#QuarantinedChaos

#BaxtersBuzz
The stress that comes with this quarantine is a lot. I am blessed to still have a job and I am grateful to not have more immediate needs at the moment. That doesn't take away from the fact that we have our own issues over here! I have hit another wall. The pressures of being a leader at home and at work, where someone needs something pretty much all day is exhausting. I know my wife is feeling a lot of the same pressure. It's just difficult to take a step back and regroup, in large part because we can't physically leave our homes. I relished my drive home from work each day. Those were my few minutes to let go of the work day, attempting to scrape my plate of anything that didn't deserve to make the trip home with me. Although difficult, I'm forcing myself to get up in the morning to have time for myself before "starting" my day. Time to organize my thoughts before we jump on this fire-spitting dragon called #QuarantinedChaos

Song of the Day - The Rain by The Dramatics. As I review the lyrics of this song, I realize that there aren't many. Three short verses, but they are heavy. The best way to describe this song is: The writer has some things weighing heavily on their mind. They are heartbroken. So much so, they'd rather go outside in the rain to cry than to talk to someone about how they are feeling. How well do you deal with your emotions? What do you do to cope?

Isn't She Lovely? - My baby girl just turned 7. In April of 2013, I started to change. I genuinely believe that my chemical makeup is different and it all started after seeing that little girl's face. When I think about Zara and Bryce, I think about keeping them safe at all costs. I think about not only providing advice that sounds like the right thing to do, but being an example. That means putting that advice into practice personally. Win, lose, or draw, I want to be able to say, "Well it did/didn't work out for me that particular time, but what is most important is the attempt that I made."

Vulnerability...A Superpower - I did not cry before my baby arrived. Period. And then Zara was born...boy, did I make up for lost time! My wife even makes fun of me about it because I've truly changed. My heart is more exposed and I'm more vulnerable. But this new vulnerability has actually made me stronger. I can be more transparent and not hide behind this laissez-fare facade all of the time. I am a much more well rounded person, and I'm not sure when/if that happens without the arrival of my children.

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