Never Forgotten

Poems by Bax

Never forgotten
You're part of my fabric
Part of the humor
Part of the tragic
Your disappearing act was like magic: Copperfield
While I ran the streets trying to cop a feel
The white boys were copping pills
The dope boys were copping wheels
Fire hydrant cooled the summer days while the old folks chilled
Free lunches; don't forget the milk
At the rec pool
Couldn't wait to get out of summer school
All these memories are a part of me
Will I forget those days? Hardly
The experience has been Godly

10 Year Plan

I go through these spells where I have a ton of things on my mind, but cannot organize my thoughts. Sundays are when I start to think about the upcoming week, but I seem to always look further (much further) and start examining my entire life. These are the times that I become super frustrated. I'm not sure where I'm "supposed" to be in my life at this particular time. All I know is: I ain't there. I met a young man last week who found out about our nonprofit through an article he had read. I met with him to see if there was an opportunity for us to help one another. He's 21 years old, has some different passions, but not entirely sure the direction he wants to go. In other words: He's in the same boat of about 85% off 21 year olds in the world. And I'd imagine about 80% of everyone else. At 21 you have been out of school for more than 2 years and things are starting to change.  I told him about having a plan, avoiding excuses, and utilizing all of his resources. As I spoke with the young man, I realized that I was 10 years older than him and there are times when I lose my way. As a matter of fact: I struggled last week with wanting more money and trying to decide if it was time for me to move on from my current situation. We all would like more money, less stress, and more recognition at our job. I wonder what percentage of people feel like they're getting paid "what they deserve" at their job. Most of us spend half our lives at our jobs and the other half complaining about our jobs. As I spoke with this fresh faced kid, looking for his first real opportunity, I wondered if I could follow some of the advice that I passed along to him. Later in the week I spoke with a friend of mine who's going through a crossroads of sorts in his own life. As he spoke to me about how bad his situation was, I realized that he had no plan, always had an excuse for why something didn't go his way, and didn't take advantage of the resources at his disposal. He is almost the exact same person he was at 21 (He's now 31). I have no idea what the 21 year old will do with his next 10 years on earth. I'm not sure if he'll be in the same state of mind, just trying to find his way, but I pray the he'll exceed the limited success that I've experienced in 31 years and can pass along some knowledge to someone aspiring to being like him.

The Celebration of Second Chances

It's always awesome when great things not only happen for you, but for your loved ones. This past weekend I celebrated with a friend of mine who is getting a second chance in many ways. He's been living in Detroit and barely able to pay his bills. He hasn't been able to save enough money to pay off all of the tickets he has in order to get his license. And with no license, you're options of employment are limited...when there are actually people hiring. He wanted more and was considering an array of avenues to get more money with many of them (okay all of them) being illegal.

I do my best not to judge people. I have been around all types of addicts, including my mother and father. There are people who most people would be terrified of who'd give me the shirt off their backs. They are judged by people because they haven't been able to manage their demons and result to their choice of drug, be it cocaine, pills, or alcohol. I think it is very interesting how judgmental folks can be just because they can afford their addiction or their demons cannot be detected by the naked eye...But I digress.

My friend was considering selling crack/cocaine; A drug that has destroyed millions of lives. Selling drugs (I'm not including marijuana. I don't smoke, but I don't see much wrong with it) is kinda like shooting a gun into a house; You know it is causing damage, but you don't really know how much damage. My friend and I have had the displeasure of living in THAT house, and seeing first hand how destructive and deadly it can be. We are two of the fortunate ones who have survived being exposed to that lifestyle, but how could we be the cause of other children facing the challenging odds of surviving that life and being a productive member of society?

A friend of his offered to get him out of the state. He drove from down south and will allow him to live with him. He's also giving him 2 months rent free until he can get on his feet. This was just what the doctor ordered! There are many times that we're faced with what feels like the lesser of two evils. Life can be so difficult and simply surviving can take the place of a rational and ethical alternative.

This is a celebration of second chances. The second chances that many of us don't get. I wish him all the best and I'm ecstatic of what the future holds for him.

Work Friends

Baxter's Buzz

This past week has been awesome. It was my wife's birthday on Monday and I believe (fingers crossed) that she was happy with the way things turned out. We did a few things leading up to her actual day, and I'm proud of the way I handled things. I never feel like I've done enough for her; if it's a birthday or we're celebrating anything. I put a limit on the amount we could spend for Christmas this past year. I did it so we wouldn't spend too much and pay for it, but especially because I didn't want to be the cause of us going broke. I think most of us work so hard to make our partners happy that it can be exhausting at times. Then you throw children in that mix and 90% of your time is dedicated to making other people happy, with remaining 10% split between sleep and American Idol.

Later in the week my nonprofit was able to get away our first scholarship. It was an awesome feeling to see a light bulb turn on upstairs and then years later seeing your vision coming to fruition. My group, although small, is fantastic. We have a core group that is consistent in attending meetings and providing some great ideas with equal follow-through. We have some folks that have come and gone, but that is to be expected. Life happens and it isn't always easy to stick to your commitments. When the pressure comes, people have been known to leave mates, jobs, and even children behind. When you think of it that way, nobody feels much guilt in leaving commitments like softball leagues and a book clubs.

I am so noncommittal because I hate giving my word and then not following through. So when I give my word, you can count on it. If I have no intentions of attending an event I'll just say that. People aren't always thrilled, but I believe most of them respect the honesty. There are some who'd rather you lie to them about attending, because that is the way they handle things. They're the type to make plans and then not answer the phone on the day the plans are suppose to occur. 

The turnout for the event was great and the recipient of our first annual scholarship was extremely gracious, as was her family. The people that I work with were more supportive than my friends or family. These folks must like me because I've only been there for a little over 7 months and many of the people I talk to daily were as excited as anyone because they knew how important it was for me. I was used to coworkers only talking to you during the hours the office was open. Don't get caught in the middle of a story when 5 o'clock hits or you'd have to finish up the next day. I made a great decision by joining this company and I'm hopeful that I'll have some good friends when I leave.

I plan to blog a couple times this week to share some other things that have been on my mind. As always, I appreciate you guys reading. And as long as you keep reading, I'll keep blogging.

God Bless,
Baxter E.

Your Computer May Be at Risk

It appears to be always something. You take two steps forward and then one step back. Life is tricky like that. The news is scary, cancer can be caused by almost everything it seems. I read last week that exercise may be bad for you! Are you kidding me?? What is one to do? You're encouraged to do shopping online because there are deals there that you can't get in the stores. Then, they tell you how bad internet security is and it's not a matter of if, but when your identity will be stolen. Sheesh. I work everyday at a job where most of the people, even the higher ups are respectful. There is one rude s.o.b., but I don't have to see much of them so not a big deal. So even though my job is great, there are other opportunities to make more money, work closer to home, or some other opportunity/risk. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Money will NOT run my life. I understand its importance, but I won't become a slave to it. Will I listen to offers? For sure. I won't however, insert myself into a situation that I know will be awful for the sake of making a few extra dollars.

Week in Review
The Old College Try - There was a story of a man eating his roommate's heart and brains after killing him. I've had some roommates that have gotten on my last nerve, and although I may have thought of hurting them, never considered killing them and eating their organs. Seriously, was it the dirty dishes or the loud John Mayer music?

Riding Dirty - Nick Fairley, the knuckle head player for the Detroit Lions was arrested again this summer. This time for driving 100 miles per hour while being intoxicated. This is why it is difficult to be a fan these days. These guys make so much money that it is hard for us regular folks to understand whey they behave so stupidly. I don't go out of my way to watch sports like I used to, although I still watch my fair share. These guys are out there living their dreams so I need to take time for myself to pursue my own.


Ernie - The wife and I went to see "Ernie" downtown Detroit at the City Theatre on Saturday. Hockeytown Cafe was very average regarding their food, but the show was fantastic. It was about Ernie Harwell, the voice of the Detroit Tigers and his story. Learning about his story and how humble he was. That is someone that I can get behind, not these idiot athletes who contribute to the negative stereotypes. The show nearly brought me to tears. A God-fearing man who never felt like he deserved the spotlight for doing something he felt privileged to do.

For Us Regular Folks (Hall of Fame)

Baxter's Buzz

The last time I posted, I gave you my case for Ben Wallace being a hall of famer. I want to talk about us regular folks today. What is our "hall of fame"? Many will say it is heaven, and although I agree, I want to talk about our time on earth.

I was talking with a friend of mine who has been struggling with finances. Student loans has been kicking her butt and she barely has enough money for her other bills. I think it is an absolute shame that people are working (and many people still can't find work) to pay their student loans. According to an analysis from the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, student loan debt had reached 867 billion by the end of 2011, more than credit card debt or auto loans.

There's this illusion of the "American Dream" where people are supposed to work hard in school, go to college, get a job, buy a house, and after marriage and kids, you live happily ever after. They fail to mention that student loans are suffocating families and folks are working primarily to pay back their loans. And stress levels are at an all-time high. My wife still owes a significant amount of money and as I contemplate finishing up my degree, I am concerned that the money I'll earn with a degree won't be enough of bump in my salary to justify incurring $50,000 or more of debt.

I refuse to worry about money and spend the best part of my life stressed out. I understand that money is a necessary evil. That's why I work hard and show up everyday, but I believe that there's more to life than chasing the mighty dollar. The legacy you leave is pretty much the hall of fame for us regular folks. The lives you help improve and the smiles that you leave on people's faces when they think of you. That's how I want to be remembered. You can keep the money...well not all the money, but...you know what I mean.

Big Ben - Hall of Famer

Sports Buzz

Career averages of 10 rebounds, 6 points, and 2 blocks per game doesn't tell the whole story of this soon-to-be Hall of Famer. That's right, I said it. As I watched the Pistons vs. Wizards game on Monday night (March 26th) and Greg Monroe, the Pistons big man of the future received his fifth foul in the third quarter, Ben Wallace entered the game. And Mr. Wallace did what he's always done when his number is called: He went to work. He was talking on defense, being physical with the bigs from Washington and his presence alone helped the Pistons stay within striking distance. He barked at the refs, blocked shots, and played his stinking heart out. As I watched him defend Nene Hilario, who to the untrained eye, appears to have a clear advantage of any person who is about 6 inches and 25-35 pounds lighter than he is, I realized that this is what Big Ben has been faced with since his rookie year in the 96-97 season. Sheer dermination and good old fashioned hard work. Once he arrived in Detroit after bouncing from Washington to Orlando, he found his niche. He came to a city that not only embodies grit and an honest days work, but that also made folk heroes of players like Bill Laimbeer, John Salley, and hall of famer Dennis Rodman.

Ben Wallace and Chucky Atkins were "traded" to Detroit when Grant Hill decided he was going to Orlando as a free agent. To make salaries fit, and as some sort of consolation prize, Joe Dumars asked for Chucky Atkins and John Amechi. Luckily for Joe, the Magic were too high on Amechi and decidedd to offer Ben Wallace instead. Deal!

We all know what happens next so let's look at some things people may not remember or have taken for granted. Wallace was the silent leader of a team that went to six Eastern Conference Finals. In 2004, the year the Pistons won the title, they held teams to third lowest total since the shot clock era at 84 points per game. They were a Robert Horry 3 pointer (damn it, Rasheed) from winning the title again in '05. This was a team that didn't do it by clearing it out for a superstar to go one on five, they played hard nose defense and grinded it out on offense.

They reminded us Detroiters of the original "Bad Boys" by intimidating teams and truly turning the chip on their shoulders into a "chip" on the mantle. With Ben's help-side defense, he even made Chauncey Billups a mainstay on the All NBA defensive teams (no small feat). Ben is 6'7" and led the league in blocks (Okay not really but he was at 3.1 and Theo Ratliff was at 3.2), rebounds (twice), and was the Defensive Player of the Year four times in 5 years (I love Ron Artest but come on). Sadly on most nights he appears to be the best defensive player on the Pistons roster. As he finishes up his hall of fame career in a Pistons jersey, where his hall of fame argument began, I hope that the young guys learn that regardless of what your measurements are, effort is something that everyone give...every single night.