The Peanut Gallery

Baxter's Buzz I am always amazed by people. How they conduct themselves. Are they shy? Awkward? Are they overcompensating for something? Are they just super cool people? I don't "people watch," per se. I just pick up on certain vibes and once I do pick up on a particular vibe, I become more attentive. Your work environment can feel a lot like high school sometimes. There will always be those who love to gossip, love to be the center of attention, and love to think they're too cool for everyone else (amongst other types). Believe it or not, there are still bullies in corporate America (and not just the rich big wigs). I remember in college when everyone thought they could start their lives over, in a sense and shake any reputation they carried in prior years that they weren't too fond of. But you are pretty much who you are and your "new" persona usually fades away eventually. I had a guy at work tell me recently, "I knew you were getting your promotion probably before you even knew." Really? Who in the hell does he know? Nobody, that's who! We have some new roles being filled at work now and the gossips will have their conspiracy theories once positions are filled. The worse thing you can do is agree with a fool! All they need is one person to go along with their foolish ideas or made up lies and they believe that they are justified. My goal is to always steer clear of the fools. I don't want to be associated with the gossips because in my view, they are the only uncool kids around. We must focus our energy lifting one another up. We must encourage our friends, family and coworkers alike. If you have time to spread rumors, you have time to look in the mirror and work on improving your situation. I have to believe it's pretty tough to do both. So next month I'll be 32 years old and my thought process hasn't changed when it comes to an environment similar to high school: I'd rather be the one being talked about than the one doing the talking. Hopefully I'll always be too busy handling my own business to be worried about some else's.

Ordinary People

Baxter's Buzz

Listen. Can you hear that? What thoughts run through your head in the middle of the night? What motivates you to wake up every morning? What is your inspiration?
"To have a reason to get up in the morning, it is necessary to possess a guiding principle..." Those words are the first on the first page of the book 'Ordinary People.' Although I always think this line is from 'Catcher In The Rye,' the line has always stuck with me, nonetheless.

I hear voices in my head. I relive powerful conversations from the past that encouraged me to want more in life than what I saw most in my neighborhood wanting. My friends and I talked big and dreamed even bigger. We compared our upbringing to what we wanted for our future children and decided to break cycles. We pushed each other to achieve things that wouldn't have been possible without the support system we created. With all of that being said, we as individuals must ultimately determine what path we want to take. And we as individuals must create a plan to ensure our path leads to our end goal.

I am, and have been for quite some time, walking in uncharted territory. My footsteps are fresh. Every step is measured, for I know not what lies ahead. I watch interviews and documentaries because I want to know how to set myself apart from the crowd. I want to know how a regular cat like me can achieve greatness. I want to learn what type of sacrifices were made and could they feel their momentum growing as they reached one seemingly unattainable goal after another. Because sometimes I feel that way. I think. What is their secret?

Who first told you that you were special? What did they say? Do you believe you're special? We're all just ordinary people with extraordinary capabilities. Will we ever realize our potential? Giving all-out effort is a talent. Most of us are just skating by, running at 50% effort, or less. Dedicating most of our efforts each day complaining, pointing fingers and avoiding work that may be just outside of our "duties" or job description.

You owe yourself more than that. You have more inside of you than throwing daily pity parties and watching all of the successful people on tv. Being great doesn't necessarily being famous, because we all know those two things don't always coincide.

I believe the more people that we can inspire, the more inspired we become. Surround yourself with those who want more from life and challenge each other to strive for even greater things. Laugh, smile and enjoy the journey. And don't be afraid to change paths is necessary.

Fresh Start

Baxter's Buzz

I spoke with my little sister yesterday. She has been feeling neglected by most of her family recently, I haven't done a good job of correcting that. See, her and I are the youngest of my dad's children. Quite honestly, I'm sure me being born 31 years ago when my father's youngest at that time was 14 years old. So imagine all of ours surprise when my little sister was born 19 years ago when I was 13! I wanted to make sure that she didn't feel alienated like I did when I was young (truth be told, I still have my issues at 31 years old).

But while trying to find my way through life, I haven't been a good brother. My wife says she understands my point, but that I'm too hard on myself. She says, "How can you really extend yourself when you're still having issues at your age?"
She poses a great point, but I refuse to let myself off the hook that easily. I told my younger sister that I need to do better and she replied, "It's not too late to make a fresh start." Regardless of how I feel about my older siblings and what they've done or not done, I can only control my actions. Bottom line is: I need to do better. And I will. Not sure about it being a "fresh"start, but in many ways every day is a fresh start. Not what will I do with it?

R.I.P. to a classmate of mine who died suddenly this week. My prayers go out to you and your family.

Realignment

Baxter's Buzz

Last night, Wifey and I started to move some things around to get ready for our new arrival this spring. I have clothes in two different closets (if you know me, you're not surprised) with our baby coming, I need to consolidate to one closet. When you have new things enter your life, you have to make room for them. Sometimes making room for things involves making tough decisions. You may have to let go of a certain lifestyle, a certain habit or let go of certain people to allow others in. People and other things may enter your life for a season. Some seasons last longer, but most of them eventually end. Jimi Hendrix once said, "Castles made of sand fall in the sea, eventually."

Don't be afraid of your future. Embrace it. Don't be consumed by your past. You can take a peak in the rear-view mirror, but your eyes must be looking forward. It's the only way you can reach the goals that you have set for yourself. You can learn from the past. You can reference the past. You cannot, however, live in the past. Onward and upward!

Relocation

Baxter's Buzz

Monday is my company's first day at our new location. Although I've only been with the company for just over a year, my life has changed so much in this short span. I'm working with some of the best people around. Not only do I get along with them at work, I've actually met folks that I consider to be my friends. Many of them came out to support my nonprofit when I had only been there for a few months and that really struck a cord with me. In addition to the career opportunity being awesome the people have literally changed my life.

What is a friend? I'm not sure if there is a static definition that is applicable for such a fluid topic. I'm not really sure where I'm heading with this, so just work with me. I am turning 32 years old this spring. I'm also expecting my first child around the same time. I haven't had much communication with some of the folks I consider my best friends recently. Are they not my friends anymore? I wouldn't say that, but what I would say is that our friendship has changed (changed dramatically, as a matter of fact). When I was young, I never imagined NOT growing old with the folks I shared so many of my fondest memories with as a child. Things change though. You have to be thankful for the memories you've shared with people and leave it at that. Nobody owes you any more. If you create more memories together, great, but don't feel that anyone owes you.

It is not fair to compare one friend to another. Relationship dynamics can be complicated and vary from person to person. There are a ton of people in the world who share some of your interests and who you can have great conversations with and share good times with. Will you ask them to stand up at your wedding? Maybe not. Just appreciate each great laugh, great conversation and overall great moment with anyone that you're fortunate enough to enjoy them with.

Ongoing Tradegy (Part 1)

Baxter's Buzz

It has been quite some time since I've posted a blog. I felt compelled to ask a few questions aloud (well, at least on paper..). The tragedy in Connecticut on Friday shook me and those around me differently than any recent tragedy that I can remember. Many of my coworkers have children, and with the number of nieces, nephews and young cousins that I have, the cowardly action from Friday made me feel extremely vulnerable. As human beings, we feel an obligation to protect the innocent: Women, children and the elderly. This story is a reminder of not only the issues that we have, but the differences as well.

Whenever there's a violent act that captures the nation's attention, the battle between pro-gun people and anti-gun people grows stronger. I honestly don't feel strongly one way or the other. I believe that guns are definitely a problem, but they don't shoot themselves. I feel like guns is only truly one part of this problem, but I don't necessarily feel that they are the main problem.

It's Bigger Than Hip Hop

I'm 31 years old and I will continue to listen to hip hop when there are artists that I want to hear. But I will not support nor defend anything outside of that. I get so sick of hearing about fights and scuffles between grown ass millionaires and their entourages. I believe that it is irresponsible behavior on a number of levels. These folks won't learn until...you know what? Most of these fools will never learn, I am sad to say.  I like a number of artists when the music feels authentic. When the music is real and the artistry is there. Hip hop was built on saying the most creative rhymes, bragging about how much better you were than everyone else and expressing yourself through fashion. One of the best (if not the best) songs ever is "The Message" by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. It shed light on their community and what people were dealing with. It referred to the struggles that people in urban America were facing. It was never to be glorified though, only to be given a voice. Well what is considered "given a voice," is up for interpretation. There are many rappers (not to be confused with artists) who claim to be exposing the world to what goes in the inner cities, but they are really trying to make a quick buck exploiting themselves and their community. The talk of drug dealing and killing by young people who make tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands and sometimes millions of dollars is ridiculous. Most of these rappers are not leading the life that they're promoting and if there are, they're as dumb as they believe us listeners are for buying that garbage. These record executives have the most important role in all of this. They decide what's "hot" or not and whatever they say the forecast is, that's what it is. I will save the conspiracy theories for another time, but if the executives wanted to make catchy songs that promoted eating your vegetables and finishing school, these kids would be creating records about Masters degrees and asparagus. This is a topic that I am clearly incapable of doing justice, however, the part I have addressed is the easy stuff. The conversation will continue although I'm not sure if we'll make much progress.