, against all odds. The friends that I no longer speak to were at one time, shoulders that I could lean on, taking the place of the family I never got a chance to learn and grow up with.
So that's why it's difficult for me to get upset. All of my experiences, good and bad, has gotten me to this place. And although my life is far from perfect, the challenges that I've faced has given me the confidence to know that I can overcome all sorts of obstacles. So instead of going back to chastise family members for their lack or interest or effort, I'd go and talk to myself. I'd tell myself to ask questions. To demand to see my family and to not take no for an answer. I'd try to explain to my eight year old brain that sometimes you're a better friend to others than they are to you, and that's okay. I'd tell myself that all people aren't meant to be in your life forever. So take the memories you've shared and the lessons you've learned while with them and consider yourself blessed to have had them in your life.
"Are you going to invite him to the party?" My wife asked me today. My reply was simply, "No."
She asked me was I done with him, but he's been done with me for quite some time. I try to put myself in the shoes of others and attempt to see things how they may be seeing them. Sometimes I am so rational, that it is difficult for me to get upset at others because I understand that we are all imperfect. I want to be mad and blame people for things that have happened to me, but most of the time I can't. And honestly, sometimes, it bugs the hell out of me!
I want to be mad because I've been a loyal friend to anyone I've ever called a friend and that hasn't always been reciprocated. I want to be mad because I've always been accessible and I can't even get certain people to answer their phone when I call. I want to be mad because some folks get amnesia when it comes to those who were there for them when they were going through issues. The have a selective memory and remember your shortcomings but they are afraid of a mirror.
I've gone through all sorts of ups and downs over the past couple of years and I would've liked to share those things with the people I've always shared moments with. I'm not afraid of a mirror. I don't always like what I see, but I never fool myself into thinking the truth is anything other than just that.
I wish I could go back in time and talk to my family, on my mother's and father's side and explain to them how important it is for me to stay connected once my mother passed. I wish I could tell them to share stories with me about her so that her memory would live on. I wish I could tell them to not be so effin selfish and to make time for me. Come and get me during the holidays to visit my mom's side of the family. I'd tell them that not talking about issues doesn't make them go away. Maybe they should've taken me to therapy. Maybe they could've just been present in my life.
But everyone had their own lives to deal with, right? Maybe they didn't know what to say to an eight year old whose life was turning upside down. And maybe instead of trying to work through those challenges, they decided to not even try. So as I look at my 6 month old daughter and think about the stories that I'll share with her, there will be many questions that she'll ask that I won't be able to answer. I hope that I'll be able to fill in some of those blanks between now and then. I want to rid myself of any resentment and continue to seek out family members to not only get some answers, but to reconnect. I cannot repeat their lack of effort on my behalf. I am now doing this for my family so my daughter will have a sense of her history.
If I could go back in time and talk to my family, I'd share my disappointment with their lack of a plan. I'd explain that taking someone's history is one of the worst things you can do to them. I'd then tell them that I'll become a winner and productive member of society, with or without their support, but I'd choose the former ten out of ten times. God has blessed me with strength, determination and a drive to succeed, against all odds. The friends that I no longer speak to were at one time, shoulders that I could lean on, taking the place of the family I never got a chance to learn and grow up with.
So that's why it's difficult for me to get upset. All of my experiences, good and bad, has gotten me to this place. And although my life is far from perfect, the challenges that I've faced has given me the confidence to know that I can overcome all sorts of obstacles. So instead of going back to chastise family members for their lack or interest or effort, I'd go and talk to myself. I'd tell myself to ask questions. To demand to see my family and to not take no for an answer. I'd try to explain to my eight year old brain that sometimes you're a better friend to others than they are to you, and that's okay. I'd tell myself that all people aren't meant to be in your life forever. So take the memories you've shared and the lessons you've learned while with them and consider yourself blessed to have had them in your life.
Friday, November 8, 2013
Only Love
Baxter's Buzz
Life takes some interesting turns. Looking back as I approach my 2 year anniversary at my latest job, I can clearly say that change is the only certainty in this world. I'm telling you, unpredictability, is a friend we better get acquainted with. He ain't going anywhere!
I've lost touch with two of my closest friends. Two people who know more about me than most, I've had minimum contact with recently. How does one explain something like that? No drama. No big blow up or argument. Sometimes, people grow apart and there is no clear-cut explanation. #Shrug
I've also made some friends in this same time-frame. And I've grown closer to some family recently. I also met the sweetest little girl in the world when my daughter was born. I am saddened by the change of events, but I rarely get a chance to think about it. My life is full, for sure. The past is what has shaped me, but I do not live there. I wonder what these next 12 months will bring. My plan is continue to spend time with those I care about. And let them know how special they are to me. No room in my heart for resentment, only love.
Life takes some interesting turns. Looking back as I approach my 2 year anniversary at my latest job, I can clearly say that change is the only certainty in this world. I'm telling you, unpredictability, is a friend we better get acquainted with. He ain't going anywhere!
I've lost touch with two of my closest friends. Two people who know more about me than most, I've had minimum contact with recently. How does one explain something like that? No drama. No big blow up or argument. Sometimes, people grow apart and there is no clear-cut explanation. #Shrug
I've also made some friends in this same time-frame. And I've grown closer to some family recently. I also met the sweetest little girl in the world when my daughter was born. I am saddened by the change of events, but I rarely get a chance to think about it. My life is full, for sure. The past is what has shaped me, but I do not live there. I wonder what these next 12 months will bring. My plan is continue to spend time with those I care about. And let them know how special they are to me. No room in my heart for resentment, only love.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Thoughts for Today
| Baxter's Buzz Life is full of all sorts of surprises. It's exciting and nerve wrecking at the same time. Back in the day people stayed at jobs for 30-40 years until they retired. That's becoming less and less the case. It makes it tough to have that comfort level....especially in the world of sales. What can you do? Work hard and keep an update resume is a good start. Work drama will never end. I don't care where you work. I was exchanging stories with a friend of mine today, and there are wacky things going on from mom and pop shops, to fortune 100 companies. Wacky people in leadership roles and wacky people reporting to their wacky managers. And then you have to deal with different personality types. I believe, many times, that the manager you report to along with the actual work you do (and pay of course) determine how successful you'll be at a job. Some personalities just mesh well with all types of folks and then some others just have bad attitudes and a negative outlook. Those negative folks will always find it difficult to achieve happiness (life is tough enough when you're optimistic). These negative Nancy types are truly fighting an uphill battle. These sour faced-characters are walking around bringing the morale down in the office, one frown at a time. They don't understand how meaningful a simple smile could be to someone having a tough day. A simple hello or compliment can go a long way. |
Monday, August 19, 2013
Advantages of Having a Baby
16 weeks ago my wife and I had a baby girl. This is the most awesome feeling IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. Soon I'll blog about that whole experience, but for now I'm sharing a list of advantages of having a baby.
1. Taking weird family photos - I took the most awkward picture since I was in elementary school (I used to take every picture with my mouth open forever. Wish one of the photographers would have given me a heads up) with my wife and my newborn baby, posted it on Facebook and I only heard one comment about how bad the picture was (you know who you are).
2. Bad grammar - I'm not sure why "baby talk" was invented, but I'm pretty sure it's one of the worst inventions this side of the shake weight. "Wook at da wittle baby." Seriously? Who talks like that?? And then they wonder why their baby talks like Elmer Fud. Talk to them like regular people.....because they are regular people. They're just little.
3. Passive aggressiveness - Have you ever talked to your significant other through your baby? It's one of the quickest way to start an argument...Trust me. "So daddy was just gonna leave you poopy until I came back, huh?" What did you and mommy do all day? The house looks the same as when I left for work today." Even though you can do it, I'd advise against it.
4. Blame farts on the baby - Infants have some of the loudest farts around. Conceivably (pardon the pun), you could pass gas as loud as you possibly could and blame it on the baby. And depending on how gullible they are, your spouse could actually go for it. I wish you the best of luck with that one.
5. Leave engagements early (or get out of plans altogether) - Children are unpredictable. They get fussy, sick, and your plans can unravel quickly. Anyone who has kids are typically more understanding if you change plans suddenly or need to cancel. And if the people you are cancelling with DON'T have kids, you can believe that somebody with children will attempt to explain (and justify) your sudden change of plans. And if you are already at an event, you are one baby meltdown from excusing yourself and skating home early. Nobody wants a crying baby ruining the mood of a good party or gathering. They'll be glad to see you walk out of that door.
Shout out to K-Dubb for helping me with this list.
1. Taking weird family photos - I took the most awkward picture since I was in elementary school (I used to take every picture with my mouth open forever. Wish one of the photographers would have given me a heads up) with my wife and my newborn baby, posted it on Facebook and I only heard one comment about how bad the picture was (you know who you are).
2. Bad grammar - I'm not sure why "baby talk" was invented, but I'm pretty sure it's one of the worst inventions this side of the shake weight. "Wook at da wittle baby." Seriously? Who talks like that?? And then they wonder why their baby talks like Elmer Fud. Talk to them like regular people.....because they are regular people. They're just little.
3. Passive aggressiveness - Have you ever talked to your significant other through your baby? It's one of the quickest way to start an argument...Trust me. "So daddy was just gonna leave you poopy until I came back, huh?" What did you and mommy do all day? The house looks the same as when I left for work today." Even though you can do it, I'd advise against it.
4. Blame farts on the baby - Infants have some of the loudest farts around. Conceivably (pardon the pun), you could pass gas as loud as you possibly could and blame it on the baby. And depending on how gullible they are, your spouse could actually go for it. I wish you the best of luck with that one.
5. Leave engagements early (or get out of plans altogether) - Children are unpredictable. They get fussy, sick, and your plans can unravel quickly. Anyone who has kids are typically more understanding if you change plans suddenly or need to cancel. And if the people you are cancelling with DON'T have kids, you can believe that somebody with children will attempt to explain (and justify) your sudden change of plans. And if you are already at an event, you are one baby meltdown from excusing yourself and skating home early. Nobody wants a crying baby ruining the mood of a good party or gathering. They'll be glad to see you walk out of that door.
Shout out to K-Dubb for helping me with this list.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Letter to TSH
Baxter's Buzz
Life changes, and sometimes quicker than a blink of an eye, and days turn into weeks fast. Then you realize that you haven't talked to one of your favorite people in the world for like, months.
I just want you to know that I am very proud of you and the woman you've become. You're wedding, I hate that we cannot attend. Just know that we are praying for you guys and I am excited for the life you two seem to be building together. No relationship is perfect, but you just keep working on it and do your best to demonstrate your love and appreciation for one another (I say this to you as I remind myself of the same thing).
I didn't know any married people when I was young besides Derrick and Lea. I remember everything seeming so perfect and effortless for them, at least that was my impression (This is me as a teenager who didn't spend a ton of time with them). I remember seeing them argue for the first time and it gave me hope that Crystal and I DID have a shot because we argued sometimea too...haha. I was like, "Well, this must be natural."
I'd like for us to spend more time together. I want to get to know Cortez better and spend time with Kennedy too. We're neighbors and I've been to your house one stinkin time! It's totally my fault though. When we were young do you know how excited we'd be if we knew that we'd both have little baby girls, be married and live 5 minutes from one another? What would make for a better script? You are weird, like me (maybe even more weird) and that doesn't always play out well for us. We have so much going on in our brain, dealing with who knows what, that picking up the phone can sometimes be difficult. I get lost in my mind for days at a time, thinking of so may people, yet reaching out to so few. That is on the list of about 2,593,552 other things that I need to work on, although very close to the top. Please know that I love you very much and always will.
Life changes, and sometimes quicker than a blink of an eye, and days turn into weeks fast. Then you realize that you haven't talked to one of your favorite people in the world for like, months.
I just want you to know that I am very proud of you and the woman you've become. You're wedding, I hate that we cannot attend. Just know that we are praying for you guys and I am excited for the life you two seem to be building together. No relationship is perfect, but you just keep working on it and do your best to demonstrate your love and appreciation for one another (I say this to you as I remind myself of the same thing).
I didn't know any married people when I was young besides Derrick and Lea. I remember everything seeming so perfect and effortless for them, at least that was my impression (This is me as a teenager who didn't spend a ton of time with them). I remember seeing them argue for the first time and it gave me hope that Crystal and I DID have a shot because we argued sometimea too...haha. I was like, "Well, this must be natural."
I'd like for us to spend more time together. I want to get to know Cortez better and spend time with Kennedy too. We're neighbors and I've been to your house one stinkin time! It's totally my fault though. When we were young do you know how excited we'd be if we knew that we'd both have little baby girls, be married and live 5 minutes from one another? What would make for a better script? You are weird, like me (maybe even more weird) and that doesn't always play out well for us. We have so much going on in our brain, dealing with who knows what, that picking up the phone can sometimes be difficult. I get lost in my mind for days at a time, thinking of so may people, yet reaching out to so few. That is on the list of about 2,593,552 other things that I need to work on, although very close to the top. Please know that I love you very much and always will.
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